Monday

Daters Without Borders


There are more than 8 million people in the city of New York. Most are either too young, too old, too married or too incarcerated to date. The remaining 17 have weird hobbies, creepy hygiene and bad manners.

Plus you’ve already slept with them.

Time to look beyond the boroughs. And no, we’re not talking New Jersey. More and more New Yorkers are searching for love on European dating sites, living out fairy-tale fantasies of international romance.

“French men really treat you like a lady,” says Lillian, a 42-year-old Manhattan copy editor who signed up for Meetic.com, Europe’s largest dating site. “They wine you, they dine you, they make you feel like you’re the only one on the planet.”

Lillian describes the men she’s met on US-based dating sites as “sleazy,” and the real-life dating scene in New York as “nonexistent.”

“I go out here — and nothin’,” she says.

But on Meetic, she Skypes with a Parisian man from the site for an hour each day. This month they missed connections — she flew to France for vacation the same day he flew to NYC for business — yet Lillian managed to line up two dates with another Frenchman Meetic member while in Paris.

“I was talking to guys in Italy, France and Sweden all at once,” she brags.

Susan, a 22-year-old grad student, also struggled with dating locally, so she widened her eHarmony parameters.

“What are the odds that that perfect person is within a 25-mile radius of your home?” she asks.

Turns out her future husband was living 3,400 miles away in a tiny village with the population of 60. eHarmony matched her with Peter, a 30-year-old Slovakian living in England. After months of Webcam chats, Susan hopped the pond for a face-to-face.

“I was really, really nervous on the plane,” she remembers. “I don’t do this sort of thing! But he was that special.”

Peter proposed a few months later in a romantic English garden. They married last June near a lake in Aurora, NY, and he’s since moved here.

Even “Real Housewives of New York City” reality star Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen met through Matchmaker.com while living on different continents.

“I had already dated most of the guys I knew and wanted to date in New York,” says Alex.

Simon, meanwhile, was based in Sydney and posted a profile on the Australian section of the site. On a lark, he changed his location to New York during a work trip to the city.

“I wasn’t looking to find a New York woman and move here,” he insists.

Still, international love prevailed and they tied the knot in 2000.

“Expect it when you least expect it,” they say. In unison.

Mark Brooks, editor of OnlinePersonalsWatch.com, says international romance is a growing trend, due to singles’ increasing pickiness about potential life partners.

“The longer the shopping list, the further afield you should cast your net,” he advises.

A single New Yorker four years ago, he flew to Prague for a European online dating conference where he met — and fell for — a Czech woman. They married last April and now live in Malta with two daughters.

It’s not just New Yorkers who are searching overseas for love. Sarah Shaw, 45, describes the dating scene in LA as “a nightmare,” so a French friend made her register with Meetic, where she stumbled upon Pierre Dubois, a handsome French painter. They fell into a whirlwind “fantasy” romance and were married soon after. Pierre moved to California and they now have identical twin girls.

Sarah credits European men with being more open and less threatened by female success than American men. Plus there’s that foreign accent.

“You have to be willing to look under every rock,” she says. “In every country.”

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