"You must get rid of the last vestige of the old idea that there is a Deity whose will it is that you should be poor, or whose purposes may be served by keeping you in poverty." Wallace Wattles, "The Science of Getting Rich".
Many books have been written about the Great Depression and it's effects on America. One of the effects has been the need to scrounge every last bit of their possession into the house. Anyone with grandparents who lived in that time will tell you hoe picky and conservative they are about money and possessions. Since the economy had crashed, jobs and therefore money was hard to come by. This left an imprint of 'poverty consciousness' on most people who lived then.
This sort of poverty consciousness is often present in many peoples mind's when they approach dating. Ever see a hot girl and think, 'she's way out of my league', or 'I can't get her'. Women do this as well to some extent, they are generally less sexually activated than men(something to do with the brain).
However, as soon as you have a potential date opportunity and label it with the thoughts that you couldn't have a good time with that person, or that he/she wouldn't have a good time with you - based on no actual information whatsoever - you are weakening your approach and ability to attract the opposite sex.
Taming a negative mind set, ex. 'poverty consciousness', can be extremely difficult. A person is often so enmeshed in thinking negative thoughts that when they occur it is simply not noticed. We can pick out particular emotions and situations and keep an eye on them to help us develop a positive mind set. But while we are dating we can suddenly fall into a negative mind set and ruin the date, or worse, the possibility of a romance.
Basically, at root of all of this is a belief of, 'I don't deserve to be happy'. Many people see life and human beings as sinful and therefore happiness is unattainable. We are 'thrown out of the garden' and are 'meant to suffer'. If you carry this kind of attitude you can never be in a successful healthy loving relationship. Any positive minded priest/preacher will tell you that God wants you to be happy , 'be fruitful and multiply'. However, approaching dating and relationships with a negative attitude cancels out the possibility of a positive growing relationship BECAUSE the attitude brought to it is negative. That is the simple truth.
The interpretation of the Bible that perceives the Divine as a merciless punishing one, lived in times that were like that. So to hold on to poverty consciousness can lie at the very heart of your belief system. You have to deal with that by reading philosophy, studying mystics of your tradition, meeting intelligent scholars and reading their books. Remember to learn from many so you have many perspectives . This will help you build a large a cohesive picture for yourself.
Self education is an important part of growth as well as successful dating and relationships.
