Iranian to pay 124,000-rose dowry

An Iranian court has ordered a man to give his wife the 124,000 roses that he promised in her dowry, after she filed a complaint to claim it, reports say.

The woman said she was claiming the dowry because her "very stingy husband" would not even pay for a cup of coffee, according to the E'temad newspaper.

The court has seized the man's flat until he produces all of the roses.

Under Iranian law, a woman can claim her dowry, or mahr, at any time during a marriage or when getting divorced.

The gift becomes the property of the wife to do whatever she likes with.

It is required in order for the marriage contract and the marriage itself to be valid.

According to E'temad, the woman, identified as Hengameh, decided to claim her entire dowry of 124,000 red roses after 10 years of marriage to "punish her very stingy husband".

"Shortly after marriage, I realised that Shahin was very cheap," she told the newspaper. "He even refused to pay for my coffee if we went to a cafe or restaurant."

Shahin told the court he could only afford to give her five roses a day and complained that it was his wife's "billionaire friends who had put such ideas in her head".

But the judge rejected Shahin's pleas and ordered his $64,000 (£33,000) flat to be confiscated until he has bought them all.

A long-stemmed rose costs about $2 (£1.09) in the Iranian capital, Tehran.

It is common in Iran to offer gold coins or property as mahr. An Iranian man can end up in jail for dowry debts.

Disillusioned online daters turn to matchmakers

Online daters, disappointed by potential partners lying about their age, weight or marital status, are turning to professional matchmakers to find love.

Rather than risk taking pot luck online, chief executives, entertainers and politicians are among those paying thousands of dollars to matchmakers to discreetly "headhunt" and vet the perfect partner.

"In the old days you had your extended family, or in some societies an actual matchmaker, trying to find someone for you," said dating expert Mary Balfour.

"Nowadays people have a personal matchmaker in the same way they would have a personal trainer," she said at her Drawing Down the Moon agency in London's Adam and Eve Mews.

The stigma of online dating has waned since Internet dating sites sent thunderbolts flying in the world of romance and revolutionized the way people found partners.

Websites now abound for straight, gay, Jewish, Christian, disabled or millionaire daters, but figures show a large chunk of those looking for love in cyberspace are disillusioned.

"So many people have had nightmare experiences with people misrepresenting themselves," said Christie Nightingale, principal of New York-based Premier Match LLC.

Nightingale said about 80 percent of her clients had tried online dating before coming to her with horror stories.

The online dating industry is lucrative, reeling in about $500 million in the United States and about 160 million euros ($203 million) in Europe last year, said JupiterResearch.

A survey earlier this year by Pew Internet and American Life Project found that about 16 million Americans had used an online dating website.

But while 52 percent said they had mostly positive experiences, 29 percent reported negative experiences.

"A percentage of men I met online were absolute freaks. I don't think any of them were the mad axe man type, but if you'd met them anywhere else you wouldn't touch them with a barge pole," said London nursing manager Joanna Haworth, 36.

"Some might have used photos from three years ago when they were three stone lighter. One man spent all the time talking about his ex-wife. He was still desperately in love with her."

DON'T MENTION THE EX

Showing off an album full of wedding invitations from former clients, Balfour said her matchmaking service had taken off in the past year for clients willing to shell out up to 8,000 pounds ($15,000) in the hope of a "happy ending."

Her agency employs a team of women to scour social and business events for potential matches.

Nightingale hand outs a list of "do's and don'ts" to her clients before they head off for dates -- such as turn off your cell phone and don't talk about former partners.

Some top-end U.S. matchmakers -- who charge up to $25,000 -- also organize makeovers and relationship coaching for clients.

"In New York, London, Los Angeles, or Tokyo, where there's a lot more money and the demographic niche market is professional singles in their 30s and 40s, they really want an all inclusive, personalized service," said Lisa Clampitt, co-founder of the U.S.-based Matchmaking Institute that also trains matchmakers.

Disenchanted with online dating and keen to put as much effort into finding a partner as he did to his career, Los Angeles product designer Bill Conley signed up for relationship seminars at matchmaker Julie Ferman's Cupid's Coach agency.

"Los Angeles is the temple of the external appearance. Everyone does a good job of hiding themselves underneath a lot of gloss, expensive clothes and plastic surgery," said Conley.

"She matches you more on a personality level, it's not scientific, it's more of a traditional matchmaking role. I told her a lot about myself, the things that were important to me," he added.

A recent U.S. legal case highlighted the potential pitfalls of cyberspace dating.

In a first for the dating and relationship industry, U.S. online service True.com announced a landmark civil prosecution victory in October against a convicted felon and registered sex offender from California who misrepresented himself online.

"Almost universally people misrepresent themselves in online dating, you never know what you're getting. I found I was chatting with someone who ended up being in a cybercafe in Nigeria and tried to squeeze me for $300," said Conley, 42.

Copyright © 2006 Reuters Limited.

More seniors play dating game

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In wrong places, or right places, new Tribune dating team on quest to find Mr./Ms. Right

Local, single and looking for love: Meet the Tribune Dating Team.

Over the next several months the Tribune will be reporting about the good, the great and the sometimes heartbreaking experiences of the following Great Falls singles. Along the way we'll take a look at various dating issues, including dating in the world of technology, Malmstrom Air Force Base's impact on the local dating scene, long distance dating and more.
The Tribune did this once before and, though it wasn't always hugs and kisses, three of the four singles ended up lucky in love -- hopefully the forever kind.
read more

Online Dating - incontri faccia a faccia per la prima volta

Islamic Rules On Family And Relationships

Celibacy and castration are forbidden, as is marrying two sisters, or a woman and her aunt (paternal or maternal), whether he marries the aunt after marrying her niece or vice versa, for fear of breaking the ties of kinship.

It is forbidden to make deals in marriage, such as saying "Let me marry your daughter and I will give you my daughter or sister in marriage." Such reciprocal deals are a form of oppression and injustice, and haraam.

Islam forbids mut'ah (temporary marriage), which is a marriage contract for a period of time agreed by the two parties, at the end of which the marriage expires.

Islam forbids intercourse with a menstruating woman, until she has purified herself (by taking a bath after her period ends), and also forbids anal intercourse.

A man is forbidden to propose marriage to a woman when another man has already proposed to her, unless the other man withdraws his proposal or gives him permission.

It is forbidden to marry a previously-married woman without consulting her, or a virgin without seeking her permission.

It is forbidden to wish (a newly married couple) "Bi'l-rafaa' wa'l-baneen (a joyful life and many sons)," because this is the greeting of the people of Jaahiliyyah, who hated daughters.

The divorced woman is forbidden to conceal what Allah has created in her womb (if she is pregnant).

A husband and wife are forbidden to speak (to others) about the intimacies of married life.

It is forbidden to turn a woman against her husband or to take divorce lightly.

It is forbidden for a woman to ask for another's divorce, such as asking a man to divorce a woman so that she can marry him.

A wife is forbidden to spend her husband's money without his permission, or to keep away from his bed without good reason, because the angels will curse her if she does that.

A man is forbidden to marry his father's wife, or to have intercourse with a woman who is pregnant from another man.

It is forbidden for a man to practise azl (coitus interruptus) with his free wife without her permission. It is forbidden for a man to return home from a journey late at night and startle his family, unless he has previously notified them when he will arrive home.

A man is forbidden to take anything of his wife's mahr (dowry) without her consent, or to keep annoying his wife so that she will give up her wealth.

Islam forbids women to make a wanton display of themselves (tabarruj). It also forbids extreme forms of female circumcision.

Women are forbidden to admit anyone into their husband's home without his permission; his general permission is acceptable so long as they stay within the limits of shari'ah.

It is forbidden to separate a mother and child (in case of divorce); to let one's womenfolk behave foolishly (in an immoral fashion) and not say anything; to let one's gaze wander everywhere; and to follow an accidental glance with an intentional glance.

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