How to Make a Great First Impression

I have come to realize that aside from having a solid foundation of confidence and charm, one has to make very sure to make an outstanding first impression. The first impression you make on a girl can have a major impact on the way she sees you from that point forward.

It seems that the first impression is like a "sample" of who you are. If your first impression (approach) is dull, predictable and boring. She will view you as such. If your approach is common, she will see you as just another guy wanting to get laid. If your approach is light-hearted, confident and funny, she will see you that way as well.

I know friends of mine who are very good-looking guys and are actually quite confident and fun to be around over all. But when they approach girls and establish that first impression, they often come across as being nervous and predictable. Something like:

"Oh, hi. Umm. I couldn't help but notice you from across the room. Do you think that I could have you number?"

They seem to think that once the girl gets to know them, and once they can get the girl on a date, that they can show these girls how confident and fun-loving they are. The sad part is, they never make it to the first date. Since the girls' initial impression of them was "dull, nervous, boring, predictable."

Obviously, we all know that first impressions are lasting ones, and are very, VERY important in the dating game. So it would make sense to actually rehearse and practice, and fabricate a great, no make that an iron-clad approach.

It's said that in business, making a killing doesn't have anything to do with the product you are selling, but how well you present (advertise) the product. You can have a great product (personality, body, etc), but if you can't advertise it properly, you're dead wherever you go.

After a first impression has been made, the imagination immediately begins to fabricate and build upon this initial impression. If it's a good first impression, a good image of you will be created in her mind.

Now, to the most important part. What constitutes the ideal approach?

Well, first off, we want a clear vision of what kind of man we want our Mrs. Perfect to see us as. Ideally, we would want her to know we were confident, smart, funny, and ambitious. Right?

And we can't rely on the first date to show her how confident and fun we are if we don't get that first date. Therefore, we have to take all these great qualities and package them into a neat "sample package," called the first impression. Which will start a chain reaction of great thoughts and feelings of attraction towards us.

I have spent an appreciable amount of time pondering this very thing. I have asked myself over and over how and what type of approach I was going to make when I see an attractive girl.

Here is what I have so far:

Let's say I'm at the gym for example. When I see a girl I am interested in I will do the following:

Step One

I will ensure that my posture is intact. Head high, shoulders slightly back and in proper alignment. I will walk with grace and confidence.

It's a fact that there are over 750,000 non-verbal signs we give off, which tell other people about who we are! Therefore, it becomes very, very important that she sees this. Don't overdo it and walk around like a machoman or anything, but make sure your movements and gestures are very calm, coordinated and sound.

Step Two

Mild eye contact. I will make some eye contact with "relaxed" eyes, not nervous, but calm, casual, brief eye contact (as I walk in her direction).

Step Three

In a calm and light-hearted voice, I will say the following: "Hi, I'm James. I haven't seen you around here before. You must be new to this gym (school, store, whatever)." When done in a calm and casual manner, this shows confidence.

Let her answer.

"I guess this means I'm going to have to invite you out for coffee. And if you don't drink coffee, too bad. You can watch me drink coffee, while I get to know you better. Deal?" This would show even more confidence and a sense of humor.

So far up to this point, she now sees you as being a funny, light-hearted, non-desperate and confident guy. Let's see, what else could we add to this.

After she says "Sure, why not," (which is very probable, since we haven't come on too strong and we have displayed some very attractive qualities) we could then proceed to ask for her phone number.

"Cool, what's you number? I've gotta run, but I'll drop you a line when I get some free time. Okay?"

This is very effective since you're not saying "I wonder if I could have your number" which seems insecure and desperate. You're putting her in a position where she would have a hard time telling you no.

It also makes you look "busy and not-so-available." It shows her that you have a life and that she IS NOT the priority. She's going to have to work her a$$ off for that! Furthermore, you're ending the convo which shows her who's in control.

Plus there's another hidden gem; you're also being unpredictable and mysterious since you haven't yet given her a time when you're going to call, or if you're going to call. This makes her wonder about you and your degree of interest in her.

So what's the sum total of this brief dialog. In a nutshell, it has portrayed you as being:

* Mysterious
* Fun and exiting
* Unpredictable
* In control
* Confident
* Charming
* Easy-going
* Calm and collected
* Assertive, initiative, and in demand

I'll lay out the approach again for easy reading. Essentially the goal is to come up with the perfect approach and make a great first impression. And to do this by saying as little as possible, but making what you say COUNT.

"Hi, I'm James. I haven't seen you around here before. You must be new to this gym (school, store, whatever)."

Let her answer.

"I guess this means I'm going to have to invite you out for coffee. And if you don't drink coffee, too bad. You can watch me drink coffee, while I get to know you better. Deal?" Smile. This would show even more confidence and a sense of humor.

Her: "Sure, why not."

You: "Cool, what's your number. I've gotta run, but I'll drop you a line when I get some free time. K?"

Calling Card For International Call Russia

How to Keep a Woman

Here is some advice on keeping a woman, courtesy of my friend Phil -- the best womanizer you or I will ever know!

He says you have to always hold something back, and always leave something up to her imagination to keep her curiosity alive. Most of us guys are pretty much the same, but women don't know that, and curiosity is one of your best weapons.

Another thing he said was that you have to make her miss you. Everyone here knows about scarcity and being unavailable, but in order for scarcity to be effective you have to be sure of one thing -- the time she does spend with you must be absolutely amazing, and without a doubt the best time she could have with anyone.

Now I'm not saying you have to take her to new places and show her new things. It does help, but it's not necessary. I can go to the mall with Phil and have the most awesome time ever. You need to be able to create an awesome, MEMORABLE experience with anyone, anywhere, especially when it really counts.

Also, she can NEVER be the first priority in your life. Always put her second to something, whether it be your family, career, friends, whatever. But leave a small piece of hope in her mind that she could become #1.

Plus, he says you have to make her put some work into hanging out with you in order for her to value you. Make her come and pick you up, make her spend some money on you, make her call and do you favors, etc. When she does things for you it will justify her own feelings for you and allow them to grow.

This is excellent advice no matter what stage of the relationship you are in.

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Online Dating: Don't Wait for a Sign of Interest

There are many, many women out there who won't give you any encouragement, even if they want you.
So if you wait around for HER to give you a sign of interest, you may miss a lot of opportunities.

Most girls won't open kino, for example. You have to go ahead and touch them first... really start to warm them up before they counter with their own touching. If you get that early-on, consider yourself lucky and take full advantage.

Unless a girl is REALLY taken with you, she probably won't put forth any effort to further the relationship. She'll make opportunities but YOU have to capitalize on them.

This is a natural TEST. Women offer openings, but unless they are extremely attracted they do not actively pursue. This is the female nature -- receptiveness.

The chump who has no self-confidence will sit and wait for a sign of interest and, not receiving any, will hem and haw and wait aimlessly until his self-doubt overcomes him and he walks away.

Or she'll glance over at him, but she won't smile and instead just looks the other way. He'll read that as disinterest and go mope in the corner.

Or he'll be on a date with a girl and put his arm around her but she won't react at all... she won't snuggle closer, won't look at him, acts like it didn't even happen. And he'll assume she's not interested in him physically and back off. For more online dating tips and dating technique.

But the truth is he NEVER GOT REJECTED. He rejected HIMSELF because he took her lack of reaction as disinterest.

This is what Gunwitch and others mean when they say, "Make the ho say no."

Remember... girls can't give go-ahead signs to just any guy, because if they did, they'd have EVERY guy out there wanting to bang them. And often they feel uncomfortable giving those signs even to the guys they WANT, because even THAT can be seen as "slutty", and they don't want to appear too interested all at once.

You ever been at a party or in a nightclub/bar and seen a guy just walk right up to a girl you were trying to work up the nerve to talk to... and start talking to her, putting his arm around her, etc, and she seemed to be unfazed by it... and chuckled to yourself about how the guy was an ass and was just being obnoxious and couldn't get any? Dating guide and dating online.

Then later that night you find her warming up to him, seeking HIM out, smiling, giving out her number, etc... and you wondered how she could POSSIBLY be taken in by his lame "routine"?

She was into him from the BEGINNING. During the proverbial "7 seconds", she had already decided that this guy made the first cut. From then on it was simply a test of his persistence, to see if he felt confident that he was the real deal or if he would be overtaken by his insecurities in response to her indifference and take off.

Too many guys make that first cut, but the hot girl he's talking to offers little in the way of encouragement. This is the "mirror-test". With no positive feedback, a man receives no indication of his self-worth from the woman, so he has to derive it for himself.

If he looks at himself and sees one who isn't worthy of the woman in front of him, then he will reject himself. He will wait for a sign of interest or encouragement and, receiving none, he will give up on a woman that he could have easily seduced. If he truly BELIEVES that he has what it takes to seduce the girl, he will persist until outright rejected.

This is what's "hard" about approaching, about revealing interest, and about escalating. This is what most guys have so much trouble with... taking control of their OWN lives when encouragement is not offered to them.

Do NOT ask, "Is she interested in me?" Find out.

Do NOT wait for a sign of interest. Assume she is interested.

Do NOT wait for the right moment. MAKE it.

If a lack of encouragement forces you to quit at something as simple as picking up a girl... what is she supposed to think you're going to do when REAL problems come up, when you go through the hardship of raising kids and providing for their well-being?

Act like you've got a pair. Don't rely on other people to create your self-esteem for you.

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Never Talk About the Process

Never talk about the "process."

If you've been studying at SoSuave.com, you've learned a lot of techniques to help you in attracting women. Never tell a woman "what" you're doing or "why" you're doing it. You want her to think that you're "naturally charismatic."

For example:

- Don't tell a woman that she must like you since she's looking into your eyes.

- Don't tell her that you never call the next day because it'll make you look desperate.

- Don't tell her that you're a confident man, and that women like confident men.

- Don't ask her why she keeps touching you. Or ask her why she was touching that other guy.

- Don't tell her that women loved to be listened to and have their thoughts paraphrased back to them.

- Don't tell her that physiological arousal can increase attraction between two people.

- etc.

When you talk about the "process" it loses its magic. The woman will become self-conscious, and you will come across as "scheming" rather than charming.

If you feel you must talk about the "process", then do it on the Don Juan Discussion Forum with others just like you.

But never with girls you're interested in.