How to Snag a Wall Street Man

Close your eyes and think of your dream partner. What’s he or she like? Do they have a great sense of humor? Are they kind? Maybe cute in a way that’s a little awkward and nonthreatening? Do they seem like they’d be a good parent? Haha, JK, guys. Everyone knows that what every woman wants is a Wall Street Banker. It doesn’t matter if he’s rude, dumb or unattractive. When it comes to dating men in finance, always be closing (unless you’re talking about your legs, in which case keep those puppies open because what else will make him want to stick around). Luckily for you, professional matchmaker Samantha Daniels has written up the helpful guide How to Date a Wall Street Man.

Here are some of the best bits:

3. While a Wall Street man tends to like a little bit of a challenge when it comes to dating, he still likes things to be convenient and easy for him. A lot of women think that if they play hard to get, they will land a Wall Street man. This is NOT the case. Yes, you should be confident and avoid being a pushover but, at the same time, you shouldn’t be difficult. You need to be accommodating or his schedule and time constraints or he will get frustrated and find another woman.

Make sure to be available when he wants you to be. It doesn’t matter if you have plans with your friends or you’ve had a long day at work (LOL, women at work) and all you want to do is watch Breaking Bad in your pajamas. Too bad! A Wall Street Man’s time is money and your time is scientifically worthless.

7. Don’t get upset if your Wall Street guy isn’t as romantic as you would like him to be. Men, by nature are never as romantic as women want them to be, but Wall Street men especially are very business-like and think practically not romantically. If you want him to be more romantic, you are probably going to have to lead the way, and teach him what you want.

They will also never kiss you on the mouth. That’s reserved for “special people only.”

9. When it comes to getting you a gift, a lot of Wall Street men are all about extravagance over thoughtfulness. If you are a decadent woman, this will work well for you, but if you are a woman who prefers a man to be thoughtful over spending lavishly on something you don’t really want, you might be disappointed. This does not mean that a Wall Street man can’t be thoughtful, many are. However, a lot of Wall Street men are so busy making lots of money, that when they think to buy you something, they don’t care about the cost as long as it’s easy to get for you.

This is actually great since I replaced my pussy with an ATM slot years ago. It’s super convenient.

The best part of Daniel’s guide is that it proves that all men in finance are exactly the same— none of them have personalities or desires outside of their work— which makes it so much easier for us to choose, though don’t get too carried away. Whether or not you date (and subsequently get married so you can inherit his precious gold) is ultimately up to him. If you think that making your own money is an alternative, you are an undesirable uggo who will die alone.

Go get ’em, ladies!

Dating Other Couples May Improve Your Romantic Relationship

Want to put the spark back in your romantic relationship? Start dating other couples, suggests a new study.

Romantic relationships often start out as enjoyable or even exciting, but sometimes may become routine and boring. A Wayne State University study has revealed that dating couples who integrate other couples into their social lives are more likely to have happy and satisfying romantic relationships.

Richard B. Slatcher, assistant professor of psychology in WSU’s College of Liberal Arts and Sciences and a resident of Birmingham, Mich., specializes in social and health psychology.

His recent research suggested that spending quality time with other couples might be an important way to improve long-term dating relationships.

His study investigated 60 dating couples in a controlled laboratory setting. The object was to better understand how friendships between couples are formed, and to learn how these friendships affected each couple’s romantic relationship.

Each couple was paired with another couple and given a set of questions to discuss as a group. Half of the groups were given high-disclosure questions intended to spark intense discussion, while the other half were given small-talk questions that focused on everyday, unemotional activities.

“In this study, we discovered that those couples who were placed in the “fast friends” group felt closer to the couples they interacted with, and were more likely actually to meet up with them again during the following month,” said Slatcher. “We also learned that these same couples felt that this friendship put a spark in their own relationships, and they felt much closer to their romantic partners.”

The couples in the high-disclosure group reported greater increases in positive feelings after the intense interaction. They also felt the interaction was more novel and that they learned new things about their romantic partner compared to couples in the small-talk group. In addition, one-third of the couples in the high-disclosure group contacted the other couple they met in the study, while none of the couples in the small-talk group initiated contact with the couple they had met.

“This study suggests that if your romantic relationship has a case of the doldrums, having fun with another couple may help make your own relationship more satisfying,” said Slatcher.

The study recently appeared in Personal Relationships.

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