5 Sites for Spotting Singles

By Ki Mae Heussner

Traditional dating sites may help you plan a rendezvous for the future, but newer location-oriented services can tell you where potential dates might be right now.

Some are dedicated mobile dating platforms that use GPS technology to help you find potential matches in your immediate vicinity. Others use location information to show you where you’re more likely to find members of the sex you’re interested in. All give singles a high-tech way to plot a night out on the town.

Check out five sites below:

Ratio Finder

Using data from the location-based social network Foursquare, Ratio Finder maps out local businesses based on where men and women tend to congregate.

The site calculates Foursquare check-ins by gender and then visualizes the data on a map, currently only available in New York and San Francisco.

Want to know where you have the highest odds of finding the ladies or the gents? Ratio Finder displays a map of the city with dots of different sizes indicating places of interest. Pink dots refer to female check-ins, blue dots to male check-ins. The bigger the dot, the more popular the place is among members of that particular sex.

The New York map, for example, shows a giant pink dot over the rooftop garden cafe at the Metropolitan Musuem of Art, where it says there are 91 percent more females.

MeetMoi

If you want to meet other singles while you’re on the go, MeetMoi uses your phone to update your location information in real time and send you alerts when potential matches are nearby.

The service exists as an application for iPhones and Android phones and uses GPS technology to help users meet people while they’re out and about.

Users set up a profile with the service, indicating what they’re looking for in a date. When MeetMoi finds two nearby users with matching preferences, it sends each a message, opening the door for conversation.

If they want to meet up, they have an hour to take the next step. MeetMoi is free to join, but has a premium service for a monthly subscription fee.

Skout

Another popular mobile dating site, Skout lets users see nearby singles and reach out to the ones they want to meet. The company says its community includes about one million users and helps them connect with weekly emails on new singles in their area.

Skout also says its site is very careful about keeping its users safe. It doesn’t disclose the exact street addresses of its users, so the only way others can locate them precisely is if they willingly provide their locations.

Grindr

Billing itself as the “the go-to place for gay, bi, and curious guys to meet,” Grindr uses GPS technology to help users connect with other men in their area.

Users upload a picture and complete a profile and then use the service to see who’s nearby. Accessible via Apple mobile devices and BlackBerrys, the service says its the largest all-male location social network.

PinPointsX

And for those who are really looking for nothing more than a fling, PinPointsX uses mobile technology to give users what it calls a “Passion Map.”

The adult-oriented service says it’s the leading application for hookups and can lead users to a night of fantasy and sexual fulfillment.

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Dating With Science On Your Side

By Ian Kerner

Anyone who’s single and dating knows it’s a numbers game. All it takes is one person to set you on the path toward happily ever after - or to give you another dating nightmare story.

But how many dates do you have to go on to find “the one”? And how do you know for sure that once you do meet Mr. or Ms. Right, a more attractive, more compatible prospect won’t pop up right around the corner?

Science can help us streamline the process. Cognitive science all-stars Peter Todd, Ph.D., of Indiana University in Bloomington, and Geoffrey Miller, Ph.D., of the University of New Mexico, used advanced computer simulations to determine the best approach to find lasting love.

Todd and Miller applied a well-known system of hypothetical decision-making called the “secretary problem” to dating. In this situation, a person must pick the best secretary from a group of applicants who appear in random order, drawn from a pool whose quality is not known. Once rejected, applicants cannot be recalled. It’s all about moving forward and making smart choices.

Todd and Miller found that the solution to the secretary problem - and potentially your dating problem - requires sampling a certain proportion of people, remembering the best of them, and then picking the next person who is even better.

So, what’s the magic number? In the secretary problem, the ideal percentage for sampling is 37% of a pool of 100 applicants. That means it would make sense to initially sample 37 people, remember the best of the best, and then pick the next candidate who meets or exceeds that standard.

Now, in the real world of dating there are many, many more prospects than 100 (at last count, there were nearly 100 million singles if you count all ages) and for many of us, even dating just 37 people would be far too tiring. You also might be thinking, “Please! I’ve already dated hundreds of people. I don’t need to sample any more candidates. I’m sampled to death!”

Going back to their advanced computer simulations, Miller and Todd raised the number of potential candidates from 100 to 1,000 and proved, to the relief of singles everywhere, that a little bit of searching indeed goes a long way. According to their research, in a group of 1,000 potential mates, only 1 to 2 percent needs to be sampled.

But you do need to set your “aspiration level” - your ideal mate based on a realistic view of who’s available and whom you can attract - and date those people you consider to be in the top 25%. That means you shouldn’t set your expectations too unrealistically high or low.

In other words, you have to go on roughly 10 first dates, with mates who are within your aspiration level. If after 10 dates there’s someone you want to go back to and he or she is available, then go for it. But give yourself those 10 first dates.

Want some other tips to date with science on your side?

Think before you potentially hop into bed on the first date. According to a poll by the National Opinion Research Center, only 1.4% of married couples had sex within the first two days of meeting. The pursuit of sexual gratification plays heavily into the brain’s reward centers. The more we pursue something, the more we want it.

If you’re really attracted to him or her, go to a dimly lit place and stare into each other’s eyes. Researchers at Stony Brook University found that men and women who stared into each other’s eyes for more than four minutes said they felt unusually attracted to each other. And enlarged pupils are a sign that we like what we see, and a sexual cue to like us back. Dim lighting causes our pupils to widen.

At some point, lean in and take a deep breath. Liking someone’s natural scent is an indication of genetic compatibility.

Be sure to compliment your date. People tend to be most comfortable and to live up to the expectations we place on them. So if you tell dates, “You seem so smart and funny,” they will be smarter and funnier and you’ll see them at their best.

Don’t let your sense of your own attractiveness hold you back. In many studies, men pick women of average weight as their ideal mate as opposed to super-skinny women, and many women find short men who are confident to appear a few inches taller than they actually are.

I personally believe that dating and finding love should be like buying a piece of art - you need to be captivated by someone you want to take home and frame. Yet all too often, we’re walking around with our tiny frames trying to fit people into them. We’re looking for something or someone rather than really seeing. So dismantle the frame, take some risks and give yourself 10 first dates!

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Dating Commandments For Dudes

By The Frisky

When it comes to dating, there are some rules that should not ever be broken. Here are 10 dating commandments—for men!—that should be etched in stone.

Thou shalt not be late or cancel more than once.

If you can’t help but be late, send a text message or call as soon as possible to alert your date of your failure to be prompt. And if you must cancel—like, say, if you have mono or Freddie Mercury comes back from the dead for a one-night only concert to which you have a ticket (in which case, invite me)—reschedule immediately. To quote myself, rainchecks are bulls**t.

Thou shalt not itemize the bill.

If you’re set on being a modern man who prefers to go dutch, so be it—we most of us are cool with that—but divide it straight down the middle. Those who itemize based on who ate what—especially if that means they owe less—should be deeply ashamed. And also castrated.

Thou shalt not expect sex in exchange for paying the bill.

If you’re more traditional and opt to pay the full bill, do not expect your generosity to buy you any sexual favors. Seriously, not even a kiss. Besides, kisses/blowjobs/sex feel so much better when they’re given with natural enthusiasm, not because $50 was forked over for a mediocre piece of salmon and some stupidly named cocktails.

Thou shalt not get completely wasted.

Drinks can (and perhaps should!) be imbibed on a date, but watch the intake and avoid shots, unless you are in college and there’s a special on tequila and cans of Tecate. Loosen up with a couple beers or a glass of wine or two, but nursing rather than guzzling will ensure you keep your embarrassing alter ego, Senor Drunky McStumble-Puke, safely at bay.

Thou shalt not talk incessantly about your ex-girlfriend.

Doesn’t matter whether you’re calling her a complete bunny boiler or singing her praises—it’s weird. It’s one thing, if it comes up, to talk about when you last were in a serious relationship or how many years/months the longest one lasted. It is another thing, however, to share the entire Wuthering Heights-esque saga of your love story, starting with when you first laid eyes on her and ending with the day she went completely mental and poured sugar in your gas tank because she found out you cheated. Relive the memories with your man journal or therapist. Or, on second thought, move on already.

Thou shalt not name drop your Ivy League university more than once.

Nor the model of sports car you drive or the high-end brand of watch strapped around your wrist. We don’t care that when you graduated from Princeton—also Princeton grads, natch—or that your parents gifted you with a vintage Rolex, which was pretty cool, but not nearly as cool as the Porsche they gave you when you graduated from Harvard Law. We care much more that your fancy education bought you something interesting to say.

Thou shalt not be rude to waiters, cab drivers, or other service people deserving of mutual respect.

Angrily sending your plate back to the kitchen because your steak is cherry blossom pink instead of Thulian pink makes you look like a pretentious douche. Giving the cab driver a crappy tip because there was traffic makes us want to go home with him instead. We’d much rather date someone who is chill and relaxed when things don’t work out completely to their specifications rather than an adult baby who throws epic tantrums.

Thou shalt not discuss money.

Super broke? Just got a fat raise? About to come into a six figure inheritance? Parents worth $20 million? Need to get a roommate because money’s super tight right now? All of the above needs to be kept to yourself. Couples talk about money. We’re not a couple yet.

Thou shalt not be dismissive of her opinions.

One of the best perks about dating is getting to learn another person’s perspective—on the world, on politics, on pop culture, whatever. Make the most of that. Listen! Nodding your head and holding back an eye roll while she explains her beliefs on universal health care, only to seize the spotlight the minute she pauses in order to say, “Yeah, well, maybe you should just move to France,” is not listening. It’s dick. The Frisky: 7 Types Of Guys To Date in 2011

Thou shalt not refuse to wear a condom.

Ohhhh, condoms make your penis feel like it’s being strangled. You don’t have any diseases, you swear. You basically got, like, a master’s degree in the pullout method, huh? You’ve never gotten a chick pregnant! Congrats. Strap one on anyway, homie.

In The Dating Game, Speaking Styles Count

American researchers have found a new way to predict the success of a relationship -- compare the speaking style of a couple.

In a study of college students they found that couples whose language was in sync were almost four times more likely to want to see each other again than those who did not use similar language.

“We are able to predict this at higher rates than the people themselves,” said Professor James Pennebaker, of the University of Texas, who headed the research team.

The researchers, who reported their findings in the journal Psychological Science, focused on function words -- which are not nouns or verbs but the words that show how those words relate. For example: a, be, anything, that, will, him.

“Function words are highly social and they require social skills to use,” Pennebaker explained. “For example, if I’m talking about the article that’s coming out, and in a few minutes I make some reference to ’the article’, you and I both know what that article means.”

As part of the experiment, about 40 pairs of college students participated in four-minute speed dates and had their conversations recorded.

“We found that function words are a powerful reflection of somebody’s psychological state,” Pennebaker said. “You can tell when people are in the same state or are on the same page.”

A second part of the study examined the everyday instant message conversations between already dating couples over a 10-day period. The conversations were analyzed by a computer for words and conversational patterns.

Pennebaker said that researchers were once again able to fairly accurately predict which couples would continue dating.

They found that the speaking and writing styles couples use during interactions are a good indicator of whether or not a relationship will be successful.

“The higher their style matching scores, the more likely they were to still be dating later on,” Pennebaker said.

About 80 percent of the couples whose conversational styles were similar were still dating three months after the experiment, compared with just 54 percent of couples whose styles were markedly different.

Pennebaker said that the results were notable because they occur during everyday conversations, even though most people don’t notice.

“None of us pay attention to these words,” Pennebaker said. “What’s wonderful about this is we don’t really make that decision; it just comes out of our mouths.”

(Reporting by Bernd Debusmann Jr., editing by Patricia Reaney)

Social Gaming Meets Dating

The dating game has gotten more social with sites such as Zoosk incorporating Facebook-like features. But why not tap into one of the most popular aspects of Facebook — social games — to make dating more fun? That’s the idea of CupidsPlay, a new startup based in Bellevue, Wash. looking to leverage the power of games to bring potential matches together.

The site, which is officially launching Wednesday, is designed to use social games as a bridge to help singles break the ice. It’s an idea that’s still largely untapped, but it makes sense. Social games have a lot of engagement, are very viral and boast a good balance of genders, which is necessary for any dating site.

“If you look at the demographics of social games, it’s 54 percent female, 56 percent single and 74 percent said they’ve met new people in games,” said Founder and CEO Philip Yuen. “It’s really perfect for meeting new people.”

CupidsPlay is launching with about a dozen casual titles, including familiar genres like farming and restaurant-themed games. Users create profiles and identify the kind of people they’re looking for. As they play games, they publish their progress and requests for help, which other potential matches can see. A player can then choose to engage another person or help him or her out by buying them a virtual good.

Yuen said the goal is to enlist social and Flash game makers to build their games atop CupidsPlay, so CupidsPlay is making it easy for Facebook developers to port their games to the site. Developers can also run cross-platform titles on both Facebook and CupidsPlay. The attraction for developers is added distribution and the potential of making more money via sales of virtual goods. Yuen said the site will be free, but users will be able to buy virtual goods to help them progress in games or share as gifts for others. He expects members will not be shy about buying goods to help potential matches level up. CupidsPlay is not taking a cut of the virtual good sales yet though that could change in the future.

Yuen created CupidsPlay last year following three years at Amazon ( s amzn), which bought his mobile payment start-up TextPayMe. CupidsPlay closed half a million in seed funding two weeks ago from Clearstone Venture Partners and Yuen’s old boss, Amazon VP of Product Michael George. Yuen said the company will look to add more games, including more synchronous real-time titles instead of single-player social games as well as a video chat service. He said CupidsPlay will also eventually expand to mobile platforms as well.

The dating world is crowded with a lot of established players getting competition from more social and mobile-minded upstarts. We’re seeing more companies look at group-dating ideas to help bring people together. But with social gaming already a huge hit, it’s not a bad idea to integrate dating into the mix. Yuen said people still struggle to strike up conversations with other singles based on their dating profiles. Building conversations around games can be more fun and casual for gamers.

“When I look at profile and look at eye color and age and then have to think of something witty to say, it’s not very natural or effective,” said Yuen. “But when you want to talk to this girl or guy and they need help in leveling up, you can use that as a catalyst to start conversations.”

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Five Tips for Dating a Blogger

Bloggers are a rare breed, indeed. The die-hard blogger spends every waking (and sleeping) moment consumed with blogging, social media and metrics. Therefore, everything you’ve learned to-date about how to keep a man happy, like the old adage “the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”, has to be tossed out and it’s time to create a new arsenal. Understanding what makes a blogger tick will get you there, but first, take this little quiz to see how deep in you are.

Blogger Intensity Quiz:

Are the words page views, clicks, pickups and for the win used in high frequency?

Is his BlackBerry in hand, or very close by, at all times?

Is he able to post a picture to Facebook, or send a Tweet, before you can even blink an eye?

Is he constantly thinking of story ideas and testing headlines out loud?

Does he break into hashtags at any moment?

If you answered yes to three or more questions, you’ve got a die-hard on your hands. Don’t panic. You don’t have to dive into the deep end of the blogosphere to survive live happily together but, immersing yourself just a little bit will go a long way. Here are five tricks for the new arsenal.

1. Speak the language: Consolidate your communication to 140 character sound bites. Men already have an upper limit on how many words they can absorb at any given time, a trait that is only heightened for someone who lives in a world of 140 character @replies, DM’s and status updates. It actually wouldn’t be the worst habit to get into, given our female tendency to wordiness, plus it’s good training for your own tweets. For maximum impact, launch with attention grabbing headlines. “The REAL TRUTH behind ...”, or “What you DIDN’T KNOW about ...”, have proven to be particularly effective.

2. Present things in lists: Lists are a very effective tool since the blogger lives and breathes by the Top 5 and Top 10 tips, ways, reasons, etc ... Trust me, he’ll melt the second you propose “The top 5 restaurant choices for dinner tonight”, or whisper “The Top 5 reasons I love you” in his ear.

3. Master social media messaging: If you really want to rock his world, ditch voice in favor of text and social media messaging. DM’s, @replies, Facebook messages and chat all rule above the phone. Bonus: simultaneously message him across multiple platforms, pay back will be sweet.

4. Respect the Mayorship: Do yourself a favor and let him be the first to check in on Foursquare when you’re out and about. Although he’ll say he wants you to check in first so you’ll show up in his twitter stream and people will see you together (<3 <3), the almighty mayorship is the holy grail, don’t deprive him.

5. Find Twitter religion: Twitter is by far the most sacred of the social media platforms for a blogger, so this is the place you’ll really want to jump in. Some easy rules: RT his stuff, don’t compete for first twitpic and, most importantly, familiarize yourself with the twitter lexicon, aka hashtags.

Adopting some blogger-esque tendencies will pay off in spades. First, he’s always easy to reach, which makes communication a breeze any time, anywhere. Second, it’s admittedly a lot of fun, particularly if you go all and out share pics and videos socially as well. Third, and most important of all, you’ll make your blogger very happy and I don’t have to translate what that means ... get creative!