Dating Tips For Men From Marty McFly

Make sure your wardrobe is timeless

By now Marty McFly’s puffy red vest, typically blue dungarees, Calvin Klein underwear, and rad Nike sneakers have become as embedded in our cultural fabric as the DeLorean itself. It’s an iconic outfit that is quintessential Americana; a true classic that made as much sense in 1955 as it did in 1985.

We can relate to a guy in blue jeans and sneakers, an outfit that can go from hunky to boy-next-door depending on the occasion. Remember, your sartorial choices say a lot about who you are; if you’re hopping from one trend to the next in an effort to impress women, it suggests that you’re unsure of yourself, fleeting and generally a poseur. So, for our dating tips for men from Marty McFly, we suggest that when you’re selecting an outfit, keep it simple, classic and timeless.

You only get one chance to make a first impression

More than just a part of our dating tips for men from Marty McFly, we can’t stress the importance of making a good first impression. It’s a rule that applies to all aspects of life — from job interviews to first dates, a first impression has the ability to color the way someone perceives you for the rest of your life. We’re certain there have been times that things didn’t always go as planned (i.e., your girlfriend’s parents didn’t like your “I’m banging your daughter T-shirt” and your new boss didn’t like your “I’m banging your daughter T-shirt,” etc.), but you’re not Marty McFly, whose ability to travel through time allowed him, and would theoretically allow you, to make multiple first impressions if you screw the first one up. This isn’t the movies and one shot is all you have, so make it count — unless, of course, you have a flux capacitor, which in that case go nuts.

Always stand up for yourself

Nobody calls Marty McFly chicken and gets away with it. Though some may perceive his refusal to back down from a challenge as a character flaw, we think it’s what makes Marty one of cinema’s all-time greatest heroes. The ladies love it too. When Marty stood up to Biff to defend his mother’s honor, she fell for him. Ditto goes for Marty’s dad, George. This is one of those dating tips for men that are as old as time. There’s nothing a woman likes more than a man who’s confident, self-assured and willing to stand up for himself. You may not always have to go to the same extremes that Marty did (if someone challenges you to a game of chicken, politely decline), but the next time there’s a hair in you chilled cucumber soup, don’t be afraid to return it. She’ll respect you for it — trust us.

Get a nice set of wheels

What do you call a man who thinks that women don’t like nice cars? A cyclist. What do you call a woman that says she doesn’t like nice cars? A liar. And yes, we made those up. Marty McFly understood the importance of a nice set of wheels, and they don’t get much nicer than the DeLorean, which was unlike anything the auto world had ever seen when it was released in the early ’80s. Though that’s the car that gets all the attention, the true apple of Marty’s eye was the Toyota 4x4 truck that he finally gets his hands on when he returns to 1985. Marty would be the first to tell you that there’s nothing like rolling up to a girl’s house in a shiny vehicle to boost your confidence, and your chances. Remember: When shopping for a car, a spacious backseat is crucial — for carrying your golf clubs, of course.

Develop a talent

When Marty McFly stepped on stage at the Enchantment Under The Sea dance, picked up a guitar, and tore through his version of “Johnny B. Goode” (including that unforgettable audience-silencing solo), he displayed a near prodigious skill level with the ax, usually associated with rock ’n’ roll’s all-time greats. Sure, his own band, The Pinheads, couldn’t even crack their high school’s Battle of The Bands competition, but Marty’s talent as a musician made him irresistible to his girlfriend, Jennifer. Looks, money and a sense of humor will get you far, but nothing gets the ladies going like a guy with talent. Take a girl for an expensive dinner, and you’re good. Bust out a ukulele after dessert and sing a Beatles song in Portuguese, and you’re golden.

Think about the future

If we were offered an opportunity to peer into our future, we’re not quite certain we’d accept. What if we had become a balding, noxious host of a right-wing chat show? Or even worse, fat? Would we be shocked into action or too depressed to go on? When Jennifer saw a 47-year-old Marty McFly mired in a dead-end job, a crumbling marriage and a victim of low self-esteem, she warned him and helped change their future together for the better. We will never have this opportunity (unless Google’s time travel division finally takes off), so it’s important to make wise decisions in the present. Nowhere is this more critical than in matters of the heart — so when picking a partner make sure you can envision yourself buying a house, having children and growing old with them. Unless you just want to have fun, and in that case make sure you wrap it up.

Be assertive

In one of the film’s most memorable scenes, Marty is giving his own father advice on how to pick up his mother to ensure that he is one day born. It sounds like a lot to wrap your head around, but it’s this kind of storytelling ingenuity that makes Back to the Future a modern classic. Marty tells George to just approach Lorraine and ask her out, say the first thing that comes to his mind — you know, tell her she’s beautiful (girls love that stuff). It’s simple, but good advice. Women like a man that’s assertive and goes after what he wants, not someone that sits idly watching opportunities pass him by. It’s also logical: If you don’t ask her out, you won’t go out with her. See how that works?

Werkloze Duitsers Go Speed Dating voor werkgelegenheid

Speed Dating for Geeks

By Brian Heater

“You know Ke$ha, right?” asks the woman with the plastic Freddie Krueger glove.

“Sure,” I answer, a bit baffled. Given the unlimited conversational topics presented by the jam-packed convention happening above our heads, I would never have guessed we’d broach the work of the “Tik Tok” singer so soon.

“There’s a song,” the woman explains, “Take It Off.” She recites the chorus, There’s a place downtown, Where the freaks all come around. It’s a hole in the wall. It’s a dirty free for all

The parallels between New York Comic-Con and that song are obvious, she says. First, the convention is downtown. (Actually, the Jacob K. Javits Center is not downtown, but I don’t correct her. No one likes a know-it-all.) The freaks part, she says, is inherent—the geeks, the dorks, the nerds (my words), all decked out in costumes and paraphernalia.

The “hole in the wall” part remains unclear. I’ve got a few theories, but given the fairly limited duration of our date, I keep them to myself.

Ultimately, it all adds up to that final line. New York Comic-Con, it seems, is a dirty free for all.

Of course, there’s nothing particularly “dirty” going on in room 1A20. The room is sterile and well-lit, with 40 folding chairs neatly organized. Once every three minutes, the men are instructed to stand up, take a step to their right, and start anew with the next available woman.

Emcee and self-styled geek standup Ryan Glitch runs a fairly well-oiled machine in a conference room so steeped in sexual awkwardness one could cut it with a light-saber replica. “They call me ‘Giganakin,’” Glitch announces before the session kicks off, “because I’m overweight, and my costume is Anakin.”

The statement isn’t entirely accurate. He’s a big guy, certainly—a self-proclaimed stereotypical showgoer (heavy, white, nerdy)—but there’s no Jedi paraphernalia on his large frame. We are first introduced to him outside, as he separates us into lines of male and female, forbidding pre-show inter-gender conversations, muttering the phrase “sausage-fest” several times, and generally lamenting the dearth of X chromosomes.

It is a concern, no doubt, shared by both lines, and Glitch and his scantily clad girlfriend begin the process of flagging down women.

Glitch announces reassuringly to the line of guys that he met his “lovely assistant” at a past event—C5, he tells me later, short for Celebration, a semi-annual Star Wars convention, the fifth of which was held this summer in Orlando. It was the first time Glitch’s one-man company, Lightning Fast Speed Dating, had taken part in such a show, and it was a rousing success, by most accounts.

When we first spot him downstairs at the Javits Center, however, he has traded his Jedi robes for sunglasses and a black T-shirt. It’s only after an assistant hands him a black leather jacket and fake plastic shotgun with a bright orange tip that he’s more than just a speed-dating host; he’s a cyborg sent from the future to facilitate nerd love, offer water bottles in exchange for Star Gate trivia, and crack jokes of questionable taste in mixed company.

Ours is the second of three such sessions held over the course of New York Comic-Con’s three days, and something about speed dating during the convention seems to have captured the imagination of the show’s attendees. The lines are long, and Glitch will ultimately turn people (mostly men) away before opening the doors. He counts off the women and an equal number of men, cutting off the line just before me.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” I ask.

“Am I in trouble?” the Terminator responds.

I tell him that I’m with the press. That I’m here to report on the event, undercover.

“Are you single?” he responds. I nod.

“Are you here just to report, or are you hoping to find somebody?”

“Well,” I answer, “you never know.”

It’s a good enough answer to get me through the door, to where a DJ is playing the Star Wars Cantina theme on the other side of the room. I grab a seat on a folding chair. The men are all instructed to grab a nametag, numbered one through 15. “No names, no locations,” Glitch instructs us. For the next hour, women refer to me as “Number 15.”

Now it’s the women’s turn to enter. “Girls, up against the wall,” Glitch says into the microphone, adding, for laughs, “and spread ’em.” A man with a bit of a gut, dressed as Snake Eyes from the G.I. Joe movie, stands next to them silently. He’s there for security reasons, we’re told.

Only now, with the women lined up against the wall facing us, is the contrast made painfully obvious. Not one of the 15 men seated is in costume. Nearly all of the women, however, are decked out, or, at the very least, have an accessory: a pair of goggles, a bright purple wig, the aforementioned pair of Freddie Krueger claws.

An odd contrast, to be sure, but one I’m thankful for when the timer sounds and a chorus of “hi”s echoes through the room. Starting a conversation from scratch 15 times in an hour is hard, even for the most social among us. But what could be a better icebreaker than a woman’s decision to don a prop from a 25-year-old horror movie, in an attempt to find love?

She just really, really likes Freddie Krueger, it turns out. Fair enough. We talk for a second about horror movies, once the topic of Ke$ha has been fully exhausted. They don’t scare her, she tells me, except for ones about elevators. “You know there’s a new one out about elevators?” I ask. She answers in the affirmative, though that one, she insists, didn’t scare her.

And like that, the three minutes are up. It’s time to move on.

The absurdity of the whole scenario is a frequent topic of conversation. “I’ve had some dates that I wished lasted three minutes,” I tell one of the women. It’s not a great joke, sure, but under the circumstances, it’ll do.

I fall back on my reporting background almost immediately, conducting these sessions like interviews. “So,” I ask one woman, uncertain where to start, “do you have any pets?” Eventually, I find myself falling into that inevitable first date trap, imagining what it might be like to spin a conversation into a relationship with one of these people.

All the standard dating factors play a role, of course—intelligence, wit, attractiveness—but now there’s a new, equally important category in play: subcultural compatibility. “What kind of geek are you?” a woman asks me early on. I hesitate for a moment and respond noncommittally, “Comics, I guess.” It’s not as popular an answer as I expected. On the female side, at least, anime fans have a healthy lead over fans of American comics. I mention Love & Rockets to one woman and am met with a blank stare.

Just ahead of me in the rotation is a writer from a popular comics blog, asking interview-style questions of each of the women, with two cameras trained on him at all times. His Batman questions seem to go over much better.

I discuss the merits of store-bought versus homemade with the woman in the Star Trek redshirt costume (she doesn’t seem to appreciate my joke about her dying off before the end of the Con). I choose my favorite New Mutants character for the lady in the Nightcrawler T-shirt (Warlock, for the record). With the woman dressed like an anime character I don’t recognize, it’s a frank discussion about the fan response to M. Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender adaptation (frankly, she’s shocked the director would even show his face at this convention).

The topic of Buffy comes up at least once. I respond, unwisely, by talking about The Wire. I discuss the works of Haruki Murakami with one woman and Hayao Miyazaki with another. One woman seems genuinely impressed by the fact that I’ve attended San Diego Comic-Con. Only once does the topic of what I do for a living come up.

And when it’s all over and the DJ has stopped spinning Lady Gaga, I still can’t see myself walking down the aisle to the Star Wars theme in the near future. I do, however, walk away with seven email addresses. So much for the dirty free for all.

M�nd er lykkeligere end kvinder, Forskning Shows

New Dating Site Offers $60K for Groupon Babies

Deal-hunting baby-makers, listen up! The wacky and incrementally expanding discount site Groupon has just launched a new dating service called Grouspawn, with an insane marketing ploy. If you can prove that you used a Groupon coupon on your first date, and that said date eventually resulted in a child, you could get a $60,000 grant for the little one’s college tuition.

Groupon CEO Andrew Mason announced the site and the grant opportunity at TechCrunch Disrupt yesterday. Grouspawn is intended to help singles (or, we guess, philanderers) find mates with whom to use their Groupon deals. Couples will be required to prove that they used a Groupon deal on their first date with evidence including “a photo taken with a newspaper with a date on it, testimonials, credit-card statements, blogs, etc.,” according to the site.

But what if people try to pass off an old baby as a Grouspawn? “Our crack team of nosy researchers will investigate if you have, in fact, gestated a true Grouspawn. This may include talking to friends and family, delving into your personal life, and taking samples of fluids you didn’t even know you had. By the time your spawn turns 18, college will cost a million dollars a second and will be located inside the moon, so it’s worth it.” We totally agree with that last part.

Grouspawn acknowledges that some sleazoids might try to have a child just for the cash, noting on the site that the money “is for your baby, and even though we probably won’t be able to tell if you use it for something else, it would be wrong” to bang for bucks. Still, under one current Grouspawn member’s profile (who may be 100-percent fake), a “perfect match” would include “somebody who will have a pretend baby with me so we can split the 60k prize.”

5 Jersey Shore Dating Tips

By Stephanie Castillo

Last Thursday, we and 5.3 million others welcomed back our favorite fist-pumpers—only this time they’re GTL’ing on the shores of Miami. If the premiere was but a slice of the upcoming guido cake, we’re bound to love this season even more than the last. There’s just something about the abnormally tan cast that keeps winning us over time and time again.

Rolling Stone recently sat down with the cast in a tell-all, bare-all interview that got us thinking: Can we take away some of their seemingly outlandish charm and make it work for us? Below, our favorites quotes from the cast that underscore why we fell for “Italy’s finest,” jam-packed full of insight that just might score us a date or two.

1. Send out good vibes like The Situation.

“I had so much confidence because of all the steps that I had done and where I’d come from. Maybe some of the other people were unsure about what was going on, but when they’d go to me, I was like, whoooooosh, and that was it.”

The only thing Mike “The Situation” wears better than aviators and muscle tees is confidence. And you know what? It’s so sexy. Having confidence let’s the people around you know you’re secure with yourself and comfortable in your own skin. It helps to attract the right kind of people—no grenades. When you love yourself, the better the chance someone else will, too. How To Date With Confidence

2. Snooki doesn’t get heated, and neither should you.

“I really don’t care what people have to say about me. As long as they’re talking about me... that’s a good thing.”

This goes hand-in-hand with being confident. No matter where you go, you’re bound to run in to someone who doesn’t accept you for who you are. But who cares? The only opinion that matters is your own. When you’re focused on other people, you’re not focused on yourself, and guys don’t want to have to constantly build you up. Then again, if a close friend of yours has something to say, like, “Lay off the jello shots before you get arrested for disorderly conduct,” or other seemingly good advice, then perhaps you should listen. It doesn’t have to inhibit you, but it’s worth listening to if the words come from someone who cares about you. 5 Ways To Stop Being A Needy Girlfriend

3. Find a beat like DJ Pauly D and stick to it.

“For me, I take DJ-ing very seriously, and I don’t ever want to cheapen that brand. I will not do a club appearance, I will not do a wing-eating contest, I will not do anything but DJ.”

Nicely said, Pauly D. When you find something you’re passionate about, don’t let it go. Pursue it wholeheartedly, and in its true nature, because that passion represents a piece of yourself. We all want someone with interests and goals. We also want someone we can depend on, and sticking to your guns is a sure-fire way to communicate you’re dependable.

4. Dress like Jenni and make the boys say “woww.”

“I always had the look. I probably had the look more back then than now. I’d just destroy my clothes: rip them and re-sew them and add accessories, go to Hot Topic and buy all my jewelry and stuff.”

Fashion at the Jersey Shore played its role in catching our hearts, too. Style, in general, does that—especially when you dress in a way that allows others to get a feel for who you are. Taking something and making it your own is bold. But regardless of whether you buy it or make it, there’s one thing we know guys love: and that’s seeing a women who obviously has put some thought into her outfit. Of course they like a little cleavage and tighter fitting jeans, but nothing says sexy more than a woman who knows how to dress to impress.

5. Embrace your blowout (or what have you) like Vinny.

“They asked me at the first interview, ’So, are you proud to be guido?’ and I’m like, ’What’s your definition of guido?’ Are you thinking about spiky hair, big steroids, orange skin all year ’round? If that’s your definition of a guido, then I’m not one. But I’m like, ’If you’re looking for someone at the shore who’s 100 percent Italian, someone who has good family morals, someone who likes to party, then I’m your guido.”

Guido. Goth. Hipster. Prep. It doesn’t matter what you are, only that you’re proud to be it. Everyone has something to bring to the table, so don’t fear standing apart from the crowd. When you’re marching to the beat of your own drum, the right man will fall in line and march along with you.

8 Dating Mistakes Even Smart Women Make

Online Dating Grows

By Wailin Wong

Jay and Christina Lorance first met in an MSN chat room in May 1996, when the Internet, or even the idea of communicating electronically with a stranger, was an unfamiliar concept to many Americans.

Their online interaction led to four months of telephone calls and snail-mail letters, culminating in a face-to-face meeting in Colorado. Jay showed up with a ring. One year and four months later, they were married.

“We shocked a lot of people,” said Christina Lorance, 41. “I’m from New York and he’s from Oklahoma, so the first question everyone had was, ’How did you meet?’ ... When we said the Internet, their eyes would bug out. They didn’t even think it was true.”

Digital culture has changed drastically since the Lorances’ first virtual meeting. Online dating is now an accepted and commonplace way to meet someone, having largely shed its stigma as an option for only socially stunted nerds. Match.com, one of the leading Web sites, celebrated its 15th anniversary in April.

While advanced technology can’t guarantee in-person chemistry, that hasn’t stopped dozens of new offerings from touting their matchmaking algorithms or catering to a demographic niche.

Michelle Teplitz, a 29-year-old Connecticut native, was drawn to Jdate, a site geared toward Jewish singles, because she wanted to meet someone with similar values.

“It weeds out the people you wouldn’t want to talk to in a bar,” said Teplitz, who met her husband of three years on JDate. “You know when you’re on this site, (you’re meeting) people who, for the most part, are interested in meeting someone they want to spend their life with.”

Online dating has grown into big business. Match.com is part of IAC/Interactive Corp. and recently became the exclusive dating service on Yahoo, while eHarmony has acquired other Web properties related to weddings and parenting, including Weddingbee and JustMommies. Web-based dating also is taking on new forms, such as mobile applications and services within Facebook.

Another twist on the model was launched this year through WinkVid, the brainchild of Jordan Fulghum and Jake Lumetta. Their Chicago-based company offers online speed dating through webcams, with each date lasting four minutes.

“This stigma that’s been around for the last decade is really starting to be erased because people’s lives are moving online, and they’re seeing the real benefits of social networks and of these technologies that enable you to meet people,” Fulghum said.

A video chat may help bridge that difficult gap between online compatibility and in-person chemistry. Still, there’s no predicting how a romantic relationship will develop offline. Although some dating sites brag about their ability to match up life partners, other services acknowledge their limitations.

“I really think of our responsibility as ’no bad first dates,’ which seems like a low bar, but the reason is we can’t promise you a soul mate,” said Sam Yagan, co-founder of OKCupid. “That’s ridiculous. That’s chemistry and what happens when you see each other.”

The simplest reason for online dating’s emergence into the mainstream is that more Americans are digitally literate. The age-old practice of meeting and courting a romantic partner has moved online as consumers conduct more of their lives on the Web.

A 2006 study by the Pew Research Center’s Internet & American Life Project reported that nearly 7 million American adults have gone out with someone they met online. That number surely has gone up since, said Andrew Fiore, a doctoral candidate at the University of California at Berkeley who has studied online dating since 2003.

“As soon as you talk about 7 million people going on dates, they can’t possibly all be computer geeks,” Fiore said. “If you look at the demographics, people using online dating look a lot like people who are on the Internet in general.”

These typical users include Chicagoans Casey Zgutowicz, 32, and Micaela De Alba, 30, a recently engaged couple who met on eHarmony.

Online dating “is good in the sense you’re peeling back the onion,” Zgutowicz said. He said completing eHarmony’s intricate personality questionnaire was a “grueling process” but helpful, because “you know you have a similar foundation” before meeting in person.

Zgutowicz and De Alba, who are planning a June 2011 wedding in Mexico, said they no longer think their “how we met” story is novel.

“We’ve moved beyond it,” De Alba said.

Positive word of mouth also has helped boost the credibility of online dating sites. According to the 2006 Pew survey, 30 million adults reported knowing someone who’s been in a long-term relationship or married someone he or she met online.

“Once you have a friend who’s in a relationship that started online, you’re at a crossroads,” Yagan said. “Either your friend is weird and you’re friends with weirdos, or it’s not weird.”

Still, the stigma exists for some people. Holly Brunner, a 32-year-old pathology assistant in Washington, D.C., said she met a man via eHarmony who told his friends they met in the emergency room, where she was summoned to perform a biopsy on a liver tumor discovered after a motorcycle accident landed him in the hospital.

Aside from that odd hiccup, Brunner said she’s pleased with her eHarmony experience and is in a relationship with someone she met via the site in 2008.

“I can’t imagine any other way of dating,” she said.

Sometimes, the spark simply isn’t there. Samuel DiMatteo, 76, used Yahoo Personals for several years but is going to let his subscription lapse because he didn’t find “that click” with the handful of women he met.

“Probably, if I were younger, it would be better,” said DiMatteo, a River Grove resident who practices his computer skills at a cafe run by Evanston-based nonprofit Mather LifeWays. “When you’re 76, most (people) are set in their ways.”

On the other end of the age spectrum, members of the Web generation say they’re fluent in how to read cues from someone whose body language is hidden behind a computer screen.

“When I see how people type, I can immediately read their personalities: their grammar, lingo, the Net-speak they use,” said Iris Febres, 22, who met her boyfriend of more than one year on OKCupid.

Febres and her boyfriend live across the country from one another, so they use Skype to keep in touch.

This constant contact is crucial in a relationship, no matter how a couple meets. Just ask the Lorances, who have three sons and will celebrate their 13th wedding anniversary in December.

“Communication is what helped us get this far in life,” Christina Lorance said. “To this day, we could stay up all night on a Saturday, just me and him talking.”

Rules For Dating An Older Man

By Contessa Schexnayder, The Frisky

Yes, there will always be something slightly appealing about young, wide-eyed struggling artists and beer pong-loving frat boys with hearts of gold.

But sometimes you want someone a little more settled and refined — someone who prefers a suit to a backwards hat and The New York Times to Maxim.

Whether you have already snagged yourself a silver fox, or you are on the hunt for one, there are a couple of things you’ll need to take into consideration. Like all relationships, this could be long or short-term, but it is always nice to know how to act or behave when dealing with the majestic creature known as the older man.

Beware of pop culture references

Yes, you may be tempted to tell your older man the story of how when “Annie” came out, you were 5 and wore a red wig for an entire year. Only, when “Annie” came out, he was graduating from college. See the problem? Referencing movies, TV shows, and fads of yore only highlights your age difference.

So focus on things in the here and now, which you are both experiencing as adults.

Do not take on the role of the kid

He may be older, but this man is not your father — it is not his job to take care of you. He should not be a substitute for any male adult figure that you are lacking in your life. If you are craving or missing that bond, make a session with a therapist. There is a good chance that your older man might have kids already, so don’t be more needy than his 10-year-old.

The same goes for him — if he is trying to keep you in some creepy child-like state, ditch him. You’ve come so far as a woman, do you really want to be bossed and controlled like a toddler?

Make sure what he’s looking for lines up with what you want

Some older men date younger on occasion, when they meet a woman they find irresistible. Some do it all the time. If he’s 45 and only dates girls under 25, that should be a red flag if you want something long term. After all, why hang around if he is only going to turn you in for a newer model?

And conversely, what if he’s ready for kids now and you don’t see that happening until years down the road?

Find out what he wants from the beginning. Is he looking for wedding bells or arm candy? It never hurts to ask — that way you can make the decision to stick around.

Be yourself

Yes, this is a tired and cliche phrase, but it’s also true. It goes for all relationships, but especially with an older man. See, older fellows are far less prone to playing games than their younger counterparts. They usually know who they are and what they want. They want to see the same in you. Know that you are beautiful, smart and amazing. Stand up tall and be the woman that made him take a second glance.

Be yourself, just a slightly more mature version.

Hopefully, acting like you involves some sort of grown-up behavior. You shouldn’t expect him to do shots with you on a Wednesday until 2 a.m. — you have other friends on call for that. Here is where things get complicated. Some of the life experiences that you want, he has already had. Be understanding and considerate and he should do the same.

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