For many single parents, dating simply does not seem like an option. There are few enough hours in the day without finding time for first dates, and what if your new lover and your kids cannot stand each other? It may seem easier just not to bother.
But if you want to find love, do not put it off until the kids are grown. We all deserve genuine happiness; if romance is what you want, follow the dating advice in this article and start your quest to find it.
Where to Look
There is no denying that some people will be put off by you having children. They are not right for you, so do not waste your time trying to change their mind. You deserve someone who adores you, kids and all.
Single parents can look for love in all the usual places but if you do not have the time to go to bars or join evening classes, find a date online. Alongside the standard dating sites, several internet services now specialize in matchmaking for people with kids.
Sign your children up for some extra-curricular activities. Single parent families are increasingly common these days, so get chatting to the other moms and dads before and after the classes and you could find yourself enjoying coffee with that special, single someone.
Getting to know other single parents will be invaluable when you do start dating. Babysitters can be expensive, but new friends in a similar position will be happy to take turns giving one another a well deserved evening off.
Broaching the Subject
Your kids are a part of your life, so never try to hide them. The first time you talk to somebody new, casually drop your children into the conversation by mentioning something funny which your child said or did. You will be pleasantly surprised by how many people take this in their stride.
When it comes to dating, some parents choose to keep everything a secret from their children until the relationship is serious. Increasingly, however, parents are opting to be open with their kids. Do not introduce your children to everyone you meet, but do consider telling them you are going on dates – the more they are aware that you're meeting new people, the less threatened they will feel when you bring your partner home.
New Starts
Introduce your kids to your new partner slowly. Start with a relaxed trip to the park or an evening of watching movies together, but think carefully before asking your partner to stay the night. It may be unsettling for your kids to wake up and find a virtual stranger in their house so wait until they're more used to him or her.
Talk to your partner about your expectations. In the early days, the emphasis should be on becoming friendly with your kids, not on becoming their new parent. If you do not think it is appropriate for him or her to discipline them, say so.
Warn them to expect jealousy. Your kids are used to having you to themselves and may feel that it would be disloyal to their other parent to be too welcoming. Expect small children to become clingy and teenagers to be quite rude. With time and patience, it will improve.
Your kids are the center of your world, but you should never feel guilty about wanting a little more. Take all the dating advice you can get, keep the early days casual, but do get out and get dating again. Everyone needs affection, attention and adult conversation, so if you would like a little romance, do not let being a parent stop you.
