On a recent episode of the weekly dating advice show Planet Love Match Radio, author and love stylist Tristan Coopersmith examined three of the most common mistakes single women make in their love lives. Coopersmith explained that the dating traps women fall into are: being unrealistic, sharing too much information too soon, and “fast-forward” dating.
Setting lofty, unrealistic goals has some single women feeling dating frustration. "I think the biggest mistake that women do in dating… and I blame Walt Disney for this, is looking for the fairytale, looking for Prince Charming," Coopersmith says. She adds that having a list of wants and needs is great; however, projecting a future that plays like a movie puts added pressure on a relationship that hasn’t even started yet. “Looking for perfection, it’s just not going to happen. Be realistic,” she states.
Employing her many years of experience, Coopersmith has found a distinctive approach to love. Working as a “love stylist” she is neither a matchmaker nor wing girl; more of a teacher and guide. She focuses on her clients’ own strengths, concentrating on getting them to let go of the baggage and learn positive dating techniques that will allow them to find happiness and love. Her overall approach is helping confused singles see their relationships through clear eyes. She runs a successful blog and has added author to her credentials with her book, “Menu Dating: Taste Test Your Way to the Main Course.”
“Fast-forward” dating can be another mistake for some singles. "For example, a woman will be on a first date with a guy and it’s the second course… and she’s already calculating ’Could he be an awesome dad?’ ’I wonder if he’ll want to go to my cousin’s wedding next year?’ While all that the man is thinking is, ‘Has she drank enough to come home with me?’ I believe that the guy is much more realistic at that moment, because you don’t even know each other,” she states.
Coopersmith further contends that the projection of this “fast-forward” fantasy can lead to dating disillusionment. “Fast-forwarding is why I believe women get so disappointed – they’ve already married the guy,” she concludes.
Sharing an excessive amount of personal details is another error Coopersmith feels single women are making. While she believes that it is important for a love interest to get to know the real you over time, sharing too much at the beginning of a relationship can sabotage its initial growth.
“Women can come off as crazy," she explains. "You don’t want to share that you go to a therapist every week. Therapy is great, I’m studying it, it’s awesome, but you don’t need to put that out there on the first date."
She suggests that daters should talk about the movies, music, or places they might like to travel – things that everyone can relate to. “You always want to come off as nice and light, no one wants a second date with someone with lots of baggage," she finishes.
Er du sikker på du er klar til en tur til Cougar Town?
