Tuesday
Saturday
As Online Dating Sites Novelty Wears Off, Offline Dating Becomes More Profitable And Popular
Marketdata Enterprises Inc., a leading market research firm, has released a new 232-page report entitled: The U.S. Dating Services Market. The study presents in-depth status reports and analyses of independent matchmakers, dating Web sites, chains and franchises, radio datelines, print personal ads, and singles publications. The study estimates industry revenues, trends, and competitor profiles from 1991 to 2008 Forecast.
There are 90 million singles in America, and online personals Web sites such as Match.com, Yahoo! Personals and eHarmony have brought matchmaking into the mainstream since 2001. However, we are now seeing the first wave of divorces of people that found their soulmates online and consumers are not happy with the accuracy of online profiles. State lawmakers are not happy either. There are bills proposed or pending in IL, TX, FL and VA, to require dating services to state whether they perform background checks. This has become a controversial battle. The novelty of online dating has worn off and revenue growth for the 850+ websites operating has slowed drastically to only 4.5 percent last year, versus 47 percent in 2003.
"The introduction or dating services market is growing only 3.7 percent per year in the U.S., but not all segments of the market are faring equally well. The industry is basically self-regulated. This has turned into a global business, branching beyond the United States. The U.S. is still the largest market, but it's saturated and the untapped potential appears to be Europe, as well as ethnic and hobby-based niche markets.", according to Marketdata's Research Director, John LaRosa.
Major Findings:
1) Marketdata forecasts the total dating services market to grow at an average annual rate of 3.7% from 2005 to 2008, to $1.11 billion. Growth has slowed in the all-important dating websites segment, which represents 49% of the entire market. Most other segments are seeing flat or moderate gains.
2) It's estimated that 1,300 independent matchmakers operate nationwide (grossing $50,000 to $200,000 per year each). An additional 218 physical offices run by chains or franchises (Great Expectations, Together, The Right One) also compete. Added to this, there are literally thousands of dating websites, as well as singles magazines, and roughly 375 radio station datelines.
3) The latest U.S. Census survey reported that the "average" dating service establishment had 2002 receipts of $555,000, down from $887,000 in 1997.
4) Matchmakers, usually 1-person operations, have survived and prospered, despite fees than often reach $25,000+. They cater to high income male executives. More are entering this lucrative field. About 1,300 are estimated in the U.S. The "average" established matchmaker grosses about $200,000/year, but some make as much as $5 million.
5) Off-line dating services (franchises and chains, solo matchmakers, speed dating) in many cases are outperforming the dating websites. They have a lower cost to acquire a new customer, a higher lifetime customer value, and can offer in-person verification that dating websites cannot.
6) Very few dating Web sites are profitable and the cost of entry to build a "critical mass" and database of profiles is now estimated at $10 million.
7) Profit margins for "bricks & mortar" chains can run as high as 30 percent of sales, with little or no competition, and 19-22 percent with moderate competition. No doubt, margins are at least 30 percent for the one-person matchmakers not run out of a retail office because their overhead (especially advertising) is much lower. It's not unusual for a dating franchise to spend $5,000 per month on advertising, to bring in perhaps $15,000 in sales. By contrast, a single matchmaker may spend next to nothing, instead relying on word-of-mouth and personal networking.
(Source - Marketdata Enterprises Inc. Press Release at PRWEB.Com
Friday
Nigerian Scam Artists Target Dating Sites
Like a lot of the women on dating Web sites, Lynn divorcee Carol Cormier was looking for love.
What she found turned out to be too good to be true, and now she's on a mission to save other singles from being ensnared in a shockingly widespread online romance scam.
"The only thing I tell them is you opened up your heart and a jerk fell in," said Cormier, 57, who almost lost thousands to a Nigerian who used a phony model's photo to woo her and then tried to bilk her out of her savings.
Cormier says she's one of countless lonely hearts on sites like match.com and eharmony.com who have been taken in by a pretty face. She moderates a Yahoo.com member site for singles slammed by the scam.
The site has 4,500 members, said Barbara Sluppick, who lives in Missouri and started the online support group after she was almost taken in by the same Nigerian scheme that Cormier fell for.
"Every single one has scammers on them," she said. "It's very widespread - more than people know."
For years, people have been duped by e-mail and Internet flimflams that typically involve a man from Nigeria who claims he needs the recipient to wire him money or cash a check.
But this one is far worse, Sluppick said.
"This is dealing with a person's heart and person's emotions," she said. "The emotional devastation is even worse than the money loss. They join the dating sites thinking this is a good way to meet people."
Cathy Milhoan, an FBI spokeswoman, said the Nigerian rip-off is well-worn and has many faces.
"Every day we get complaints about the Nigerian scam in some form or another," she said.
The FBI encourages people to report any Internet scams online at www.ic3.gov, which tracks computer crime.
"A lot of time, people think they are the only one," Milhoan said. "The only way we are going to combat it and catch these guys is to report it."
The man who tried to curry Cormier's favor told her he owned a computer company, which took him to Nigeria, where he ended up in desperate need of money to leave the country. He asked her to set up a bank account for him in America.
That's when she got wise to him and called his bluff.
Cormier says she's learned to love again. She met a Kansas man on the Internet and has been dating him for six months. She talks to him every night and has met him once in person. "At least I know I can trust again."
BostonHerald.Com
The Extraordinary Impact of Respect
I bet you wondered at one time or another -- how is it that a woman brushes a guy's advances off, responds to his words or attention negatively and with a cynical smirk, while at other times she is totally into him.
The answer is in a somewhat simple yet extremely important term -- Respect.
SHE HAS TO HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOU IN ORDER TO DESIRE YOU AND RESPOND POSITIVELY TO YOU.
You can get that respect in two main ways:
1. Through a skill (what you do). 2. Through your personality (who you are).
Let me elaborate...
Have you wondered why women are attracted so much to bartenders. Is it because they are the hottest guys in a bar?
No! It's because they deserve the most respect in that bar. They demonstrate their skill -- they work and they are there for a valid reason. 99% percent of all other guys are just hanging out and looking "pretty" and have to resort to other means to be attractive.
What about artists or comedians? They, better than anyone, demonstrate their personalities to the entire world, and that's why women want them so badly.
On the other hand, go say something provocative to a female passer by. You are guaranteed to get a negative look and a harsh word in return... if you are lucky enough to not be ignored by her.
Why? It's simply because you didn't earn any respect and you showed a lack of respect for yourself by demonstrating that you didn't know how to approach her properly.
Here are a few real life examples of how the degree of respect you get changes the dynamics in a given situation.
If you approach a woman with a cheesy pick-up line, you show that you don't have the skill or personality that would entitle you to respect. You don't have the skill of a natural conversation, and you don't have the personality of desiring to be genuine and different from others.
On the other hand, if you say something casual and neutral in the woman's presence that is relevant to the situation, even without appearing as if you are coming on to her, she might just respond very favorably... because she respects you and... she respects the fact that you respect yourself.
If she is smart and socially astute, she also realizes how rare such guys are.
When on a date, if you are too pushy and forward, you come across as desperate for sex and affection. This demonstrates your lack of skill in getting women and lack of strength in keeping your pants up. Why would you get any respect for that?
Conversely, if you behave like a wimp, being passive, agreeing with everything she says and doing everything she wants in a supplicative manner - you will not be respected either and for obvious reasons.
Remember, if she respects you, she will be with you.
Don't take me wrong. I am not suggesting you should work on earning a woman's respect for a month before getting intimate with her. You can get the requisite respect in just a few moments.
Your genuinity, your ability to communicate with pride, and with a belief that what you do is right and actually is flattering to a woman in confidence and in a way which portrays creativity will earn you a great deal of respect in just minutes. This is partially because so few guys know how to do it.
I will go even further and suggest that your smile can get you much more respect than a grumpy, sad, depressed look. Your eye contact and approach will earn respect automatically regardless of what you say and what the outcome of your communication will be.
On the other hand, if you stare without doing anything, you earn progressively more disrespect as time goes by, communicating your hesitant, apprehensive nature and lack of skill (ability to initiate a contact) and lack of personality (confidence).
So, treat yourself with respect and women will notice -- after all, you are one of the few!
Sunday
How to Attract Women
Do not worry about your problems with women at all. Focus on maintaining a happy persona.
A girl that I work with is always ill-mannered, it makes her VERY unattractive. I always thought of her as an uglo, until one day where she was VERY happy and I noticed that she was kind of cute.
When I was in my best moods, I attracted the most women.
When I was looking for validation, I got rejected the hardest.
When I was the most arrogant, people started to put me down the most.
When I tried to act like the smartest, I said the dumbest things.
The times when the most good things happened to me, were the times when I was in a good mood to begin with.
The times when the worst things happened to me, were the times when I was in a poor mood.
What does this mean?
You must make your own happiness. From that, all will fall into place. If you depend on the world to do it for you, the happiness you have will be taken away.
Many of these tips and philosophies try to show you how to fake happiness and contentment. For example:
* Display Confidence *
Why not already be content with your life and where you are headed? Then, you have nothing to really worry about, and you are naturally confident.
* Smile and Make Eye Contact *
What reason do you have to NOT smile and look in the eyes of a person you find attractive? That is where you want to look isn't it?
* Don't Supplicate *
Why do you need to do ANYTHING for this person? Don't you do everything for yourself? Why deny them the same independence?
* Be Cocky and Funny *
Why would you be into self deprecating humor? Why wouldn't you be humorous? After all you are in a happy mood.
* Be Dominant *
Don't you have any idea what you want to do? Why wouldn't you step up and voice your opinion? Why step aside and let someone else control the situation? Don't you think you are worthy enough?
Of course, you can do all these things by puffing up your ego, but then (when you get rejected hard) you will realize that it is not the way to go. You must grow up: away with the ego, away with the insecurities, away with the over-analysis, away with the haughtiness, away with the arrogance, away with the rationalization.
Let not your cocky and funny attitude come from the thought of "all chicks want me." Let not your dominance come from "I am better then everyone else." Let not your confidence come from "she failed to recognize quality." Be a real man and take things as they are.
Don't try to impress people, don't try to seduce chicks, don't try to stay strong, dominant, confident, etc.
Just try to stay happy, and all else will follow.
And let no one cramp your style.
Saturday
What I've Learned About The Cold Approach
When you start out at this site, you read about all kinds of techniques and attitudes and you get excited. You start to walk around with a feeling of empowerment. You know a secret, you know how to get women.
But cold approaches are still scary.
When everyone starts, cold approaches are nerve racking -- you sweat, tremble, stumble over your words. How are you supposed to get a girl acting like this?
Keep reading and find out.
First of all, you need to accept the fact that you're not gonna be great at this when you start out. You will screw up.
But the payoff is sweet. Trust me, the embarrassments and screwups from your past will be something you look back on with great pride and they make great stories. You will be able to look back and laugh at yourself, and hopefully you are able to laugh at yourself now.
Let's talk about the attitude you should have. Bottom line, your attitude should be that of indifference. That's as far as I can go and be universally correct. I'm pretty laid back, I joke around and have fun with it. But no matter what style you have, or what your relationship goals are with the girl, indifference is key.
Here's a big one: When I started out, I didn't want the girl to know I was picking up on her when I started talking to her. I think I had mislead myself into thinking that if I let her know I was trying to pick her up, I would show too much interest and loose the edge. Or I would somehow offend her by trying to pick her up.
This attitude is a bigger problem than the nervousness, and was probably the biggest thing holding me back. Girls like to get hit on. Whether they diss you or not, they go home happy because they feel appreciated and sexy.
So when you talk to girls, don't try to hide the fact that you are attracted to them. They know what's going on, women are not stupid. Show them enough respect to be honest. Besides, who are you to hide your motive. You're a man, men like women. You like her, so don't be ashamed to show it.
The 3-second rule: I never used it when I started out. I wanted to get better at this cold approach thing and I knew I had to get out and practice to do it. So there was no need to for me to trick myself into moving in.
Ask yourself why you want to talk to her. When you find your answer (be it practice, to dance, to talk, to get a number, whatever it is) there should be nothing to stop you from moving in. And remind yourself this is gonna be fun.
This procedure takes place in your mind much faster than 3 seconds. After you have been doing this for a while you won't think -- if you see a girl you wanna talk to, you will just instinctively go talk to her.
How do I open and what do I talk about once I do open her?
As far as opening her goes, I usually just go with "how ya doin?", "hey", or "hi". But if I'm in a good mood, I'll use "Heeeeeey" jokingly. Have fun with it.
As far what to talk about, that's a tough one. I wouldn't know what to tell you, because I don't really remember what I talk about. That's a good thing.
You don't wanna walk in with a plan of what to say. Just let the conversation flow naturally. This was tough for me, but after screwing up enough all of a sudden I found I could have a convo with anyone for however long I wanted. Key point though: I didn't learn how to hold a convo from reading an article. I learned how by having conversations.
A few tips: while you are talking to her, ask her about herself, ask her if she's into what your ideal women is into. Allow her to show you who she is. The attitude you should have should be "Am I interested in her?"
Ok, here's something that will really let the girl know that you are interested in her: Eye Contact. This is even more important than kino.
This is where you will be able to let her know that you are interested. You could be talking about anything -- and eye contact sets the mood. When you start talking to her generally you want to have an "I'm interested, I'm listening" look in your eyes, this will build comfort and rapport.
Later on in the convo once you've built some trust and rapport, and you have allowed her to prove she's worth your time, start to look at her with "you know what I wanna do" eyes. You aren't trying to hide your interest remember. You are confident in your sexuality, and you go after what you want.
Kino for those that don't know is a fancy way to say touching someone. Kino was awkward for me at first, but I kept at it and it has become natural. I'm not gonna try and teach you kino through an article, it can't be done. The only way to learn is to do it until it's natural. One tip I can give though is not to pay attention to what your hands are doing, just let them do their thing.
Okay, so you've approached her, you're talking to her, good eye contact, kino, she seems interesting. How do you close?
Depends on your goal and situation. If you wanna get her number, then get it. It doesn't matter how you ask at this point. By now she wants to give it to you, so you don't have to demand it. But don't be shy about asking for it either. If you can handle intense eye contact I'm pretty sure you're not gonna have trouble getting a number.
Well there you have it. After reading all that I hope you're more educated on cold approaches. But I guarantee your not gonna get good at them by reading this or any other article. But armed with this info and driven by your goal of getting better at approaching, you are well on you way.
Now get out there and have some fun with it.
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