Saturday

Dating After A Break

After a significant relationship ends, or if you’ve been through a divorce, the idea of jumping back into the dating world can be overwhelming and intimidating. This is especially true if you are a single parent, or if you have been out of the dating game for a long time. Fortunately, there are many ways you can simplify your return to courtship and make a success out of your newfound singledom. These are the four things you need to know.

Take time to heal. Make sure that you are mentally and emotionally prepared to date again. This is one of the most important parts of dating after a split. The end of a marriage or long-term relationship can be quite traumatic, especially if children are involved and you were together for many years. You can get through this difficult time by talking to a therapist, relying on friends and family for support and taking each day as it comes. When you are ready to date again, you will know it!

Find your confidence. Divorce can do a number on a person’s self-esteem. You might blame yourself for a break-up, think that you are a failure, or obsessively wonder what you did wrong. Stop! Your heart is still reeling, and only time will help heal the happiness and confidence that you lost. Until then, fake it ’til you make it. Try a new haircut, get a facial, start working out again, or update your wardrobe. It might sound simple, but sometimes a little self-esteem boost can do wonders!

Get out there. You are not going to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right if you never leave the comfort and safety of your own living room. Make an effort to meet new people, and commit to dating at least twice per month. Ask your friends or family members if they know of any great single guys or gals, or try your hand at online dating. The more dates you go on, the more chances you will have to meet someone special. And even if the romantic connection isn’t there, you can still network, meet new friends, and just have fun!

Prepare the kids. If you are dating and you have kids, try to keep any prospective partners away from the house until you are certain he or she is a keeper. Have sleepovers at their house, or if they have kids too, rent a hotel room or save sleepovers for nights when the kids are away. You don’t want to confuse or hurt your children if the relationship doesn’t pan out. Once you both feel comfortable that the relationship is serious then you can bring your new mate around to meet the kids. Try to make it a fun activity, such as a picnic lunch at the park, or an afternoon at an amusement park.

Remember, love and romance are important parts of everyone’s life. Commit to making dating part of your life again, and enjoy the adventure and fun that comes along for the ride.

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Thursday

How Does an Online Dating Site Work?

Signing up

Online dating services depend upon its customers. In order for it to exist, they need people who want to meet other people for dating. To that end, they provide a service that makes connecting with strangers easier and safer than other "real life" ways such as blind dates or meeting in bars.

Signing up with an online dating service is pretty straightforward whether it's a free service or one with a subscriber fee. You will create a user name and provide information such as your email address and in some cases a credit card number to pay your monthly fee. Your email address is vital as this is how you will know if people want to contact you or if the site has information to share with you, so be sure you input the information correctly.

The user name you select is also important as this is how the site will identify you in your dating ad, so be sure it reflects something interesting about yourself and your passions.

Writing Your Profile

This is the most important step in the online dating site experience. Each person needs to complete a basic biography including information on your marital status, birth date and location. You'll also provide information on your hobbies and interests but will be expected to complete an essay that describes yourself and who you are looking for as well.

The dating site provides an easy template for you to complete and drop down menus for you to select common hobbies and pastimes.

A catchy headline and photo are also recommended to help you get traffic to your profile and get the daters clamoring for your attention.

The online dating site will post your ad and put your photo and information in its search areas so that people can see you. This helps you to meet people who share your interests and would be good matches for you.

Meeting New People

The final step in the process is meeting people. You will be notified via your dating account that daters want to meet you, or they email you through the site directly. The dating site automatically forwards "winks" and other greetings to your account so that you can decide if you want to connect with other people. You'll get a chance to reply to other people's emails and begin a conversation. The online dating service provides an anonymous way for you to make a love connection. Let it work for you.

Como Escolher o Online Dating Site certa para voc�

Tuesday

What Motivates a Woman to Snoop and How Can She Stop Snooping?

“Can you tell me what makes people snoop…if there are any certain personality factors or something? I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I can’t stop snooping through my boyfriends stuff! I figured out his password and looked at his MySpace and Facebook pages, and even checked his email and voicemail. I’m sure my snooping stems from some type of insecurity, but I can’t help wondering if it is something else.

He likes to look at porn a lot, but our sex life is good so I don’t know why it would bother me so bad. (Yeah, I’m a little jealous cuz those girls all look so pretty and sexy, but I don’t think I’m jealous enough to justify all this snooping, if it can be justified.)

Anyway, I don’t understand why I do it. I check constantly to see what he’s been looking at and when. I don’t think he’s cheating on me. It’s more like I just WANT to know, like I HAVE to know. And I’m positive this cannot be working to strengthen our relationship.

I drive myself crazy obsessing about it, but as soon as I look and find out what he’s been looking at and when, then I’m fine… a little upset at first, but at least the obsession will stop, at least temporarily and I can feel normal again for awhile. I know it’s not fair to snoop through what he does in his private time, but it seems like I just can’t help it.”

Signed,
Snooping Myself Into a Frenzy

I hate it when people tell me what they “can’t ” do. What they mean is they don’t want to stop, start, change — cheating, dealing with abusive relationships, loving someone that doesn’t love them back, enabling an addiction or a bum, or snooping. All it means is that you like things the way they are, no matter how sick or twisted they may be. Repeatedly saying what you “can’t ” do is merely an attempt to absolve yourself of responsibility for your actions,

Doesn’t fly here Missy!

You snoop because you want to. You snoop because there is a payoff. You snoop because it’s exciting and you get a rush of adrenalin from sneaking around doing something you know you shouldn’t be doing. You snoop to justify feeling bad about your relationship. You snoop because you enjoy torturing yourself and feeling pain. You snoop looking for trouble and soon enough, you are gonna find it.

Instead of snooping and making yourself insecure about your man’s porn habits and your fear that he is cheating, why not just get a new boyfriend?

Snooping indicates that you are struggling with deep seated feelings of insecurity, jealousy and self-doubt, as well as respect for privacy and boundaries of others. There is the possibility that your “spidey senses” are tingling for a reason you haven’t disclosed here, and that your suspicions are actually grounded in reality. Of course we have to consider that your paranoid snooping behaviors may be nothing but carryover baggage from a previous relationship where cheating was involved.

The other issue snooping women need to consider is what are you going to do if you actually find something that confirms your suspicions or causes you concern? You sure can’t tell him that you found the information you discovered by snooping through his things! Even though he knows he is guilty as charged, most men will turn the subsequent fight around and make it about you snooping instead of the dirt you discovered. And if he finds evidence you snooped, even though he didn’t do anything and you admit to having snooped, he’ll feel violated and know you don’t trust him. Most guys would also think you are some weird stalker psycho chick and probably dump you on the spot.

Why do you believe you need to put up with all this nonsense just to have this guy in your life? Who is he and what makes him so special? I mean dang, he is a porn freak, and porn freaks are NEVER truly available for the kind of intimacy and attention that women seek when they enter relationships.

Pornography addiction has NOTHING to do with you as an individual, or with the two of you enjoying a satisfying sex life. Internet porn addiction is a very serious issue destroying thousands of relationships and women’s concept of themselves as attractive and sexy right along with it. [Though I don’t understand WHY women internalize this crap and themselves as not being good enough; I would instead think that this guy is a weirdo pervert and dump him immediately, but that’s just me.]

The bottom line for you is this: if you don’t trust your man — for any reason — why are you with him?

Sit down and reflect back on the relationship you dreamed of having when you were a young girl. Does this relationship meet those standards? Do you truly feel the way you imagined you wanted to feel about your man? Come to grips with why you feel the need to snoop, and what it is motivating your fearful searching for “proof ” of wrongdoing by a man you claim to love and say that loves you.

Life is too short to be miserable and unhappy young lady. There are many single men out here looking for a great woman to love. There is no reason for you to settle for any guy that doesn’t provide you with 100% of the love, security and emotional intimacy you deserve to have.

Make A Baby - ganhar um carro

Sunday

Israeli Drive to Prevent Jewish Girls Dating Arabs

By Jonathan Cook

A local authority in Israel has announced that it is establishing a special team of youth counsellors and psychologists whose job it will be to identify young Jewish women who are dating Arab men and "rescue" them.

The move by the municipality of Petah Tikva, a city close to Tel Aviv, is the latest in a series of separate – and little discussed – initiatives from official bodies, rabbis, private organizations and groups of Israeli residents to try to prevent interracial dating and marriage.

In a related development, the Israeli media reported this month that residents of Pisgat Zeev, a large Jewish settlement in the midst of Palestinian neighborhoods in East Jerusalem, had formed a vigilante-style patrol to stop Arab men from mixing with local Jewish girls.

Hostility to intimate relationships developing across Israel's ethnic divide is shared by many Israeli Jews, who regard such behavior as a threat to the state's Jewishness. One of the few polls on the subject, in 2007, found that more than half of Israeli Jews believed intermarriage should be equated with "national treason".

Since the state's founding in 1948, analysts have noted, a series of legal and administrative measures have been taken by Israel to limit the possibilities of close links developing between Jewish and Arab citizens, the latter comprising a fifth of the population.

Largely segregated communities and separate education systems mean that there are few opportunities for young Arabs and Jews to become familiarized with each other. Even in the handful of "mixed cities", Arab residents are usually confined to separate neighborhoods.

In addition, civil marriage is banned in Israel, meaning that in the small number of cases where Jews and Arabs want to wed, they can do so only by leaving the country for a ceremony abroad. The marriage is recognized on the couple's return.

Dr Yuval Yonay, a sociologist at Haifa University, said the number of interracial marriages was "too small to be studied". "Separation between Jews and Arabs is so ingrained in Israeli society, it is surprising that anyone manages to escape these central controls."

The team in Petah Tikva, a Jewish city of 200,000 residents, was created in direct response to news that two Jewish girls, aged 17 and 19, were accompanying a group of young Arab men when they allegedly beat a Jewish man, Leonard Karp, to death last month on a Tel Aviv beach. The older girl was from Petah Tikva.

The girls' involvement with the Arab youths has revived general concern that a once-firm taboo against interracial dating is beginning to erode among some young people.

In sentiments widely shared, Mr Hakak, a spokesman for Petah Tikva municipality, said "Russian girls", young Jewish women whose parents arrived in Israel over the past two decades, since the former Soviet Union collapsed, were particularly vulnerable to the attention of Arab men.

Dr Yonay said Russian women were less closed to the idea of relationships with Arab men because they "did not undergo the religious and Zionist education" to which more established Israeli Jews were subject.

Mr Hakak said the municipality had created a hotline that parents and friends of the Jewish women could use to inform on them.

"We can't tell the girls what to do but we can send a psychologist to their home to offer them and their parents advice," he said.

Motti Zaft, the deputy mayor, told the Ynet website that the municipality was also cracking down on city homeowners who illegally subdivide apartments to rent them cheaply to single Arab men looking for work in the Tel Aviv area. He estimated that several hundred Arab men had moved into the city as a result.

Petah Tikva's hostility to Arab men mixing with local Jewish women is shared by other communities.

In Pisgat Zeev, a settlement of 40,000 Jews, some 35 Jewish men are reported to belong to a patrol known as "Fire for Judaism" that tries to stop interracial dating.

Unusually for a settlement, Pisgat Zeev has attracted a tiny but growing population of Arab families, both from East Jerusalem and from inside Israel. Because Pisgat Zeev sits within Jerusalem's municipal borders, Arabs with Israeli residency rights can live there as long as Jewish settlers are willing to rent to them.

One member, who identified himself as Moshe to the Jerusalem Post newspaper, said: "Our goal is to be in contact with these girls and try to explain to them the dangers of what they're getting themselves into. In the last 10 years, 60 girls from Pisgat Zeev have gone into [Palestinian] villages [in the West Bank]. And most of them aren't heard from after that."

He denied that violence or threats were used against Arab men.

Last year, the municipality of Kiryat Gat, a town of 50,000 Jews in southern Israel, launched a programme in schools to warn Jewish girls of the dangers of dating local Bedouin men. The girls were shown a video titled Sleeping with the Enemy, which describes mixed couples as an "unnatural phenomenon".

Haim Shalom, head of the municipality's welfare department, is filmed saying: "The girls, in their innocence, go with the exploitative Arab."

In 2004, posters sprang up all over the northern town of Safed warning Jewish women that dating Arab men would lead to "beatings, hard drugs, prostitution and crime".

Safed's chief rabbi, Shmuel Eliyahu, told a local newspaper that the "seducing" of Jewish girls was "another form of war" by Arab men.

Both Kiryat Gat and Safed's campaigns were supported by a religious organization called Yad L'achim, which runs an anti-assimilation team publicly dedicated to "saving" Jewish women.

According to its website, the organisation receives more than 100 calls a month about Jewish women living with Arab men, both in Israel and the West Bank. It launches "military-like rescues [of the women] from hostile Arab villages" in co-ordination with the police and army.

"The Jewish soul is a precious, all-too-rare resource, and we are not prepared to give up on even a single one," says the website.