Online Dating Makes And Breaks Relationships Study Finds

By Andrew Stern

(Reuters) - Half of American adults know someone who found love online, and while the Internet plays a more important role than before in starting relationships it is also a forum for cheating and lies that ends them, according to a survey released on Monday.

Released on the eve of Valentine’s Day, the survey of 1,000 people commissioned by marketing consultant Euro RSCG Worldwide found one in five said they have had a romantic or sexual relationship start online. Forty-nine percent knew someone whose relationship began that way.

Conversely, one-third of respondents surveyed earlier this month knew someone whose relationship ended because of online actions, and three-quarters believed strongly sexual communications conducted online outside of a relationship constituted cheating.

Online romance has evolved from the early days of flirting in a chat room or “cybersex” between strangers who had no intention of meeting in person.

“What people did online stayed online, for the most part,” Euro RSCG Chicago Group President Norm Yustin said. “Now our two worlds are blended, and the people we meet online and how we behave on social networks is affecting us at home and at work -- for good or bad.”

Deception is a constant online risk, and two university communications professors found in their research that 80 percent of the 78 profiles they sampled from matchmaking websites strayed from the truth to some extent.

The professors identified helpful clues as to who might be stretching, or shrinking, the truth about themselves: Liars tended to avoid the first-person pronoun “I” to distance themselves from their lies, they frequently employed negation such as “not boring” rather than “exciting,” and they kept their self-assessments brief.

“The less they write, the fewer untrue things they may have to remember and support later,” said Catalina Toma of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, who teamed with Jeffrey Hancock of Cornell University.

Weight was lied about most often, with women off by an average of 8.5 pounds (3.9 kg) and men by 1.5 pounds (0.7 kg). Half fudged their height and one in five lied about their age.

“Someday there may be software to tell you how likely it is that the cute person whose profile you’re looking at is lying to you, or even that someone is being deceptive in an e-mail,” Toma said. “But that may take a while.”

(Editing by Daniel Trotta)

Study says Republicans have the best sex, Democrats the most

A new study conducted by the dating site Match.com found that self-described single, conservative Republicans are more likely to achieve orgasm during sex than partisans of any other political persuasion.

Liberal Democrats were those least likely to experience fulfilling sexual intimacy, although they reportedly have more frequent sex than their conservative counterparts.

The “Single in America Study” polled 5,000 individuals and found that 53 percent of single conservative Republicans are likely to achieve orgasm during sex, compared with 40 percent of liberal Democrats.

However, conservative Republicans had less sex over the past 12 months than any other group polled in the survey. They were also the most likely to have never had sex.

The study was commissioned by match.com in conjunction with Dr. Laura Berman and biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher.

Some other interesting sociological findings from the study:

Liberal Democrats are more likely to seek out a partner with a sense of humor, a sense of independence, someone they consider their equal and someone who shares a comparable lifestyle.

Conversely, conservative Republicans make similarly reserved choices in their mates, opting for someone with a comparable background and political affiliation who is interested in marriage.

Attitudes about sexual activity also seemed to reflect the larger political stereotypes associated with each group. For example, Republicans were the most likely to report enjoying sex in a married relationship (40 percent). Democrats were the most likely to enjoy sex in a committed but unmarried relationship (48 percent) or living together (36 percent). And those free-wheeling libertarians are most likely to enjoy a “casual hook-up” (46 percent).

And while Republicans seem to change their preference for a political candidate each week, it’s Democrats (65 percent) and registered Libertarians (66 percent) who are willing to have a one-night stand, as opposed to 49 percent of Republican respondents.

The Virgins-Only Dating Website

By Amy Julia Becker

Fewer and fewer Americans are getting married. Those who do are, on average, waiting longer to wed than have previous generations. But according to Time’s “Who Needs Marriage? A Changing Institution,” women and men still want to meet and build relationships with each other, so marriage remains an ideal. Because of this, reports Stephanie Rosenblum in The New York Times, online dating sites of a remarkable variety have proliferated in recent years. Some are based purely on physical appearance, others focus on hobbies and interests, while others highlight education or the type of computer you use.

Wading into these crowded waters is WeWaited.com, a dating site exclusively for virgins. Only 30 percent of applicants to the site are admitted, and they gain access through a fee and a survey designed to assess their trustworthiness. The site’s founders admit that some virgins are left out due to the rigorous screening process, while some who lie about their sexual activity make it in. But, according to its homepage, WeWaited.com mostly achieves its goal: “to use virginity as a significant compatibility tool to bring people together.”

If movies like The 40-Year-Old Virgin and covers of Cosmopolitan weren’t enough, sociological data back up the fact that virginity before marriage is rare in the West. According to the Guttmacher Institute, 95 percent of Americans engage in premarital sex. So WeWaited.com offers a safe space for the small segment of the population who want to stay virgins until marriage. It enables partners who value their own virginity to pair up, and it affirms the desire to remain chaste before marriage.

The founders of the site, a husband and wife team who exchanged their “vows and their virginities” on their wedding day, believe virginity is something that goes beyond physical intercourse. They see it as physical, emotional, and spiritual, and believe waiting to exchange their “whole selves” until their wedding was a blessing.

WeWaited.com (formerly called YouandMeArePure.com) is not explicitly Christian, but its view of sex as something involving the whole person aligns with the Christian view. As Wheaton provost Stanton L. Jones writes in the January issue of Christianity Today, sex has meaning, and that meaning is derived from God’s intentions for sex, not from our intentions or desires. For Christians, sex is not a merely physical act, but one with implications for gender relationships, embodiment, procreation, personal fulfillment, and God’s glory. “God made sexual intercourse to create and sustain a permanent, one-flesh union in a male-female married couple,” Jones writes.

So on many levels, providing a space for virgins to meet one another is a good thing. It affirms a biblical perspective on the purpose of marriage as well as the significance and goodness of sex within marriage. And in spite of cultural norms and sociological data that suggest virginity is impossible, WeWaited.com provides proof that it is possible and desirable, if challenging, to remain a virgin into adulthood.

Despite its strengths, the site, and the idea of Christian virgins seeking only fellow virgins as partners, poses problems. First, by narrowing the pool of potential partners to virgins, Christians run the risk of making virginity — rather than a commitment to the gospel — the litmus test of a relationship. God cares about virginity. But, as Paul wrote, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Cor. 6:14). A shared love for Jesus matters even more than a pure sexual past when it comes to Christian relationships. Second, although Christians uphold an ethos that supports sexual relations exclusively within marriage, virginity should not become an idol. To eliminate the vast majority of the population — including a good majority of Christians — as potential marriage partners may well emphasize sexual purity at the expense of God’s power to forgive and redeem.

The Bible advocates sexual purity. Further, though, a number of passages demonstrate how Christians should respond to sexual activity outside of marriage. Jesus, for instance, refuses to condemn the woman caught in adultery (John 8). He chooses a Samaritan woman who is living with a man who is “not her husband” as one of the first evangelists (John 4). The text assumes that the women’s sexual activity will be different in the future because of their encounter with Jesus, and with God’s grace, God’s willing and undeserved forgiveness for their sin. “Go and leave your life of sin,” Jesus says.

Similarly, Paul often addresses congregations of new believers who engaged in sexual sin before their conversion. He instructs them with a message of forgiveness for the past and encouragement for new life in Christ in the future. And as Peter writes, “you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do — living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. . .” (1 Pet. 4:3). Contemporary Americans, including many Christians, have sex before marriage. In so doing, they bring harm to themselves and to others. But God’s grace has always been able to redeem sins of the past.

Christians should be concerned with sexual purity. And it is a relief for Christians to find a safe space that does not assume premarital promiscuity as the norm. Moreover, God’s ideal for marriage includes both partners entering a covenant as virgins who give of themselves — body, mind, and spirit — only to each other. WeWaited.com implies that virginity is crucial to compatibility. But the highest concern for Christians in dating, and ultimately marriage, is a relationship based on the love and grace of Jesus Christ, the one who forgives all sin, the one who calls us to forgive one another, the one who can make all things, and all people, new.

Hur till Land en rik man

Does Age Matter?

Dating an older man or woman certainly has its advantages. Often, someone older is more experienced, looking for fun, further along in life, more mature, or more stable. You might be thinking, “Yes! Finally, someone who is ready for the relationship I want and/or at my level.” But, are you sweet enough for a Sugar Daddy or courageous enough for a Cougar?

Cougar Time

According to an article on WebMD.com, older women may be on the prowl for a young stallion around the college age because of the difference in sexual peaks of men and women. A woman’s sexual prime is in her 30s—while men in their 30s are already on the decline. A man in his early twenties is the perfect match.

While the sexual chemistry is right, the Cougar may be leaving the den for more than just that one reason. Dating someone younger can make women feel younger. In an anecdotal recount about being a Cougar, women talk about dating younger men. Dating younger men allows women to be fearless flirters like they were in their teens and twenties.

Dating younger men allows women to be appreciated once again for their sex appeal, rather than their mom-appeal. Recall Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate, or Kim from “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” for example.Younger men, around college age, have a different set of priorities than those contemporary to the 30-plus crowd. Sex and fun seem to be the main priorities for the older woman, as they are not ready to settle into (or want to break from) the stagnant lifestyle of a husband and kids.

Establishing a real relationship with a Cougar could be difficult. If you are looking for long-term relationships and want a family to provide for later, you are in the wrong dating scene. If you are looking for a challenge, you are in the right game. Have fun and embrace the relationship as it is. You could learn a lot from the experienced and confident woman.

There is no age limit on fun, but always be aware of the rare chance the relationship could turn into more. Society casts women dating younger men negatively, so be ready for lots of scrutiny from your family and friends.

Sweet Sugar Daddies

Dating older men differs completely from Cougars. The familiar scenario in Hollywood is: a very young girl dating a very old man for his money or for fame. Each time I happen to watch the recent season of “The Girls Next Door,” I can’t help but label the girls as fame-whores, who are definitely not in the relationship for love.

But, I would say that the above scenario is the exception. Most college-age women who end up with older men are not looking for fortune or fame but for a real relationship with a man who is ready to commit.

Older men are more confident than younger guys. After being in several relationships over the years, and some who have even been through a divorce, they are tired of the dating game. They are upfront about their feelings, more approachable about serious relationship topics and perhaps even more willing to work through problems.

These attributes are refreshing to a woman who has suffered her dating peers and is ready for a relationship longer than a one night stand from the bar and maybe a couple of dates after. Older men offer security because of their experience.

When it comes to a relationship with an older man, age does prove a bit more important. Ten to 15 years is the maximum a relationship could really work when you are young. Consider if you are 20, he is 35. When you are 25, he is 40. Also, if you are seeking children in the relationship, the older the man, the less chance he may be willing to have children—or he might have some already! But, the older you get, the less age begins to matter, I believe, and it more what you share in common.

H?�chy Online Dating