Dating Websites Get Inventive With Games

New York - Nearly two decades since the start of online dating, the match-making sites that launched millions of relationships are spicing things up with online games and going high tech and offline to produce more happy ever afters.

Games, apps and offline events are beginning to replace the ritual exchange of online messages, the basic tenet of online dating, and to blur the distinction between on-and-offline dating.

Match.com, which boasts more than 1.7 million paid subscribers, has taken cues from the $74bn global video gaming industry by creating short dual-player games to help people express themselves better online.

A game called Food Critic prompts members to answer food-related questions, while Romance Rip-Off is designed for two players to create a love story together. During the game players can instant message each other to discuss their answers, which Match.com believes promotes a more natural way of interacting.

“I don’t think there’s anything that’s quite like this,” said Mandy Ginsberg, the president of Match.com, which started in 1995.

Relationships

Online dating has come a long way in the past 20 years. More than 40% of online daters, nearly seven million adults, have dated people they met online, and 17% of them entered a long-term relationship or married their online partner, according to 2006 report by the Pew Research Centre.

Brian Schechter, co-founder and co-CEO of HowABoutWe, said his company has been going offline to play Cupid since it started in 2010.

“We were the originators of the offline dating ethos.”

Members of HowAboutWe post the type of dates they would like, such as a hike or a bike ride, and others respond. Schechter said nearly one million dates have been posted to HowAboutWe. The site’s focus is what sets it apart, he added.

“Traditional dating sites were never focused on facilitating in-world experiences, as much as helping people express their identity online,” Schechter said.

Other websites including OkCupid and Badoo are using smartphone apps so singles can discover if there are other members nearby whom they might like to meet.

Badoo, which has more than 150 million registered users worldwide, has a mobile app with a feature called People Nearby that allows users to see anyone on Badoo who is within a 4.8km vicinity.

Events

“We’re all about finding ways just to make it easy and non-intimidating to go out and meet new people,” said Louise Thompson, Badoo’s director of public relations. “It kind of adds that level of spontaneity that you don’t get on traditional dating sites.”

Match.com is also planning to launch local customised events for members to foster offline meetings. Groups invited to the events are matched by algorithms incorporating age, gender and interests.

The company plans to host 200 events per month across the US by September.

“I think we’re going to be the largest events company in the world, with the exception of maybe the Olympics,” Ginsberg said.

But not all dating websites are opting for meet-up apps and events.

eHarmony, which relies on an in-depth questionnaire about personality traits, said its method has been a success and cites the 542 marriages a day that it claims resulted from a meeting on its website.

“We know that it works very well,” said Jeremy Verba, eHarmony’s CEO, adding that offline eHarmony events would not work with the way does its compatibility matching.

“eHarmony is focused on getting our members to meaningful offline meetings with people who are deeply compatible,” Verba said. “We are not about creating large scale happy hours.”

Despite their different approaches the aim of all dating websites is the same - getting compatible people together, offline.

“Online dating is a funny kind of misnomer, because people don’t actually date online,” Ginsberg said.

That part, no matter how it’s facilitated, still happens in person.

Dating In The Fast Lane

Ola Zdzarska is busy preparing for her monthly speed-dating event in a bar located in Beijing’s entertainment hotspot of Sanlitun.

Twenty people from different countries and regions turn up to participate in 10 rounds of one-on-one conversations that last seven minutes. When time is up, the men exchange seats until each person has 10 mini-dates.

“I can tell whether there are sparks between the two talking people, and also who is bored,” says Zdzarska, looking at the 10 couples involved in intimate conversations.

Originally from Poland, the Beijing resident considers organizing speed-dating events over the past five years more as a hobby.

“I do speed-dating events once a month, and each time, more than 100 people sign up for this event,” she says. She reads through the applications and handpicks 20 or 30 people who she thinks will pair well together.

Zdzarska’s Fishbowl Events has become well-known not only among foreigners and Chinese twentysomethings in Beijing, but it has also attracted a Chinese online dating company.

Zdzarska, who is also a freelance journalist, reveals that one of China’s largest matchmaking websites, refusing to reveal which one, has approached her to talk about working together on a future project.

The company wants her to take charge of a speed-dating platform, using their Chinese clients and her expatriate sources under the Fishbowl name. But Zdzarska says she is still thinking about the opportunity because she doesn’t plan on expanding any time soon.

“I am glad that my work has been recognized by them, but Fishbowl Events is much more like my personal hobby, and I am not making money out of it anyway,” she says.

Her best friend, Allison Johnson, is also her business partner. But with Johnson away in the United States, all the event planning has been left to Zdzarska. She picks venues, selects the drinks and food, and personally answers e-mails from every candidate.

“Normally, there is first come, first serve rule. But I exchange e-mails with them (candidates) and get the basic information first to decide which ones should be selected,” she says.

She says a Chinese man once signed up for a speed-dating event, and through e-mail he expressed his desire to find an American girlfriend.

“American girl is a very broad range, and there could be Chinese-Americans, African-Americans, Korean-Americans and so on. So I asked him for specific criteria, and he answered that any American girl will do. Then I started to doubt whether he was really looking for an American girl or merely an American visa. I put him on the blacklist,” she says.

Zdzarska says apart from intention and English fluency, nationality and age are the two major concerns for her when choosing the right participants.

“I always try to balance the nationalities of the participants, so that there won’t be too many people with the same background that will bore others. And I always like to surprise the participants,” she says.

For the event in December, three of the 10 females were from the Chinese mainland, two from Taiwan, two from the US, two from the United Kingdom and one from Russia.

“Except for one man who is already 50, the participants this time are between 25 and 35, so that they have more common interests and topics,” she says.

Zdzarska says the Chinese speed-dating culture has been changing over the years, and the participants are becoming younger.

“Two years ago, the Chinese women who participated in Fishbowl Events were normally in their early 30s and were really looking for a serious relationship. But I see nowadays more younger Chinese women, between 25 and 28, signing up for the events just to meet friends,” she says.

Zhu Wenjing has worked as program manager at a multinational company in Beijing since September 2010. It was her first time to take part in speed-dating.

“Before I came to Beijing, I was abroad for many years, and I am used to the Western practice of making friends. Then I noticed the Fishbowl Events in Time Out Beijing magazine and decided to come,” she says.

Zhu says she is not looking for a serious relationship, but for new friends from different backgrounds.

Zdzarska says apart from Chinese women, Chinese men are also becoming more enthusiastic about taking part in speed-dating events with foreign women.

“The Chinese men coming to the events are normally between the ages of 25 and 40, and most of them used to live abroad or are American-born Chinese. But still, there are also Chinese guys who have never been abroad and come here looking for a wife,” Zdzarska says.

She says she sees an increase of courage and openness among Chinese men in recent years.

“Two to three years ago, most of my friends who have been involved in Sino-foreign relationships are Chinese women and foreign men,” she says.

But now, the situation is changing, and Chinese men now account for 40 percent of total registration at Fishbowl Events, Zdzarska says.

Different from some Chinese men’s direct intention of looking for a wife through speed-dating events, foreign men, on the other hand, consider the event a way to broaden their circle of friends.

Nad Chishitie is a UK-native web designer in Beijing who has taken part in two Fishbowl speed-dating events.

“I have never done anything like this back in the UK, because people there think this would be very embarrassing. But now, I think it’s a cool way to spend 150 yuan ($24, 18 euros), have a glass of wine and talk with 10 totally different females on a Sunday night,” he says.

Zdzarska hands out cards for participants to rate their mini-dates: “Let’s date”, “Coffee first then date”, “Stay friends” and “Not a match”. Within a few days, she sends e-mails letting the attendees know whether they have matches. If so, e-mail addresses are exchanged and it’s up to the participants to pursue a relationship.