When we say double dating, we mean one person seeing two or more people at the same time. As much as the question brings up huge lectures on what’s ethical and what’s not, here’s a six-rule non-judgemental perspective of how you can manage at being such a terrible flirt and enjoy it while you do.
Be honest
When you start going out with someone let them know right away that you are not ready to commit and you are seeing other people. Honesty will save you and the people you are seeing, a sure heartache later. Being honest also helps you build other bonds with them. So, if the ‘dating’ doesn’t work out, they just might become your best friends later.
Don’t double book on the same day
Give yourself and your emotional state the ability to process your experiences. If you go out with one guy/girl in the afternoon and another later that night, you will get confused about both experiences. Stagger the dates over a few days. Also, you don’t want to fall in love with both of them in the same way. The fondness will only grow, eventually, but if you date them too close to each other, you might not know who actually is making you smile.
Make sure you have some alone time
Don’t go out every night with someone. Make personal time for yourself. If you really like both the people you are dating, you will want that time to figure out who you want to stay with. You can also include them in this personal time, but ensure they know this is your time and they’re just there to complement you. This is not about them. This also helps them understand the ‘real’ you.
Put a time limit on the deal and let them know as well
If you decide to date more than one person at a time, your feelings can get jumbled up. Set a time limit to make a decision about where you stand and keep that time limit. If at the end of that time limit you still don’t know who you would pick, tell them that you don’t pick either. (Time apart may help you decide who you really want... if you want one of them that is!). Also having a time limit in your head makes it easier for you to realise what’s happening in you. It helps you keep control of the situation and not end up feeling like a fool for not falling or falling for both of them.
Don’t go to the same places with them
If your jazz lover has a special nightclub he/she likes, don’t take your football player (you get the drift!) to that same place. Avoid the same coffee shops, the same hang-out areas and maybe even the same areas of town you frequent. It’s much easier to deal with two dates if they do not see you dating the other person. They will know, but they do not need to see.
Avoid playing jealousy games
Don’t rub salt in the wound. Period. They’re being understanding enough to accept your ‘wayward’ ways and so give them a break and don’t pit them against each other so obviously. Leave the pitting in your mind, when you’re making the decision.
