The Extraordinary Impact of Respect

I bet you wondered at one time or another -- how is it that a woman brushes a guy's advances off, responds to his words or attention negatively and with a cynical smirk, while at other times she is totally into him.

The answer is in a somewhat simple yet extremely important term -- Respect.

SHE HAS TO HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOU IN ORDER TO DESIRE YOU AND RESPOND POSITIVELY TO YOU.

You can get that respect in two main ways:

1. Through a skill (what you do). 2. Through your personality (who you are).

Let me elaborate...

Have you wondered why women are attracted so much to bartenders. Is it because they are the hottest guys in a bar?

No! It's because they deserve the most respect in that bar. They demonstrate their skill -- they work and they are there for a valid reason. 99% percent of all other guys are just hanging out and looking "pretty" and have to resort to other means to be attractive.

What about artists or comedians? They, better than anyone, demonstrate their personalities to the entire world, and that's why women want them so badly.

On the other hand, go say something provocative to a female passer by. You are guaranteed to get a negative look and a harsh word in return... if you are lucky enough to not be ignored by her.

Why? It's simply because you didn't earn any respect and you showed a lack of respect for yourself by demonstrating that you didn't know how to approach her properly.

Here are a few real life examples of how the degree of respect you get changes the dynamics in a given situation.

If you approach a woman with a cheesy pick-up line, you show that you don't have the skill or personality that would entitle you to respect. You don't have the skill of a natural conversation, and you don't have the personality of desiring to be genuine and different from others.

On the other hand, if you say something casual and neutral in the woman's presence that is relevant to the situation, even without appearing as if you are coming on to her, she might just respond very favorably... because she respects you and... she respects the fact that you respect yourself.

If she is smart and socially astute, she also realizes how rare such guys are.

When on a date, if you are too pushy and forward, you come across as desperate for sex and affection. This demonstrates your lack of skill in getting women and lack of strength in keeping your pants up. Why would you get any respect for that?

Conversely, if you behave like a wimp, being passive, agreeing with everything she says and doing everything she wants in a supplicative manner - you will not be respected either and for obvious reasons.

Remember, if she respects you, she will be with you.

Don't take me wrong. I am not suggesting you should work on earning a woman's respect for a month before getting intimate with her. You can get the requisite respect in just a few moments.

Your genuinity, your ability to communicate with pride, and with a belief that what you do is right and actually is flattering to a woman in confidence and in a way which portrays creativity will earn you a great deal of respect in just minutes. This is partially because so few guys know how to do it.

I will go even further and suggest that your smile can get you much more respect than a grumpy, sad, depressed look. Your eye contact and approach will earn respect automatically regardless of what you say and what the outcome of your communication will be.

On the other hand, if you stare without doing anything, you earn progressively more disrespect as time goes by, communicating your hesitant, apprehensive nature and lack of skill (ability to initiate a contact) and lack of personality (confidence).

So, treat yourself with respect and women will notice -- after all, you are one of the few!

How to Attract Women

Do not worry about your problems with women at all. Focus on maintaining a happy persona.

A girl that I work with is always ill-mannered, it makes her VERY unattractive. I always thought of her as an uglo, until one day where she was VERY happy and I noticed that she was kind of cute.

When I was in my best moods, I attracted the most women.

When I was looking for validation, I got rejected the hardest.

When I was the most arrogant, people started to put me down the most.

When I tried to act like the smartest, I said the dumbest things.

The times when the most good things happened to me, were the times when I was in a good mood to begin with.

The times when the worst things happened to me, were the times when I was in a poor mood.

What does this mean?

You must make your own happiness. From that, all will fall into place. If you depend on the world to do it for you, the happiness you have will be taken away.

Many of these tips and philosophies try to show you how to fake happiness and contentment. For example:

* Display Confidence *

Why not already be content with your life and where you are headed? Then, you have nothing to really worry about, and you are naturally confident.

* Smile and Make Eye Contact *

What reason do you have to NOT smile and look in the eyes of a person you find attractive? That is where you want to look isn't it?

* Don't Supplicate *

Why do you need to do ANYTHING for this person? Don't you do everything for yourself? Why deny them the same independence?

* Be Cocky and Funny *

Why would you be into self deprecating humor? Why wouldn't you be humorous? After all you are in a happy mood.

* Be Dominant *

Don't you have any idea what you want to do? Why wouldn't you step up and voice your opinion? Why step aside and let someone else control the situation? Don't you think you are worthy enough?

Of course, you can do all these things by puffing up your ego, but then (when you get rejected hard) you will realize that it is not the way to go. You must grow up: away with the ego, away with the insecurities, away with the over-analysis, away with the haughtiness, away with the arrogance, away with the rationalization.

Let not your cocky and funny attitude come from the thought of "all chicks want me." Let not your dominance come from "I am better then everyone else." Let not your confidence come from "she failed to recognize quality." Be a real man and take things as they are.

Don't try to impress people, don't try to seduce chicks, don't try to stay strong, dominant, confident, etc.

Just try to stay happy, and all else will follow.

And let no one cramp your style.

What I've Learned About The Cold Approach

When you start out at this site, you read about all kinds of techniques and attitudes and you get excited. You start to walk around with a feeling of empowerment. You know a secret, you know how to get women.

But cold approaches are still scary.

When everyone starts, cold approaches are nerve racking -- you sweat, tremble, stumble over your words. How are you supposed to get a girl acting like this?

Keep reading and find out.

First of all, you need to accept the fact that you're not gonna be great at this when you start out. You will screw up.

But the payoff is sweet. Trust me, the embarrassments and screwups from your past will be something you look back on with great pride and they make great stories. You will be able to look back and laugh at yourself, and hopefully you are able to laugh at yourself now.

Let's talk about the attitude you should have. Bottom line, your attitude should be that of indifference. That's as far as I can go and be universally correct. I'm pretty laid back, I joke around and have fun with it. But no matter what style you have, or what your relationship goals are with the girl, indifference is key.

Here's a big one: When I started out, I didn't want the girl to know I was picking up on her when I started talking to her. I think I had mislead myself into thinking that if I let her know I was trying to pick her up, I would show too much interest and loose the edge. Or I would somehow offend her by trying to pick her up.

This attitude is a bigger problem than the nervousness, and was probably the biggest thing holding me back. Girls like to get hit on. Whether they diss you or not, they go home happy because they feel appreciated and sexy.

So when you talk to girls, don't try to hide the fact that you are attracted to them. They know what's going on, women are not stupid. Show them enough respect to be honest. Besides, who are you to hide your motive. You're a man, men like women. You like her, so don't be ashamed to show it.

The 3-second rule: I never used it when I started out. I wanted to get better at this cold approach thing and I knew I had to get out and practice to do it. So there was no need to for me to trick myself into moving in.

Ask yourself why you want to talk to her. When you find your answer (be it practice, to dance, to talk, to get a number, whatever it is) there should be nothing to stop you from moving in. And remind yourself this is gonna be fun.

This procedure takes place in your mind much faster than 3 seconds. After you have been doing this for a while you won't think -- if you see a girl you wanna talk to, you will just instinctively go talk to her.

How do I open and what do I talk about once I do open her?

As far as opening her goes, I usually just go with "how ya doin?", "hey", or "hi". But if I'm in a good mood, I'll use "Heeeeeey" jokingly. Have fun with it.

As far what to talk about, that's a tough one. I wouldn't know what to tell you, because I don't really remember what I talk about. That's a good thing.

You don't wanna walk in with a plan of what to say. Just let the conversation flow naturally. This was tough for me, but after screwing up enough all of a sudden I found I could have a convo with anyone for however long I wanted. Key point though: I didn't learn how to hold a convo from reading an article. I learned how by having conversations.

A few tips: while you are talking to her, ask her about herself, ask her if she's into what your ideal women is into. Allow her to show you who she is. The attitude you should have should be "Am I interested in her?"

Ok, here's something that will really let the girl know that you are interested in her: Eye Contact. This is even more important than kino.

This is where you will be able to let her know that you are interested. You could be talking about anything -- and eye contact sets the mood. When you start talking to her generally you want to have an "I'm interested, I'm listening" look in your eyes, this will build comfort and rapport.

Later on in the convo once you've built some trust and rapport, and you have allowed her to prove she's worth your time, start to look at her with "you know what I wanna do" eyes. You aren't trying to hide your interest remember. You are confident in your sexuality, and you go after what you want.

Kino for those that don't know is a fancy way to say touching someone. Kino was awkward for me at first, but I kept at it and it has become natural. I'm not gonna try and teach you kino through an article, it can't be done. The only way to learn is to do it until it's natural. One tip I can give though is not to pay attention to what your hands are doing, just let them do their thing.

Okay, so you've approached her, you're talking to her, good eye contact, kino, she seems interesting. How do you close?

Depends on your goal and situation. If you wanna get her number, then get it. It doesn't matter how you ask at this point. By now she wants to give it to you, so you don't have to demand it. But don't be shy about asking for it either. If you can handle intense eye contact I'm pretty sure you're not gonna have trouble getting a number.

Well there you have it. After reading all that I hope you're more educated on cold approaches. But I guarantee your not gonna get good at them by reading this or any other article. But armed with this info and driven by your goal of getting better at approaching, you are well on you way.

Now get out there and have some fun with it.

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Why You Shouldn't Be Intimidated by Attractive Women

It's not a secret that one of the biggest obstacles that men have toward approaching very attractive women is the fact that they are intimidated by them.
When a man hears that these women are just like all other women and that there is no reason to be intimidated by them, he might believe that and yet that argument alone will not eliminate his fear of approaching and meeting those women.

However, understanding the actual reasons why no man should be intimidated by a very beautiful woman proves to be a very effective way of eliminating that same feeling.

So, here are three major reasons why you should not be afraid of talking to beautiful women:

1. The obvious but often overlooked truth is that attractive women are NOT that rare or uncommon. Go to any club or a bar and you will find dozens of women who are extremely attractive and would easily qualify as models or actresses. So... beautiful women are not scarce. What is scarce are beautiful women with equally beautiful personalities.

2. Remember -- what intimidates you is not a woman's beauty but her attitude. A woman's snooty ways of carrying herself, avoiding eye contact, and walking with the head high up is what makes her come across as unfriendly, unhappy, and otherwise unapproachable.

3. If you have met a few beautiful women, then you know that the likelihood that their personality matches their beauty is extremely low. In fact, many if not most of these women are uninteresting, shallow, high maintenance and otherwise unworthy of spending time with. And this is true of both sexes.

Why is this important? Well, because one of the reasons that guys are intimidated by beautiful women is because they think that these women are godly creatures and they have godly, outstanding characters. But this is usually not the case.

4. Many guys believe that these beautiful women are "out of their league." This belief has no foundation in real life. It doesn't take long to look around and notice how many beautiful women date and have relationships with guys who are physically and otherwise mediocre. So... the "out of my league" argument is just an excuse not to take action, and one that you should abandon.

So, whenever you see a beautiful woman that you want to approach, remember the above points, be realistic and assume that she is not going to be all that interesting until and unless she proves otherwise. And this will eliminate much of your fear of approaching her.

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How to Fake a Good Smile

I tend to be a reserved person, and I've noticed that many times when I approach somebody (not necessarily picking up women) I don't smile as much as I should.

When you have a serious expression on your face people tend to stay away. It tells the world you don't want to be bothered right now. Some people may even interpret it as arrogance.

We all know what an important non-verbal cue smiling is when dealing with other people. In fact it's vital for any type of social success.

However, if you're shy, nervous, or simply having a stressful, busy day, it may be difficult to crack a smile.

Of course, you could always fake it. I've tried this with varying degrees of success. It's better than nothing, but there is no substitute for the real thing.

So how do you crack a genuine smile when you really aren't feeling all that cheerful?

Simple: think of something hilarious when you make your approach.

I've tried this technique several times over the last few months. I always use it when I'm busy and stressed out over midterms or finals, and yes, IT WORKS.

Today, while dealing with a cute receptionist at my university, a Dave Chappelle joke came to mind, and I couldn't help but grin when I walked up to her desk. Flirting immediately ensued.

Had I not smiled, the dynamic of our exchange would have been completely different.

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31 Ways To Make A Girl Smile

1. Tell her she is beautiful

2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its Just for a second.

3. Hug her from behind

4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5. Wrestle with her :)

6. Don?t go hang out with your ex when she?s not with you, you might not relize how badly it Hurts her.

7. If youre talking to another girl, when you?re done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her?.let her know she?s yours and they aren?t.

8. Write her notes or call her just to say ?hi?

9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girlfriend.

10.Play with her hair.

11.Pick her up (she loves it)

12.Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesn?t like it

13.Make her laugh

14.Let her fall asleep in your arms.

15.If she?s mad at you, kiss her.

16.If you care about her, then TELL HER

17.Every guy should give their girl 3 things: a stuffed animal (she?ll hug it every time she goes to sleep), jewelry (she?ll treasure it forever), and one of his t-shirts (she?ll most likely wear it to bed) or sweatshirts sprayed with his cologne!! and flowers or something occasionally.

18.Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you?re alone.

19.Look her in the eyes and smile.

20.Hang out with her on weekends

21.Kiss her in the rain (girls love this)

22.Kiss her just for the heck of it

23.If your listening to music, let her listen too.

24.Remember her birthday and get her something, even ifnits simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. It means all the world to HER.

25.When she gives you a present on your birthday, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it, even if you don?t (it?ll make her happy.)

26.Always call her when you say you will, it may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her think you don?t care so call even if you can only talk for a minute. Girls don?t necessarily have to have hour long conversations every night but its nice for us to hear your voice even for a quick hello.

27.Give her wat she wants

28.Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.

29.Dont hug her friends or your friends that are girls cause she?ll feel left out.

30.Hang out with her whenever you are free

31.If u care about her? SHOW her!