Diversify your Dating portfolio

When you are out there dating, it’s easy to get caught in a rut and to continue to date the same kind of person again and again because it feels familiar and comfortable. However, sometimes playing it safe does not produce the results that you really want, results that will yield you the best person, the person with whom you can spend your life.

Similarly, when you are investing in your stock portfolio, you may choose to play it safe and stay in the same stocks for a long time, even if they aren’t performing that well because you know those stocks and they feel safe. Or you might have such a diversified portfolio that you never take the time to know very much about any one stock in particular. In investing just as in dating, a lot of people are not comfortable with the idea of changing their portfolio because the unknown is risky, even though it might produce stronger results in the long term.

So, how do you know if you should stick with what you know or take a risk and diversify? And if you do diversify, how should you go about doing it? Let me give you some advice on how to make that decision…

- Evaluate your current dating situation just like you would evaluate your current stock portfolio. If your portfolio has one stock in it, your significant other, you need to decide if it’s time to make a commitment, just to him or her or if it’s time to play the field, invest in some other stocks and see if those stocks yield better results for you.

- Think about your long term goals when it comes to having a relationship in the same way as you would when you are deciding how to invest. Are you looking for marriage or a long-term hold? Or are you looking to date a lot of people until you find the right person much like you would invest in a lot of stocks and see which one pops? Either approach is fine, but you need to be clear as to what you are actually looking to accomplish.

- Ask someone else to help you evaluate your dating circumstances just like you would find a trained advisor to help you evaluate your stock portfolio. Find someone who has an objective eye, but at the same time, knows your personal goals. Let him or her give you his or her opinion as to why you should maintain your portfolio as it is, or get out there and try to meet someone new.

- Educate yourself on what kind of people you could potentially date just like you would educate yourself on the kind of stocks in which you could invest. If you have always focused on blue chip stocks, perhaps it’s time to think about a small cap stock now, i.e., maybe it’s time to try dating someone different from your norm. Is the type of person you always choose working for you? Perhaps if you changed your type a bit, you would find a better connection.

- Be proactive about letting people know that you are trying to meet new people just like you would let people know if you are looking to invest in new stocks. Go to people in your life like your friends, family and colleagues as trusted confidants and let them suggest some new leads.

- If you already have a diversified portfolio and you are out there playing the field, spend some time evaluating each and every person you are currently dating just like you would evaluate every stock you have in your portfolio. Are you carrying any dead weight, meaning that “stock” is not performing for you at all and perhaps you are just wasting your time? Or is there any one stock that really outshines all the rest and perhaps it’s time to focus on him or her more exclusively?

- Think about who you are dating currently and why he or she is really in your life just like you would consider why stocks are in your portfolios. Are you staying with someone because you are scared to be alone or because you are scared of the unknown or are you staying with someone because he or she is the right one for you and you are just hesitating to make a full-blown commitment.

-Find different ways to meet new people just like you would find different ways to hear about new stocks. Perhaps you can accept an invitation to an event or party where there will be a different crowd just like maybe you would read different research materials to uncover something different in which to invest.

Dating In The Fast Lane

How To Make Online Dating As Fun As Shopping

The online dating world is littered with creeps, which makes finding that rare diamond-in-the-Internet-rough seem like more effort than it’s worth.

As a woman, navigating such treacherous e-waters can be especially tough, because (as we’ve said before!) for every nice guy hoping to find love online, there are at least 10 more looking for a quick lay or attempting to make ladies as uncomfortable as possible via email. It’s like the online dating Hunger Games, and the odds are NOT ever in our favor.

Until now.

A new website, CheckHimOut.com, just launched on May 7 with the goal of giving women more power in the online dating game. The site encourages ladies to make the first move; that is, rather than waiting for guys to contact them (as, let’s face it, most of us do), women must initiate the conversation.

Men, meanwhile, fill out their profiles and wait to be added to a woman’s “dating shopping bag” before any contact can be made.

The concept is sort of like shopping (which may be crossing some gender stereotype lines that we’re not super-comfortable with, but for now we’ll just go with it). The founders of CheckHimOut.com argue that women have been objectified “since the beginning of time” and that their website ultimately makes online dating safer and more secure for the fairer sex; heck, the “shopping” analogy likely even makes it more fun, too, right?

Men aren’t completely without control, however. If they are truly interested in a woman, they can bid to be placed higher in their search rankings or send a “crush” or virtual gift to get a gal’s attention. They must, of course, pay for these acts of affection, but a bit of extra cash (a.k.a. romance) is nothing when it means gaining the attention of the woman of your dreams, right boys? If the extra effort works, a woman will “bag” a man and contact can commence.

New Dating Site Matches You Based On Your Klout Score

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Dating in the District

Street noise fills the background as Sam Yagan speaks quickly into his cellphone. He has a knack for efficiency. He is a dating catalyst, a self-proclaimed “geeky math guy.” And last February, his dating website — OKCupid — logged 1.3 million unique visitors.

So when it came time to find out how to meet people, his name topped the list of people to call.

Most Washingtonians tend to be workaholics, transplants or some combination of the two. With a general population such as that, single people are put at a disadvantage when it comes to meeting a potential mate.

“D.C. is — by far — the most active [on OKCupid] on a per capita basis,” Yagan says. “Other cities don’t even come close.”

More than 10 percent of D.C.’s population are active users on the site, according to Yagan’s data, and 75 percent of those users are younger than 35.

Whether you want to take the tech route, or a more traditional avenue, there is one basic tenet to remember: “You can’t take it too seriously,” Yagan asserts. “People get so wound up about it.”

Rather than fearing rejection, accept that volume is key: The odds that the first person you meet is going to be the one for you is low, says Yagan, who earned a degree in mathematics and economics from Harvard, and later went on to receive an MBA from Stanford business school. “Half the battle is forcing yourself to go out and meet people.”

So, where are the best places to find other love-seekers in the District?

Whether it’s grabbing a post-work libation at Off the Record bar in the Hay Adams hotel, or plugging in your laptop at Tryst in Adams Morgan, places where solo people-watching is common lifts the burden of vulnerability and makes meeting people feel less forced.

At Tryst, a hodgepodge of couches, chairs and tables are scattered for maximum comfort. Free Wi-Fi lets you work (or surf on Facebook) while you enjoy a coffee, tea, snack or alcoholic beverage. Located on the often-hectic 18th Street in Adams Morgan, Tryst is an oasis.

Tia Scagliarnini, the front-of-the-house manager, wants the bar and cafe to be a relaxing place for people that is neither home, nor work, she said.

“We aim to foster a community, and make it a place where people are approachable.”

The clientele is diverse, she added: Students writing PhDs or master’s theses, book clubs, journalists, artists and businesspeople of all stripes. Tryst also has a happy hour seven days a week and live jazz on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday evenings.

“[Tryst] can be whatever you want it to be, really,” she said. “We’re always full of people, so you never have to feel alone or shady.”

But if you crave something a little more presidential, head down the rabbit hole to the basement of the Hay Adams hotel.

Within throwing distance of the White House, caricatures of Washington’s political culture can be seen in the din. A throwback to a D.C. of yesteryear, this classic bar is a place to be “seen and not heard,” said Andrew Welch, the food and beverage director of the Hay Adams hotel.

What does that mean, exactly?

“The name of the bar speaks for itself,” Welch said. Essentially, what happens at Off the Record stays off the record.

The downtown proximity to political, business and law offices brings in some big names, and Welch aims to maintain the quality experience for which the bar is known. The environment fosters relaxing conversation — the room is equipped with a fireplace — and a great specialty cocktail list is the cherry on top.

What happens once you set your sights on a hangout?

“You have to expand your search criteria,” explains OKCupid’s Yagan, whose site uses mathematical equations to determine matches, rather than psychology — which is the basis of other dating sites.

“We changed the way dating works,” he adds. Most people, he says, limit themselves to only seeking out individuals who fit in their predetermined notion of a perfect mate: one political affiliation, age range or other trait.

“People say things like, ‘Oh, I would never date someone four years younger than me.’ Really? Probably you would.”

At places that have an ambiance and culture all their own, striking up a conversation and asking for someone’s Twitter handle is easy. And you never know what might come of it.

Scagliarnini, the manager at Tryst, said she recently set up a reservation for a man on a Saturday night — which is always a no-no, because of how busy the cafe can be. But this was a special occasion: He had met his current girlfriend at random on a particular couch — and he wanted to propose on that same piece of thrift furniture on the same night two years later.

She said yes.

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