It’s a common occurrence: co-workers who also date.
But are these relationships ill-advised? It depends on who you talk to.
Valley dating coach, Joann Cohen, has more than 20 years of prior experience in human relations and she says dating in the workplace is a double-edged sword - one that should be avoided when possible.
However, if you’re head over heels for someone in the workplace and you absolutely can’t imagine yourself not dating them, Cohen assures, “There’s hope,” and offers these tips:
Before dating a coworker
Check your employee handbook. Some companies have policies that prohibit dating relationships at work. Others allow peers to date, but forbid boss/subordinate relationships, so read the fine print. If they don’t specifically address interoffice dating, read your company’s sexual harassment policies. Don’t forget that there are written and unwritten expectations in every company. Do everything to ensure you’re handling yourself appropriately.
Remember: No is no. Before asking a coworker on a date, consider the chance that the answer may be no. If that’s the case, be polite, tell them to let you know if they change their mind and don’t continue to pursue the other person, which could be considered sexual harassment.
While dating a coworker
Communicate. Talk about each other’s expectations. Set ground rules. This will help determine how both of you should address and handle any problems or questions that may arise in the office regarding your relationship.
Be discreet. Even if you think you’re in love and want everyone to know it, don’t involve others. Agree to tell no one until you’re in an established, committed relationship.
Be professional. Avoid PDAs, flirtatious emails or calls, and even lunch at work. A good rule of thumb is to make sure you’re comfortable with having whatever you do on the front page of a newspaper.
Focus on work. Human resources and your supervisor will be watching to make sure your relationship is not affecting your work. So now is the best time to work hard and focus. You don’t want to give them a reason to let you go.
Points to remember
NEVER date someone who directly reports to you. It will make people question your judgment, and will cause others to accuse you of favoritism.
Office size matters. It is more appropriate, expected, and accepted for people to date in bigger offices, rather than smaller-sized offices.
People can be different on the job. Before you ask them out, talk to them more in-depth in a casual setting and get to know them. Make sure it’s someone you’d really like to go out with.
Be mature. If you reach a point of stability in your relationship, it’s okay to let people know. Talk to your supervisor first, however, to assure him/her that it won’t affect your job.
Don’t let work interfere with your relationship. Keep work and your private life as separate as possible. This eliminates possible clashing of the two, and leaves you with a healthy, functional relationship.
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