A Way of Life

Do you know the difference between a nice guy that rarely meets girls and a MAN that always has babes around him?

Simple; the MAN or pick-up artist takes advantage of every opportunity without any reservations.

A lot of nice guys dream of meeting hot girls. They may even attempt to meet some women via clubs, online dating sites, or speed-dating events. The reality is that most of these guys will give up after experiencing UN-favorable results. Fear and rejection are the two biggest obstacles that PREVENT most guys from trying again, and succeeding.

Reality Check -- how do you think these pick-up artists got the SKILLS to get to where they are? Very few guys are born with those skills and even naturals have made a few mistakes and get turned down from time to time. The secret is to get back up when you are knocked down, learn from your mistakes, and make improvements.

Men who are successful with women are always on, like the Energizer Bunny. They are constantly on the make, surveying new prospects, evaluating the situation and their surroundings. These guys are focused on attaining their goal and utilize SUBTLE PERSISTENCE. They practice until they feel comfortable walking up to and talking with complete strangers. That comfort level turns into a habit eventually making it second nature.

Transforming new behaviors into a way of life is how you truly become successful.

My advice is to take full advantage of your leisure time to enhance your techniques. Flirt with women everywhere: the drive-thru gal, bank tellers, your waitress, bartenders, customers, and ladies you workout alongside, etc.

Don't sit around waiting for the weekend to roll around or the club you and your buddy are hitting Saturday night. Carpe Diem! Seize the day! Consider every interaction as an opportunity for you to develop your skills.

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Simplicity In the Club

I've found from my past clubbing experiences that as long as you dress cool, smell good, dance pretty well, and show some guts by approaching women, you will get more girls than a pretty-faced guy who stands in the corner watching people dance.

Most girls in the club are not looking for "Mr. Perfect." They are just looking for fun and maybe a "doable" guy. Remember, women are there to have fun and it is too stressful and not much fun to go around looking for Mr. Perfect.

How do you portray yourself as a "doable" guy?

The goal is not to be the best looking guy or the best macker or the best dancer. It is simply to look alright, talk alright, and dance alright, because most girls are not that snobby on the dance floor. As long as you have those simple things down, you are a "doable" guy.

Don't try too hard -- it will make you look like a single-minded, desperate sex freak. Always be cool, calm, and confident.

Basically, my game is based on being neutral and simple. As long as you are not too hideous looking, you don't dance really weird, or talk like an ogre, you will probably be accepted by 75% of the chicks you approach. The ones that reject you are probably too snobby anyway... because you are a pretty good catch.

When you have a simple game plan, don't put too much pressure on yourself, and focus on the FUN, you will be more successful than if you are uptight, always trying to think of something clever to say, or pretending to be something or someone that you're not.

Yes it IS a numbers game in the club, so don't get infatuated with just one girl. And be confidently persistent in your approaches.

Here is my game plan for those that need some examples:

1. Eye contact.

2. Smile.

3. If she smiles back, I say, "Hi, what's your name?"

4. I do not give her my name first; I want to see if she is really interested in me.

5. After I get her name, I smile and say "Let's dance." If she rejects me I move on.

6. After bumping and grinding with her (while touching her subtly) I ask if she wants to go somewhere so we can talk. If she doesn't I move on to another girl.

7. Once you get her to a secluded place, you seduce her with smiles, light and funny convo, and kino (touching). She will seduce you back because she is also interested in you. Remember, seduction is a two-player game. You don't have to do all the work. Respond to her subtle seductions, instead of trying to do everything.

8. Then you move in for the kiss. This will be the ultimate interest test. Kisses will usually break any remaining barriers that she might have up.

9. What I like to do is be subtle and teasing with my lips. I try not to use any tongue at first. This will make her want your tongue even more, and eventually she'll bring out hers.

10. After you kiss her, you just do the close that you feel is proper. Maybe you wanna do a one-night-stand close, or just a phone number close, so you can go work some other chicks.

Simple!

Keep in mind that simplicity is also very effective when you are looking for long-term relationships. If you are upfront and honest in your motive, you will most likely find a girl who feels the same way.

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The Casual Coffee Date

I find that women tend to be presumptuous of a man's interest in them. They tend to assume that just because he has approached her, or asked to see her, that he wants sex or a relationship.

This makes women back off if they think the man will ask them for too much too soon.

I have also found that women tend to like the man to be easy and casual at first, projecting a sense of mystery about himself and what he is about. They tend to enjoy not knowing what is going to happen next and enjoy healthy spontaneity, and they also do not like the man to come on too strong.

With that understanding I have come up with a successful approach that addresses all the above issues, and has resulted in me having literally an over 70% success rate in getting women to agree to get together with me.

When I meet a new woman, I suggest that I find her interesting and would like to find out more about her and get to know her better over a casual coffee.

Now this does not imply I want sex or a relationship, or that I am desperate. But conveys a casual interest and a curiosity in me for her. Also I am not asking her for a dramatic and serious dinner and a movie, which implies a "relationship-oriented" type of date, which is not what I want nor what you want to convey.

The point being that she is not really sure what I want or whether I am really interested in her fully as yet. And it conveys to her that perhaps she needs to prove to me that she is worthy of my further interest. This puts her indeed on her best behavior to try and impress me.

The other part of this approach is that she is not sure where this will go. A casual coffee date can lead to anything, which I find tends to excite women and leads to the possibility of some spontaneous action.

Another important part is this, since the date is casual you do not feel obligated to kiss her or have any follow-up plans if she does not meet what you are looking for.

The last and most important part is that both you and her can relax and have fun and not feel like you are expected to do or be anything that you are not. I have found that being able to generate this sort of feeling of ease tends to speed things up between as we both know that the one will not ask the other for anything without it seeming appropriate for the moment.

While on the coffee "date" I find it's extremely rewarding to hold back your desire for her and just focus on getting to know her. In most cases she will suggest a follow-up activity or agree to see you again. And here, the key seems to be to agree and take her up on her advances and suggestions.

I have found that even if she expressed any hesitation to see me at the beginning, that tends to melt away after I suggest just a casual coffee and she has a chance to spend time with me.

A woman's interest tends to grow slowly, as opposed to rising quickly like a man's. And positioning yourself this way allows you to spend time with her and allows you to grow on her. And this seems irrespective of whether she has a boyfriend, husband or "is just not looking for a relationship right now."

In summary I say to women, "Hey, it was great meeting you. You seem very interesting and I would like to find out more about you over a casual coffee next Tuesday at 6:00. How about that?"

Then just stay easy and relaxed and let things happen on their own.

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Important Things To Do Before Your Big Date

Do you have a pre-date checklist?

This is a simple list of things you need to do before going on an important date.

It includes things about yourself -- such as brushing your teeth, taking a shower, maybe getting your hair trimmed, cutting your fingernails, etc.

It also includes things about your home -- such as cleaning your bathroom, washing the dishes, vacuuming the carpet, making sure your fridge is stocked with things to drink and munch on, etc.

And your list should include other miscellaneous items -- such as washing your car, getting money out of the bank, making reservations, etc.

It is especially important that you include items on your pre-date checklist that are important but you're apt to forget -- making sure you have a full tank of gas, placing a full roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, putting on your favorite cologne, etc. Whatever. The list will vary from person to person.

Even if you think there's very little chance of anything out of the ordinary happening on this particular date, you should always plan that it will. Always be prepared.

Even if you're supposed to meet her someplace, you should plan that you and she will wind up in your car at some point, and prep it accordingly.

Even if you think there's very little chance of the two of you coming back to your place, you should have the place spotless and everything in its place just in case.

Even if you think there's very little to no chance of anything "sexual" happening, you should plan that it will, and have the appropriate protection, lube, whips, chickens, or whatever other weirdo stuff you happen to be interested in available.

Having this simple checklist, which will grow and grow as you date more and more, will make your life so much simpler and your date so much less stressful.

You won't be on your way out the door, running late to pick her up - as usual - when you realize that there are dirty dishes everywhere, the garbage is overflowing, you have no wine, you need gas, and you have to stop at the bank to get money. (Oh, and by the way, that particular ATM will not, of course, be working.) Then you arrive 45 minutes late, your date is already annoyed, and you're stressed, sweating, and smell like gasoline.

Does this scenario sound familiar to you?

Start developing your pre-date checklist now and make your dates the joyful, stress-free, and fun experiences they're supposed to be.

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Your Emotional Trigger

Most people who begin a course of self improvement have some kind of emotional trigger -- often negative.

Maybe they feel disrespected, have experienced rejection(s), been dumped, or generally feel lonely or depressed. But there's that stage where they turn that negative emotion into an inspiration and say, "Enough is enough; it's time to change!"

This motivation usually lasts as long as the emotional trigger. More often than not, people start out on fire, eating healthily, hit the gym, hit the books, chat to more women and so on. Every time they do it, they feel the drive and face it head on.

The problem is that when the emotional trigger starts to subside, they start to slack off.

Their diet starts to allow the occasional McDonalds or binge-drinking session. Their gym routine becomes a once in a while visit and they're back in their rut -- remote control and a beer in their hands.

That is, until the next time they feel an emotional trigger, then they start up again.

The key is to keep that emotional trigger fresh and reflect on it regularly. Write it down in detail if you want to and read it every day. Every time you are debating whether to go to the gym or sit and play Playstation, or every time you think of ordering a pizza, remind yourself how you felt when you made that decision to improve yourself and why you should avoid these bad habits.

Personally I made some exceptional physical and mental improvements during the past years and I admit that many of my emotional triggers related to girls. However, I've been in a relationship the past 9 months, and though things are great between us, I ended up getting a little complacent with myself.

I had been a dedicated health freak the past 2 years, and yet in those months I stopped working out so much and started eating snack food. Then a couple of weeks ago my friend made an innocent comment about my "love handles" and it hit me how much I've let myself go! I felt ashamed of myself and felt like I'd thrown away years of hard work.

On reflection I realized that my original emotional trigger had gone.

Being in a happy relationship, I didn't need to attract or impress women or avoid rejection anymore. What I needed was another emotional trigger. And I found one in my disgust at myself at becoming so lazy and I vowed to snap out of it.

Luckily I caught myself in the early stages of complacency. Now I'm back on form, working out hard and improving myself again. This time to keep that feeling of shame at bay.

In short, don't lose sight of your emotional trigger. Use it to help you beat complacency and continue to improve!

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The Loveliest Girl

Where I work there is this fabulous Hot Babe. I'm talking about a chick so hot she makes the girls of Baywatch look ugly! Anyway today was my first real chance to meet her so here's what I did.

We're walking towards each other in the hallway so I stop her.

Me: Hi, what's your name?

Her: Tanya

Me: Hi Tanya, I've been noticing that you're by far the loveliest girl that works here and I wanted to meet you.

Well that was all it took. She was very flattered and got all flustered at this point. She threw out "Thank You!" and then, as if she wasn't sure what to do, took a couple steps in the direction she was going and then stopped and took a step back to talk to me.

I just made fluff talk asking about her job and what not. The great part was how I was all cool and confident while she was clearly a bit nervous. She talked a little too fast and made slightly exaggerated hand gestures and head movements, signs of nervousness.

Now I'm just a regular guy and I was dressed in a t-shirt and slightly dirty jeans. And here was the Hottest Babe around acting as if she had just met the greatest stud in the world.

I've used that approach two other times recently and it had a similar effect on the women involved. From now on it's about the only approach I'm going to use all the time. It works great and it's easy to do!

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A Few Things I've Learned

You must have something going for you.

You must have at least one of the following: a solid hobby that challenges you physically and mentally, a musical talent that you enjoy, a good job, a good major in school that reflects your true life ambition, a super charismatic personality, etc. Something. If you are nothing, you will attract nothing.

All of these things must come from within you. It must be your core personality. You cannot have a certain hobby because you think it will attract girls. You do not choose a major in school because you think girls will be impressed. You do not affect an outgoing personality just to pick up girls. You must BE someone/something.

You must like yourself. You must like your own company. It should not matter to you very much if you are alone. You should be able to entertain yourself and be happy with your own pursuits.

At the same time that you are happy with being alone, to a small degree you should like the company of others. A man is supposed to be a bit of a loner but knows how to socialize.

The less emotions you show, the better. Always keep something in reserve. Always have a bit of mystery. Always be slightly unpredictable. With experience you'll learn how to be mysterious without being weird or unpredictable without being unstable or flighty.

You should not pursue women. If you have the mindset that you are pursuing women, or are trying to get into a particular woman's pants, you will lose.

Rather, you should have the attitude that a woman will be a drain on your life, she will be a lying cheating heartbreaking shrew, and she will lie, cheat and break your heart until proven otherwise. Note the word proven.

Women don't realize they lie. A woman can break up with you, be walking out the door with her new boyfriend, look you square in the eyes and say "I really do love you" and many men will not only believe her, but rest secure in the belief that she will come back to them.

Again, you should not pursue women. When she (whoever she is) finds you attractive, she will pursue you, yet a person cannot pursue something unless it is retreating. You must appear to retreat.

Advance very slightly, then retreat. When a woman sees you and likes what she sees, very often because you don't seem to notice her, she will find a way to meet you. She will find a way to talk to you. She will find a way to get into your life. A woman in today's society will pursue.

You should consider every woman you see as a potential, and take them all on casual dates. Do it by the rules.

Specific time/place/activity dates on weeknights. Kiss close by the second date. Be mysterious. Be a gentleman, spelled gentle-MAN. Learn the subtle tactic of making all the right moves, yet remaining emotionally flat. Have NO expectations. If a woman sees you, and likes what she sees, she will imagine being in a relationship/sex/marriage soon enough.

Experience is the best teacher. The only 'mistake' is one from which you learn nothing, but you must make those mistakes.

There are no shortcuts, you must pay your dues, you must make life mistakes. Fortunately you have this site and whatever 'method' you like to help you learn from those mistakes. But again, there are no real shortcuts, you must make mistakes.

You must make a fool of yourself at least once, perhaps more, in your life. You must have your heart seriously broken at least once in your life, perhaps more. You must date many women. You must date very many women. You must try to be smooth, you must try to be a 'player', you must try to get her to start the process of trying to catch you. If she doesn't, you must dump her and move on very quickly.

Most men in today's world, are chumps.

Hollywood movies, literature, art, the media, all will be working against you. If you do it correctly, your friends will call you a woman hater or say that you're too demanding. If you break it off with a woman because she's a self-centered b*tch, but she looks like Kylie Minogue, they'll say you're nuts. If you do it correctly women will initially seem to scorn you.

But if you do it correctly, women will have a little voice inside that piques their curiosity and find you irresistible in spite of themselves. And they'll pursue you. But they'll also test you relentlessly to see if yours is just an act.

Insecure men date beautiful women mainly to impress their friends. Insecure men want trophy women mainly to make themselves look better. Insecure men want to drive hot sports cars to impress their friends or to pick up chicks. Insecure men want swoopy motorcycles to impress their friends or pick up chicks.

Real men on the other hand, date women who are good companions, who really turn them on because they're interesting and attractive. Looks are very important, but not the most important.

Real men have sports cars because they enjoy tinkering with them on the weekends in addition to being fun with a woman. Real men have swoopy motorcycles because they belong to a motorcycle club, love working on them or race them in addition to occasionally giving a girl a joyride.

The best girl for you is one who could be called 'cute' with a decent body and generally happy personality -- and be open to her arriving in your life. Many guys are so intent looking for that fabulous diamond, they don't see the basket of pearls at their feet.

The healthiest mindset for you to have is that the prettier the girl, the worse she will be, only so that you will not be blinded when someone adorable but less glamorous comes along.

Occasionally you'll see geeky high school photos of people like Paris Hilton, or Tara Reid, and this should be an education to you. The most beautiful woman today could look like a toad tomorrow, and vice-versa.

If a girl ever "disses" you, call her on it immediately. Be tactful but let her know you've just heard or seen something that you dislike and it will not be tolerated. If she continues, dump her.

If you're driving in your car, pull over, and ask if she wants to get out now. Do not, under any circumstances tolerate dissing, games, put-downs or the like. If she's a b*tch and walks away because you called her on it, all the better for you. You're rid of her.

If she's just testing you, she might walk away, but she'll be back. In either case you must let her go and do not look back. If she leaves, good. If she does come back, she will have even more respect for you. Either way, stand up for yourself, and either way in the long run you win.

At all times, a woman must believe that you can walk away from the relationship and not look back. She must believe that you care for the relationship less than her.

If you are in a relationship right now and your woman thinks she's got you by the short curlies, you need to dump her and get a new girl. It is imperative to start out correctly otherwise it will never be in your favor. The one who cares less, has the most power. Always.

Going back to previous jobs or girlfriends is a losing proposition.

The girl of your dreams may not be the girl you dreamed of. "Love at first sight" is dangerous.

The girl of your dreams will pursue you and there will be no mistake about it, even if you at first seemed uninterested.

The right girl for you will soon prove easy to talk to. She will surprise you with how interested in you she really can be. It will gradually, very gradually dawn on you that you don't have to be on your best behavior all the time.

If all of this seems too much for you to remember, you're not there yet but take comfort in the fact that you are on the right track, you're visiting the right site, reading the correct material and are simply in the process. It is a process.

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Why You Should Touch Her

The common view of kino (note: kino = touching) is that you're giving the woman pleasure and that this arouses her and makes her attached to you.

That is certainly true, and we're lucky we live in a time when doing kino with a woman is considered acceptable as soon as you start getting to know her. In older times, guys like Casanova had to be extraordinarily seductive with their *words* just so they could get to the point where they could begin to use kino.

But the key thing to understand about kino is that when you initiate it with a chick whom you're just getting to know, is that it isn't merely an arousing stimulus, it also challenges the barriers between you.

The presence of those invisible barriers which you both maintain in your minds is really the key difference between being lovers and strangers.

Typical "nice guy" behavior is to respect those barriers too much and to never challenge them. That by definition maintains the barriers, leaving them in place.

Doesn't matter how well he gets to know the chick, if he leaves those barriers in place he will never be her lover -- THAT is why he ends up in the friend category. Because he actually reinforced the barriers instead of destroying them.

Anyway, the next level up from AFC is to realize that you have to crumble those barriers, so you work on them, but you're still leery about causing any anxiety, and still a bit nervous about challenging the barriers. So you look for excuses to touch, or you reach out and caress her but it has a slightly rushed quality because you're trying to mask some underlying nervousness.

Ultimately, where you want to get to is the point where you recognize that for a woman, the experience of having you challenging the barriers is not ONLY a source of anxiety for her, but is also a source of EXCITEMENT.

And the idea is to shift the balance so that she experiences more excitement than anxiety.

Ever see a baby fall down? Notice how they don't know whether to laugh it off or cry so they look to their parents to see the parents face? If the parent frowns with concern then the baby starts crying. If the parent smiles, the baby starts laughing.

Same with women. When you are entering new territory with a woman by challenging the "touch barriers" between you and her, then you have to do it calmly and confidently and that CAUSES her to experience it as exciting. If you do it nervously she'll experience it as something that isn't right and that makes her uncomfortable.

One of the best ways to show confidence is to do it slowly, instead of rushing it. Nervous people rush things to mask their nervousness.

Nervous people also look away, so you calmly make eye contact. And nervous people look serious, so be sure to smile a lot.

Nervous people also make their voice tense, so you make yours relaxed, and make your posture very open and relaxed rather than being closed and tense.

All these things will convey confidence causing her mind to interpret your touch as a source of excitement, rather than a source of anxiety.

The more you understand (and vicariously feel) the way your touch EXCITES her, the more you will naturally become confident about doing it.

Besides conveying confidence, the other thing you need to do with kino is to strike a balance so it is neither too challenging, nor too tame.

As you start slowly caressing her -- her hand or her arm or her waist or back, or maybe feeling her cheek or her hair with your hand -- the ideal to strive for is that you want to keep her gently balanced on the very edge of being too excited, so it is never too much for her to handle, nor so mild that it becomes tame.

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How to Be More Attractive

Okay, here's the deal: a girl will know if she would be willing to be with you or not within a minute or two of meeting you.

If that's the case, does it make more sense to work on your attraction ability, or on your seduction skills? I would have to say the former.

But what is being attractive? I used to think that an attractive person is someone who looked good. In fact, I always thought that I was an 8 or so looks wise, because I've had many girls tell me that I'm good looking, and many of my sister's friends tell her that she has a cute brother.

So you can imagine my surprise when I posted my picture on hotornot, and I got rated at a 4.3. I figured maybe the pic was not so good, so I tried a different picture. That one got a 7. I figured another picture is in order. That one got a 5. I tried half a dozen pictures, and I averaged in the 5 zone, which put me below average in looks.

It wasn't until a girl made a comment that I finally understood. A chick told me that I was very attractive. I thanked her and asked her what about me that made me very handsome. She replied that she did not say that I was handsome, but attractive. I just gave her a dumb look and asked her what is the difference.

A photograph if you will. Some handsome guys are attractive, and some are not. Being attractive on the other hand is part looks, part how you carry yourself, how you move through the world, your energy. In other words, charisma.

So here's the truth: a girl will decide if she wants you or not VERY quickly, and that is determined by how attractive you are. But being attractive has less to do with your looks than it does with your whole personality, your energy, your charisma. The bad news is that we can't do much with our physical looks. The good news is that we don't have to. We need only work on making ourselves more attractive, which is something we all have the ability to do.

Oh yeah, so if the girl puts you in the category of un-doable, does that mean there's no way to turn around the situation. There is, but it's a lot less work to be attractive right off the bat. And that way is not as simple as using a neg-hit, throwing around a few cocky and funny lines, telling her a cool story, or hypnotizing her with a pattern.

You basically have to give her such a system shock that she has to completely reevaluate who you are.

Someone else whom I can't remember gave a very good analogy. I don't remember who he was, otherwise I would have given him credit, but think about this:

If you have a dog, and all of a sudden he learned how to sit on command, by himself, then you would be impressed, but you would still perceive him as a dog.

On the other hand, if you go outside your front door, and you see him smoking a cigar, talking on the cell phone, and surrounded by the entire Dallas Cowboy cheerleading squad, then you would have to completely reevaluate what you're seeing before you. He is no longer a dog.

Same thing with a chick. If she wasn't initially attracted to you, then the way to change her behavior is to completely shake up her. She proceeded to teach me that handsome is strictly physical looks, a photograph if you will. Some handsome guys are attractive, and some are not. Being attractive on the other hand is part looks, part how you carry yourself, how you move through the world, your energy. In other words, charisma.

So here's the truth: a girl will decide if she wants you or not VERY quickly, and that is determined by how attractive you are. But being attractive has less to do with your looks than it does with your whole personality, your energy, your charisma. The bad news is that we can't do much with our physical looks. The good news is that we don't have to. We need only work on making ourselves more attractive, which is something we all have the ability to do.

Oh yeah, so if the girl puts you in the category of un-doable, does that mean there's no way to turn around the situation. There is, but it's a lot less work to be attractive right off the bat. And that way is not as simple as using a neg-hit, throwing around a few cocky and funny lines, telling her a cool story, or hypnotizing her with a pattern.

You basically have to give her such a system shock that she has to completely reevaluate who you are.

Someone else whom I can't remember gave a very good analogy. I don't remember who he was, otherwise I would have given him credit, but think about this:

If you have a dog, and all of a sudden he learned how to sit on command, by himself, then you would be impressed, but you would still perceive him as a dog.

On the other hand, if you go outside your front door, and you see him smoking a cigar, talking on the cell phone, and surrounded by the entire Dallas Cowboy cheerleading squad, then you would have to completely reevaluate what you're seeing before you. He is no longer a dog.

Definition of who you are.

BOLDNESS IS MAGICAL!

My "system" is pretty simple.

1) Make the chicks feel good about themselves.

2) Be playful.

3) BE BOLD.

Boldness is truly magical. Having the guts to ask for what you want is immensely attractive, and you'll be surprised at how often you'll get it.

I remember hanging around with a large group of seduction students. I had gotten a chick to give me a kiss, and they were trying to figure out how I did it, asking me if I ran this pattern or set up an anchor, or blah blah blah. My answer? I asked her to give me a kiss.

They were dumbfounded that it was so simple.

The truth is that things are really that simple. We just overcomplicate them. Ask for what you want, expecting to get it, and not really caring if you don't. If you don't get it, be playfully persistent, and you oftentimes will.

And the really cool thing is that the bolder you are, the more comfortable the chick will be. You're basically showing her that you are a leader, and she can comfortably follow your lead. Don't doubt yourself, and tell (or show her) what you want... you'll often get it.

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