Golden Rules For Successful Online Dating

Today, we're releasing ten Golden Rules to online dating. This list was compiled over several months that consisted of reviewing and responding to thousands of profiles and customer service emails. We started off with a laundry list of rules and narrowed it down to the rules that we classified as "The Fundamentals" for successful online dating. If you follow these rules, your online dating experience will be a fun, quick and easy process. Each of the following rules will be discussed in more detail in future blogs, but for now, here's a quick summary of the 10 golden rules to successful online dating.

1. Be like-able: This is a lot easier than you think and the key lies in keeping your profile simple and summarized. Your profile paints a picture of who you are and what you're about. Paint a broad picture (I am an outgoing person who enjoys the outdoors. I spend my free time snowboarding, backpacking, hiking, swimming, bike riding etc..). Dwelling on one or two subjects may lead people to believe that there's not much other activity going on in your life (I am an engineer and it's my responsibility to develop a program that interacts with widgets, it's producers and it's advertisers to populate daily analysis reports). The more activities that you can add on your profile, the more incentive you'll give others to want to contact you.

2. Be enthusiastic: Your profile is your first impression. Keeping the tone of your profile upbeat and positive will rub off on others and will lead to higher success rates. Compare the two examples: I like the beach vs. I love the beach and find the time to be there as much as I possibly can. You're saying the same thing, except that one is more colorful and descriptive than the other.

3. Add a picture: We cannot stress this enough: If you don't share a picture, online dating will probably not work for you. Add at least one picture and pick a good one. Profiles without pictures are rarely reviewed by others and rarely get responses. Would you spend time sending messages or responding to messages that didnt share a picture? A majority of registered members upload their pictures because they're serious about finding someone.

4. Be honest: Fluffing a profile may seem like a great way to better your chances of meeting singles, but that's only if you're looking for very short term results. Truth is, if dishonesty is discovered, it will likely shatter any trust and credibility that has been established. Be yourself, be honest and let people like you for who you are.

5. Stand out: Sending a one line message may seem like a quick and easy way to gauge a singles interest, but according to surveys, polls, and feedback – members hate one liners. If you're interested in connecting with someone, take the time to send a message that lets the person on the other end know that you're genuinely interested in them. The best way to get results is to stand out.

6. Interact: Don't shy away from sending messages. You're here to meet people. Be proactive in initiating contact and remember to be yourself. Try not to send messages that read like resumes, lack in content, or are cheesy in nature. Initiate contact often.

7. Be open-minded: Online dating is all about getting to know and meeting new people. Having extremely tight filters may hurt your chances of finding true success. If you receive a message that catches your attention, reply. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

8. Use your best judgment: Online dating is designed to be a safe environment, but there are people that try to game the system. Use your best judgment when it comes to sharing personal information. Don't be afraid to ask the tough questions and take as much time as you need to feel comfortable. If someone is really interested in you, they'll understand.

9. Meet people: Exchanging messages is a great way to break the ice, but chemistry is determined in real life scenarios. Trust your instincts! If you feel a connection, don't hesitate to meet them face to face. When you decide to meet with a potential match, remember to meet in a public setting.

10. Be patient: Online dating takes time. So long as you follow the tips above, you'll be sure to find yourself a match that's was well worth the wait.

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Online Dating Looks For Love On Social Media

In the online dating business where new sites close as quickly as they open and only a handful have mastered the art of matchmaking, a new generation of services is courting the billion-dollar industry by leveraging all that personal information on social networks.

Their hope: that matchmaking based on social media such as Facebook or Twitter, which some argue provide a more accurate snapshot of users’ lives, can lead to better connections.

“It’s hard to fake a Twitter stream or Flickr photos. That authenticity is what makes good and safer dates,” said Steve Odom, founder of Gelato, an online dating service in Texas that launched in September. “I’m surprised that no one had built it before me because it makes total sense.“

Gelato is a service that lets users create their profiles based on information from services like Twitter, Facebook, Hulu, Netflix and Last.fm. That way, other users can see in real time the last post someone made or the movies someone else recently saw.

Another ongoing concern with online dating is safety, but some companies try to mitigate that by basing their services on users’ existing connections.

Thread, a San Francisco site that opened in September, takes a jab at the awkwardness of navigating the Internet to meet strangers by helping Facebook users connect with the friends of their friends. Thread users can browse their friends’ contacts, ask for introductions or play matchmaker by suggesting dates to other people.

These new startups could be appealing among those in their 20s who are more comfortable with sharing personal information publicly and more interested in casual dating and expanding their networks.

For instance, almost two-thirds of the 30 million users on Zoosk, an online dating site in San Francisco, are younger than 30.

Social dating

The Web site claims to be the first site in a new category: social dating, a combination of social networks and online dating. The pitch is, make your dating profile available to Zoosk users using the same social networks — Facebook, Hi5, MySpace, Friendster, etc. — and let your friends write a good word for you in the form of testimonials.

Co-founder Shayan Zadeh said that the site’s platform is the digital equivalent of going out to a bar with friends and meeting new people.

The appeal, Zadeh said, is that meeting people through social networks takes the pressure off of going on the hunt solely for a meaningful relationship.

“In real life you’re not in a mission to find your soul mate,” he said. “Real life is about meeting new people and if it happens that I find someone I have a connection with, great. But otherwise, I’m not a loser if I don’t find a date in six months.“

BlackBox Republic is another newcomer that wants to turn online dating into a more lasting and meaningful experience.

On the one hand, the company offers a closed-door networking environment — people must pay a $25 registration to participate — for people who relate to the sex-positive community, which basically means being open to making friends with diverse sexual orientations and all kinds of relationship preferences.

On the other hand, the company, which also describes itself as a social dating site, aims to provide an environment where people can create networks they can retain even after finding new love interests. In a way, its goal is to challenge the shop-and-go spirit of the classifieds system, BlackBox Republic CEO Sam Lawrence said.

Growing old together

“Right now, none of the (online dating) sites grow with you,” he said. “Sites are no longer helpful when you date someone, and it becomes a piece of yourself that can’t stay with you. We built this from the ground up to really marry the social space and the dating space and making it about your personal life.“

Big online dating players like Match.com have flirted with ways of leveraging social networks, but in general, they are confident in their methods and mostly focus their efforts on improving them.

OnlineDatingPost.com editor Dave Evans said it is difficult to break into a market dominated by 30 or so players as acquisition costs — the cost of attracting one new user — have skyrocketed to the point where only the big players can afford the price.

But social networks have opened a window of opportunity for startups, since it’s significantly more affordable to advertise through them. Moreover, young companies have a good shot at building their own customer bases since the top online dating companies’ clients are usually more mature and in the hunt for long-term relationships.

“What’s going to be the next paradigm of online dating?” Evans said. “You’re always going to have these dominant players, but the interesting stuff is with the edge cases. These guys have created a sexier proposition.“

First Contact

So you've decided it's time to try out a few online dating sites or services. You've signed up to one or more, and you've filled out your profile in full. Now it's time to start looking for that one love you've always dreamed of, right?

Or at the very least, you'd like to start meeting people that could be the one. So the first step is to use the profile search tools your online dating service provides. On some dating sites you can simply browse using basic criteria such as age and gender. Most sites will give you some form of advanced search ability though, so you can give it very specific search criteria.

Depending on how specific your search criteria is, you may find yourself with just a few profiles which match. In other cases you might have hundreds to browse through. But browsing is what you must do to get to the next step: Making contact with someone you're interested in.

When you find a profile that catches your attention and interest, you should contact the person directly. In most cases, the online dating service will provide you with a private and secure contact method. This could be a site based email inbox, or it could involve sending email to a site controlled email address. With these contact types, the dating site acts as an intermediary for you. Anything sent through that address will be delivered to the person you want it delivered to, yet they won't be able to see your actual email address and you won't be able to see theirs.

Keep in mind that on some online dating sites, you will not be able to actually send full messages if you're using the free trial option. You usually need to be a paying member at some level first. Since online dating services cost less each month than going out clubbing does, this is a good investment if you're serious about finding dates.

It's best to introduce yourself by email instead of chat or instant messages too, because this gives you time to think about what you're writing or absorb what the other person has said. It also makes the other person more comfortable, because they don't feel as if they're "on the spot" when someone new contacts them out of the blue.

You need to realize first impressions really do count. A lot. When you first make contact with someone who's profile interested you, introduce yourself. Don't write your entire life's story of course, but also don't send just a brief sentence or two. Write a few intelligent paragraphs that summarize you.

Also let them know what it was about their profile that caught your interest. This lets them know you actually took the time to look over their information, and you're serious about getting to know them better.

Keep things light, upbeat and friendly in your email. If you fill your email with depressing commentary, complaints, or intimate details of problems in your life you will not likely get a response. Likewise, don't be overly flirtatious or sexual in your first contact email, because this can also turn people off, so you won't likely get any response.

Be sure to ask questions about them too. This will prompt them to respond to you and help keep conversations going.

Use your real first name but don't divulge other personal details such as full name, address and phone number - particularly with first contact.

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Dating At Work Can Be Good - Or Not

PORTLAND, Ore. – A lot of people seem less interested in the alleged extortion attempt against David Letterman and more focused on whether he should have been in a relationship with a woman at work.

There are a lot of different opinions when it comes to dipping into the company love pool.

“Well, I can tell you right now from experience, dating people you work with is a bad idea,” said one patron of several who were interviewed at Henry's Tavern in the Pearl District.

For some, however, things turned out all right.

“The first woman I dated at work became my fiancée, but we never got married. And the second girl I dated at work is now my wife,” said Peter Davidson.

David Griggs is an employment attorney and said most companies don't completely prohibit office connections anymore, but dating the boss or the other way around is still a faux pas.

Occasionally, that lands people in his office for sexual harassment lawsuits.

“It's a situation where there's a natural power relationship and when people take advantage of those relationships, the law often steps in and does something about,” he said.

“Typically, if it's completely consensual and voluntary, it's really nobody's business.”

Trouble can also come if other employees think the love interest is getting special treatment.

“It does get tricky,” said Pam Done. “There's a lot of gossip that goes on in a job, lots of rumors.”

Amanda Rhine, who has dated at work, said it can become a distraction.

“It just makes it really messy when you're trying to work and you can't really focus on work,” she said.

One survey found nearly half of boss-employee relationships end in marriage because the couple gets to know each other and they have common interests.

A new trend for companies is to require dating employees to sign “love contracts”, which protects companies from lawsuits.

Speed Dating for Farmers

You’ve heard of speed dating, right? That’s where people get a quick date with someone and then the singles move on to a next potential match.

Well, at Windsor’s Juniper Hill Inn there was a twist on that concept.

Representatives from about 60 different farms, chatted with potential food buyers for ten minutes, and then continued to the next. The event gave local farmers a chance to explore options for selling their foods, to larger buyers, through one-on-one conversations.

“The big idea behind it is to make as many opportunities available to our farmers as possible to sell their foods locally. So, here they are meeting with what we call business to business sales people so we are talking about distributors, retailers, coops, restaurants, healthcare providers. Anyone that is in that indirect marketplace,” said Helen Labun Jordan of the Vermont Agency of Agriculture.

This is the second time the event has been held. And it sold out. About 130 attended.

Five Reasons Men Should Try Online Dating

Men if you haven't already put your hand in at least one or two online dating sites then today is the day that it needs to happen. Online dating offers many advantages over other dating alternatives. Here is a list of just some of those benefits.

1. Inexpensive Cost per Opportunity... A membership to one of the more popular online dating sites runs around the same price as going out to the movies and dinner all by yourself or a night at the club buying two or three drinks.

2. Baggage is revealed early... At a bar you can meet a chick talk to her for the entire night and never find out about her kids, psycho ex, and any other baggage that she is carrying around with herself. Amazingly online lots of them reveal it right away which allows you to eliminate all those chicks that have unwanted baggage and more.

3. Your Options Just Increased... In the real world you are limited to the girls that are around you. No matter how tight your game or how much you travel in order to meet she must be in the same venue as you. Online, however, she need only have signed up for the site that you are on and you can join multiple sites as well. Wouldn't it be nice to go away on a business trip and already have a date set up or that girl who lives on the west side 10 miles away yet you go out on the south side? Meeting her in any of your normal spots wouldn't happen because you are always on the other side of town even though you live so close. Online all of that doesn't mater.

4. Chance to show off your strengths... At a bar a girl only sees the outer you or the drunk you depending on the hour of the night with her "Bitch Shield" up not to mention her friends. Online she gets to look you over and if you have created yourself a quality profile, build you up based on all your strengths and then get to know the real you.

5. Time to choose... At a bar if you walk in and see two girls that you like you have a 3 seconds to choose which one you want to talk to first and sometimes that second one leaves or is occupied for the rest of the night, never allowing you a chance to talk to her. Online aint nobody going anywhere and if two girls email you at once you can answer both at your own pace.

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