Hook a Brother Up

We've all heard the expression "Hook aA Brother Up." And what better to hook a guy up with than a woman?

Every single guy on the planet has at least a few girls as friends. So in theory, the more guys you know, the more girls you should know.

Imagine you get a phone call from one of your buddies that goes something like this:

"Hey, bro, check it out. I was talking to my friend Stacy, you know, the hot blonde chick you liked in that picture I showed you? And since you're my boy, I was selling you big time and she was buying it.

"After I told her how you're a musician, a martial artist, and how you hate broccoli as much as she does, she's dying to meet you. Here's her number - I told her to keep Friday night open so you can set something up with her."

Holy Christ. Is this a friend or what?

Call me a Psych major, but let's analyze this a bit, shall we? Your friend just took care of at least 80% of the work for you - we've entirely bypassed the awkwardness of trying to establish eye contact and the potential rejection at a request for a dance/conversation/phone number, etc...

And not to mention, she already knows some stuff about you - stuff that will serve as a starting point in conversation. So now that your friend has eliminated most of the nerve-racking aspects of an initial male-female interaction, the rest should be smooth sailing.

As we all know, you're a great guy, and being with you is the best decision any girl could ever make - the only issue (until now, that is) was getting a girl to give you the time of day to prove this much to her.

Well now you've got her time - your good friend (who will be generously rewarded either in terms of alcohol the next time you're out together, or by returning the favor with a girl you're friends with) has already made sure of this.

Logically, it's much easier (mentally, emotionally and even financially) to learn that a woman is unavailable and/or uninterested from your friend than it is to come to this same conclusion after: getting shot down, being blown off/stood up, given a fake number, or getting milked by (Doc Love's coined-terms) a "mercenary" or "professional dater."

Womankind, allied with Cosmo magazine and female-biased love experts, has waged a war on man a long time ago - a war that we can win if we put our heads together and outsmart these simple, emotional creatures with our superior logic.

Read everything on the DJ site - if you're serious about improving yourself and your love life, then you can't go wrong.

And remember, the next time a female friend of yours is complaining/whining/crying to you about what a scumbag her boyfriend is, how she hates being alone, or how she can't find a good guy, open your mouth and utter something that sounds like this:

"Stephanie, have I ever told you about my friend Joe? No? Oh, he's great! You'd love him..."

Then talk your friend up the way he would do for you; whether you get this guy laid, a one time only date, or even just a phone number, he'll appreciate your effort more than you know and will be especially eager to reciprocate that same kindness.

The Friends Mentality

One thing that I've noticed about lots of guys coming here is that they are wondering how to turn themselves from losers into players. It doesn't work that way!
As everyone here knows all too well, the biggest distinction between players and losers lies within confidence/self-esteem.

I have this theory as to why some people tend to have problems approaching girls:

Sex is viewed like the Holy Grail, a passage into manhood, or the sense of achieving identity by some individuals.

If these people aren't getting any, their infatuation with sex becomes detrimental, lowering their confidence level at the constant thought of what they're not getting. As a result, talking to girls becomes difficult because the approach lies solely on the intent of getting laid.

These sex-craved individuals lose their composure, because their efforts strive toward achieving something they have yet to experience, or have trouble experiencing. This occurs due to the pressure they put on themselves to achieve their ideal goal of getting laid.

To make my point here: Instead of approaching girls with the intent to sex them, approach girls with the intention of just being friends.

Humans are social animals. We strive at building solid relationships with other individuals. How hard is it to make friends?

This strategy can achieve the following for you:

* The ability to just be yourself. No pressure here, folks!

* The ability to gain the confidence in just being yourself to approach girls.

* The experience obtained from approaching and talking to girls.

* The possibility that your "friend" would gladly step in to play matchmaker for you.

Dating and sex are complex in their own right, so they must be achieved in steps. Try passing Linear Algebra without having taken any math classes in between arithmetic and Linear Algebra. You can't just jump.

When sex is the first thing you picture in your head when you first see a girl, it's inevitable your nerves will falter... if you approach her with the focus of such an outcome, especially if inexperienced.

Approaching girls as yourself with the hopes of becoming nothing more than friends, you will reflect genuinity, confidence, and friendly warmth -- traits girls look for in guys.

You may not hit it off with these girls, but the experience you get from it will truly make it easier to approach girls.

Relax, stop trying to act like someone you're not. Stop trying to manipulate and read or direct her actions, because all of these factor in on the lack of concentration you need to talk with confidence to girls.

Once you achieve the necessary confidence, that's when you can start worrying about the other factors.

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No More Mr. Nice Guy

Love is like the board game Monopoly. Certain rules must be followed, a little bit of luck is involved, and someone is always cheating. Most importantly, it is a game, and in order to win, you must play it and play it well.

Being a nice guy, I'm sure you feel a bit awkward playing games with the women you meet. It is not in your nature. You feel dishonest, disrespectful, and at times, down right mean. But these are the types of guys chicks dig, and if you plan on ever spending an evening at the hotel on Park Place, you had better start stealing money from the banker.

Sure every now and then you will get a lucky roll of the dice and land on free parking, but in order to be truly successful, one must develop a strategy. Listed below, you will find 10 behaviors nice guys can display in order to make themselves more appealing to the women they seek. Implement any or all of these behaviors into your everyday personality and watch the women flock to you like ants to a fallen Dorito. Be careful though; the results may be hazardous to your bedsprings.

1. The take away method.

Once a woman has gotten a taste of you, kindly excuse yourself. Always leave her wanting more of you. Here is a simple little tip. When you first meet her, pretend to forget her name. She will be dying to leave a lasting impression on you so you never forget her name again.

2. Flirt with other women and make sure she sees it.

Women want men who are wanted by other women. This is a fact. Women are very competitive and will see you as the ultimate prize if she is competing for your affection. Also, she will quickly realize the need to snatch you up before someone else does.

While using other women like this may seem cruel, never feel guilty. Trust me, you won't be giving it a second thought when the object of your desire is tearing off your shorts.

3. Confidence is key.

This is a no brainer. If you act like a loser, you will feel like a loser and in turn women will see you as a loser. You will never get laid this way. You will truly be a loser.

4. Be charming.

At social gatherings, and especially around her friends, become the center of attention. If she sees that other people like to be around you, she is likely to want to be around you also. She will want to see what all the fuss is about.

5. Shut the hell up.

People become more interesting the moment they close their mouths. And for women, half the fun is the challenge of figuring you out.

6. Avoid serious conversations at all costs.

Scott Weiland said it best. Conversations kill. Believe it or not, women are just as scared off by these conversations as men. Maybe even more so considering they don't expect men to be willing to talk about serious relationship stuff. Besides, they are always right anyway so why bother?

7. Intimidate her.

Always look her in the eye until she looks away first. This is the same technique experts use to train dogs to be obedient. This also turns women on. But hold back on showing her physical affection. The longer you make her wait, the more she will want it.

8. Do something wrong.

Anything that she will think is exciting, adventurous, and/or intriguing. Remember James Dean? Just imagine how much poon you would get if you were more like him.

9. Choose your friends over her.

This is one of my personal favorites. The whole time you are out with your friends, she will be out with her girlfriends telling them what a jerk you are. (Unless she's out cheating on you.) But when you finally do see her again, it will be like conjugal visit day at the county prison.

10. Never, ever I mean NEVER let her know how strongly you feel for her.

I don't care if you think God has sent her just for you and you want to marry her today, never let her know that. The minute she knows you have deep feelings for her, her challenge is over. She won. She got you and her fun is over.

I compare it to fishing. You sit all day with your bait in the water and when you finally catch a fish, what do you do? You throw it back in the water. Believe me, the minute she catches you hook, line, and sinker, it's back in the drink for you.

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How to Close the Sale 95% of the Time

Today I'm going to share with you the most successful and effective method I've found for "closing the sale" and getting that gorgeous girl to go out with you.

What I'm going to share with you is the "How To," not just the philosophy behind it. I kid you not, what I'm going to share with you is so POWERFUL, that it has only failed me twice in the last 6 years.

First though, here is the true story in how I discovered this secret...

All of my life, I have been involved in sales and marketing, and judging from results, I am good at what I do.

Back when I was 18 years old, I was at work doing what I normally do... working and trying to make a sale. Back then I was very confident, but unbelievably naive. (I actually went out on a date, and the girl was rubbing her legs and thighs all over mine while eating dinner, and I was wondering if she had an itch... unbelievable.)

Anyway, there was this 28-year-old, drop-dead gorgeous girl who normally worked in another city, and who was working for that day with us. All the guys were buzzing around her like flies around crap, and for that matter, so was I.

Evening was approaching, and I was getting hungry. I figured that she must be hungry also, since neither of us had had anything to eat for some while. So as I was talking with her, I told her, "I'm hungry, and I'm guessing so are you. Would you like to go to dinner, or would you like me to get us something to eat."

Since I was so naive, I really thought I was asking her to eat, not asking her on a date.

However, she took it to mean that I was asking her out (which I sure as hell wasn't going to argue with her about). Then she turned to me and said, "You know, I liked the way you asked me out. I don't think anyone has ever asked me that way before. Instead of asking whether or not I wanted to eat with you, you automatically assumed that I would and you gave me a choice of how I would like to do it."

Then I looked at her and said, "Hey, that's right!" Since she had been involved in sales longer than I have, she automatically noticed that I had utilized the number one rule that any sales or marketing person worth his weight in salt knows. And that is...

ASSUME THE SALE

One of the first things they teach you in sales (and which many people forget and extremely few apply to asking girls out) is that you should never ask a potential customer if he wants to buy the widget, but rather if he wants a blue widget or a red widget, a 4" widget or a 6" widget, etc.

Basically, as long as you don't ask him if he wants to buy a widget or not, he cannot decline to purchase -- you never gave him that option.

Anyway, I went out with that girl, and had a wonderful time. But the most important thing I got from that, was the lesson in the power of "Assuming the Sale."

So how do you apply that to your dating life?

Simple.

First you find a girl who is giving you the signals that she might be interested. You go to her and start talking about whatever you want. I'm not going to get into how to approach a girl here since it would be beyond the scope of this tip, plus there is plenty of advice at the site on that subject.

Now, the most important part of the whole process is the APPROACH, since that allows you to "put your foot in the door." However, other than the approach, and in some cases more important than the approach, is the CLOSE.

Here what the average non-DJ does: He finds the perfect girl, goes and talks to her (if he gets this far), and finally asks the girl if she wants to have dinner.

If you were to do this, which just about everyone does, then at that point you would have lost control of the situation. You have given her the option of dismissing you. Bad idea.

Instead, let's assume you've spoken with her. You've picked up on some positive vibes, and you think she might be interested. Don't ask her if she wants to have dinner. While being sincere, tell her, "I enjoyed our conversation. Why don't we continue it later on this week. Would you prefer to have lunch or dinner together?"

AND DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT THIS POINT.

This is important, as the first person to speak "loses," Even if it takes a full minute, just look straight at her confidently and sincerely, and preferably in her eyes until she answers. In 70% to 80% of the time, if you have read the signs right, she will choose one or the other.

Congratulations, you have a date.

Get her number and call her a couple of days later to make arrangements (and when you call her up on the phone, don't ask her, "So are we still on for lunch?" Instead say, "I look forward to our lunch. Would you like me to pick you up, or would you like to meet there." Or "Do you prefer Mexican or Chinese?" You get the hint.

If for some reason she starts making objections when you give her the option between lunch or dinner at the initial encounter, don't lose faith. Objections are the human way of saying "I'm interested, but not yet sold." That's okay, don't push it.

Just keep up with your conversation, showing her how cool of a guy you are, and when you feel the time is right ask her, "Let's go do something together in a few days. Do you enjoy bowling more or miniature golf? Bowling, then it's a date! Give me your phone number and I'll call you to finalize the plans."

As you may have noticed above, I didn't ask her for her phone number. I *told* her to give it to me. Respectfully yes, but I didn't ask. Why?

Simple, people are trained from school to follow directions. If you ask her for her phone number, then there is a chance she might still change her mind about bowling. But by politely telling her to give you her number, and by having the confidence to fully expect that she will give it to you, she will have no choice but to do just that.

As you can see, the principal of "Assuming the Sale" not only works when selling cars and stereos, but when asking girls out. In six year of using it, it has failed me only twice.

The biggest tip I can offer in using it though, is that you must have conviction in your eyes and in your tone of voice that she will accept one of your two choices. As the saying goes, "He who hesitates is lost."

Well, I hope you get as much benefit from this as I did. And if at first it doesn't work like expected... that's okay, just keep practicing... believe me, it's worth it.

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Can I Kiss You?

This little maneuver has become one of my favorite ways to really screw with a woman's head. Basically it goes like this:

You're out on a date and you can tell both of you had a good time and enjoyed each other's company. Now the evening (or afternoon or whatever) is drawing to a close and both of you are in that "goodbye kiss anticipation zone" that I'm sure everybody knows and dreads just as much as I do.

Finally you come to a stop in front of her door and, whether you end up walking her up from the driveway or just staying in the car, you ask her that Most Dreaded Question:

"Can I kiss you?"

To which she has two options for an answer. And if she actually did have a good time with you she will use the most favorable one. She'll smile coyly and say "Yes" softly, like only the ladies can.

Now you say this: "Alright then. I'll be sure to do that someday." Shake her hand or just smile and wink, but get on your way as soon as you can.

I guarantee that she'll be left standing there with her mouth hanging open wondering exactly what the hell just happened. And over the next few days she's going to really start itching for that kiss from you.

When she does see you again, the sheer anticipation of when, where, and how that kiss is going to happen will literally drive her nuts... because she knows you want to kiss her and that it is going to come sooner or later. But she can never know the answers to when, where, and how because you're never going to give her any clues. And you're going to act like nothing is up in the slightest. Pretend you forgot the incident even happened.

When you finally do decide to give her that smooch, just do it (but try to determine if she's in the mood for it; odds are she will be). UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO ASK AGAIN! You've already asked and she already said yes, remember? It'll be a damn good kiss, believe me.

This has always worked wonders for me.

I gave out that kiss to one girl after just running into her on the street and we ended up spending the rest of the day (and most of the next morning) together. With another one I was at an amusement park and the damn Ferris Wheel got jammed and we were stuck dangling in the air for fifteen minutes. I gave her a little peck and we basically ended up doing the grind up there until we started moving again.

And another girl actually tried wrestling that kiss out of me immediately after I pulled the "someday" line on her. Somehow I managed to get away from her. But when I kissed her on our second date at a red traffic light after leaving the restaurant, she told me to forget about the movie and come home with her.

There are more stories than that, but they all pretty much go the same.

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Are You Fun?

How do you choose your friends? Who do you choose to be around? Most likely these people are ones you perceive to be "fun".

Women are the same as us in this regard. They want a man that's fun to be around and they have a good time around.

I think about the time I was getting laid the most. I was a wild man in those days, always having a good time around women, partying it up every second I had, being the life of the party.

Consider the idiot who tears it up on the dance floor and can't dance worth a damn. This guy usually has women surrounding him. Why is this? Because he's fun! The guy knows how to have a good time and this is attractive to women.

Now, I realize you can cite many examples where the woman is with a total jerk who you wouldn't consider "fun" at all. But in some odd way she probably thinks he's really fun to be around.

I am reminded of my past relationships also, wherein if I got too serious with the girl, things would soon end. When the fun ends, the girl goes in my experience.

This tip by Eddie Money on the SoSuave Discussion Forum.