Mediocre Dating

Since I first started dating 8 years ago the longest I have been single was approximately one month, until now. I’ve decided to be more selective in who I choose to be with. I’ll pick them rather than they picking me. I’ve been single almost 2 months now and I’ve noticed there is a huge difference between the guys I want to date and the guys who want to date me.

The guys who I want to date are good looking, in college, successful, with a job and a car. Unfortunately they are the ones that put me off and if we do end up hanging out its just at their apartment, we don’t go anywhere and they don’t spend any money on me, dinner or anything. I might try to text or call them and hardly get a reply if I even get one at all. Yet they really hold my attention and I have a desire to be with them.

The guys who want to date me are slightly pudgy, okay-looking, have jobs, maybe have a car, maybe don’t but they call me when they say they will, they take me out to nice places, they take me to movies, dinner, give me compliments and really try to win my heart. Their only downsides are not great looking, felony charges, extreme nerdiness, facial hair that resembles pubes and just want to join the Army to escape reality. They want to be with me and they fill up my phone with texts and requests to hang out but I don’t even want to be bothered by them.

I don’t even really want a boyfriend right now. I haven’t been single in 8 years and maybe I’d like to try it but I wish there was just someone that I could want and would also want me.

Has anyone else found this problem when trying to date?

10 Goldene Regeln f�r erfolgreiche Online-Dating

Speed Dating For An Older Set

CENTRAL CITY - If you have ever been set up on a blind date, or attended a singles function, you know the feeling. Butterflies fill your stomach and you might feel flushed and need a glass of water.

A room full of people experienced all of those feelings recently on a trip to Central City.

They were not nervous about losing money in the slot machines. But while this gamble had nothing to do with cash, it certainly involved a little luck, if not guts.

Rocky Mountain Singles organized a first time ever “Speed Dating” event at Fortune Valley for seniors.

For those who do not know what speed dating is, it is an opportunity for a group of single people to meet several people in a short period of time. Each person is assigned a number and moves around a room from table to table to meet several people in roughly an hour’s time.

Each date lasts just six minutes, enough time to hopefully decide if you want to meet again.

For this group, there is enough time for eight dates. There are 17 women and 13 men, from Denver, Greeley, Aurora, and as far as Montrose.

Joseph Brady is a Chinese medical doctor and a specialist in healthy aging. He applauds this type of thing.

“Anything to get people to make friends and have relationships, that makes a big difference when it comes to healthy aging,” Brady said.

The people in this group are keenly aware of the importance of meeting new people and staying engaged in life.

Carl traveled from Greeley to take part.

“Even if you just make a new friend, you don’t have to sit at home and be depressed,” he said.

Carl is an outdoorsy type who likes to hunt and fish, but when asked what a woman should know about him, he said, “I’m a good dancer.”

For many of the participants, this is a non-threatening environment and more like a social hour. Several told us they would never consider an Internet dating site, and really are not interested in a serious relationship.

Some say they will never marry again, but they would like the chance to go to dinner, dancing or even a movie with a new friend.

After their speed dating session, Rocky Mountain Singles will review the cards they filled out about their dates and match up those that express a mutual interest in seeing each other again.

What happens next? Only time will tell.

Dating Expert Shares Tips On Getting A Date

Lyons, a self-proclaimed former nerd who was voted “least likely to ever get a girlfriend” in high school, spent years honing his craft in England. He’s now become a popular dating coach across the U.K. and the U.S., turning cads into Casanovas. But a funny thing happened during his club-going, women-seducing days: He fell in love.

Now Lyons, 29, teaches his weekend-long courses with his wife, a stunning American beauty named Amanda. Just in time for Valentine’s weekend, the London-based dating coach shares these tips for singles looking for love.

How to approach a woman

• Increase your profile by walking by the object of your affection without stopping to chat. (This doesn’t mean walk by her and stare. Play it cool, kid.) The more she sees you, the more familiar you become.
• Make eye contact to trigger an invitation to approach the other person.
• Smile genuinely, lest you seem scary or sad. A fake smile, of course, is creepy.
• “Lock in” by positioning yourself in a place that feels comfortable. This isn’t cornering or blocking a woman by a wall, and it looks normal to others. The easiest way is to have your back against something. In this instance, its OK to be a wallflower.
• Don’t approach a seated woman, forcing her to look up and strain her neck to converse with you. Aim to keep your heads at the same level, by waiting until she stands or by grabbing a nearby seat.
• Touch a woman in a non-aggressive, but flirty way. The only safe place to touch a woman is her forearm and the contact should last no more than 1.5 seconds. Everywhere else on her body seems creepy, too intimate or plain weird.

Three ways to open a conversation

• Functional: A simple question requiring a justification for asking it. “Excuse me, do you know where I can find the Starbucks in this neighborhood? I’m supposed to meet a friend there, but I’m a bit lost.”
• Compliment: A flattering introduction with a reason for giving it. “I’m sorry to bother you. It’s just that I really like that jacket and it looks great on you. I just wanted to let you know.”
• Observational: A statement on an event, followed with a question. “Wow, did you see that guy just drive through that puddle and splash those people? Do you think he even noticed them?”

How to get a phone number

• The networking close: End a conversation by asking “What’s the best way to stay in touch?”
• The common interests approach: If you uncover common interests during the conversation, ask to swap numbers or e-mail addresses so you can communicate about an upcoming event.
• Direct request: “I really like you. What’s the best way to stay in contact?” But Lyons warns against being direct too soon. “Do not use this one first. I don’t care if you think there is attraction — don’t ask for her number right away.”
• If nothing else, use Facebook as a pressure-free way of keeping in contact.

Five things a woman should know

• It’s easier to meet a decent guy if you’re out with guy friends, Lyons says, because you are less likely to get hit on by a random dude trying to score with a group of girls. Rather, you’re more likely to be approached by men who are genuinely interested in you. If you’re worried a guy won’t approach you, separate yourself from your male friends to give the new guy a chance to say hello.
• Qualification is the key to conversation. Like in sales, the more you know about the other person, the easier it becomes to have a good conversation. Ask him about his life, his passions. and learn what makes him tick. (Work and family questions are trite and boring, Lyons warns.)
• Joke like one of the boys. This may be hard for proper Southern gals, but Lyons says guys like a girl who can match them in the humor department because it makes it easier to relate to the opposite sex.
• Guys are lazy; they want it “easy, but not sleazy,” Lyons says. Learn the difference between slightly sexy and blatantly sleazy. Lyons says a simple rule of thumb is to keep him guessing as to whether you want him.
• That said, know when to go for it. If you really like a guy and think he may like you, he probably does, Lyons says. Take initiative and say what you want. You’ll be surprised just how often this works in your favor.

New Husband, Wife Meet Through Internet Dating Site

This is a story with a happy ending, and like most stories with such endings, it comes from nontraditional beginnings.

Elmus Honeycutt found his new bride, Gladys Sue Balch, on ChristianMingle.com last summer, and they married Thursday afternoon in a small ceremony in Rainbow City.

It would be your typical, run-of-the-mill, 21st-century court-ship story of boy meets girl through an Internet dating site — except in this case, boy and girl are both 86, and they were married in Elmus’ retirement community at Regency Pointe.

“I’ve never even heard of anyone 86 years old getting married,” Elmus said, laughing at the unusual circumstances surrounding his courtship and wedding. “But she’s in good health, and mine, as far as I know, is perfect.”

“It just goes to show you’re never too old to try new things,” said Michael Porter, Sue’s 13-year-old great-nephew from Huntsville, who was a guest at the wedding.

Although Elmus and Sue said they don’t have any friends their age who have used the Internet for much of anything — especially dating — they don’t find their story all that remarkable.

Sue’s husband and Elmus’ wife both died in the summer of 2008. Church friends encouraged Elmus to tap the resources on the Internet to find friendship and companionship. Sue’s late husband’s insurance company promoted dating Web sites to her through mailings.

“Well, I was on the hunt, and I guess he was, too,” Sue said. “I was lonesome.”

Elmus had tried one or two dating sites, but they connected him with a lot of women in other states. When he saw on Sue’s profile last summer that she was from Rainbow City, he sent her an e-mail.

“She e-mailed me back, and so we got acquainted,” he said.

It wasn’t a week before they had talked on the phone and set up their first date in the dining room at Regency Pointe. The courtship progressed, and Elmus said he wasn’t even considering remarriage when Sue proposed to him over the Thanksgiving holiday.

At first he turned her down, but two months later, he surprised her with a public announcement from the church pulpit where they were attending services together.

“She doesn’t mind telling people that she begged me to marry her,” Elmus said, laughing.

He grew solemn as he explained he was having a hard time getting over his first wife, and that was why he turned down Sue at first. But her persistence paid off. His face brightens when she walks into the room, and he can’t withhold a boyish laugh at her presence.

“I don’t think I would have married her if she hadn’t shown that love to me,” he said.

Sue is selling her Rainbow City home to move to Regency Pointe with her new husband. Elmus said he will be getting a larger apartment so they can have an office for Sue’s two computers and his one.

He confessed to having a file of about 25 women from across the country saved on one of his dating site profiles.

“I’m going to have to give them to Sue now,” he said, good-naturedly.

“I’ll let him destroy them,” she retorted, giggling.

Daters Without Borders

There are more than 8 million people in the city of New York. Most are either too young, too old, too married or too incarcerated to date. The remaining 17 have weird hobbies, creepy hygiene and bad manners.

Plus you’ve already slept with them.

Time to look beyond the boroughs. And no, we’re not talking New Jersey. More and more New Yorkers are searching for love on European dating sites, living out fairy-tale fantasies of international romance.

“French men really treat you like a lady,” says Lillian, a 42-year-old Manhattan copy editor who signed up for Meetic.com, Europe’s largest dating site. “They wine you, they dine you, they make you feel like you’re the only one on the planet.”

Lillian describes the men she’s met on US-based dating sites as “sleazy,” and the real-life dating scene in New York as “nonexistent.”

“I go out here — and nothin’,” she says.

But on Meetic, she Skypes with a Parisian man from the site for an hour each day. This month they missed connections — she flew to France for vacation the same day he flew to NYC for business — yet Lillian managed to line up two dates with another Frenchman Meetic member while in Paris.

“I was talking to guys in Italy, France and Sweden all at once,” she brags.

Susan, a 22-year-old grad student, also struggled with dating locally, so she widened her eHarmony parameters.

“What are the odds that that perfect person is within a 25-mile radius of your home?” she asks.

Turns out her future husband was living 3,400 miles away in a tiny village with the population of 60. eHarmony matched her with Peter, a 30-year-old Slovakian living in England. After months of Webcam chats, Susan hopped the pond for a face-to-face.

“I was really, really nervous on the plane,” she remembers. “I don’t do this sort of thing! But he was that special.”

Peter proposed a few months later in a romantic English garden. They married last June near a lake in Aurora, NY, and he’s since moved here.

Even “Real Housewives of New York City” reality star Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen met through Matchmaker.com while living on different continents.

“I had already dated most of the guys I knew and wanted to date in New York,” says Alex.

Simon, meanwhile, was based in Sydney and posted a profile on the Australian section of the site. On a lark, he changed his location to New York during a work trip to the city.

“I wasn’t looking to find a New York woman and move here,” he insists.

Still, international love prevailed and they tied the knot in 2000.

“Expect it when you least expect it,” they say. In unison.

Mark Brooks, editor of OnlinePersonalsWatch.com, says international romance is a growing trend, due to singles’ increasing pickiness about potential life partners.

“The longer the shopping list, the further afield you should cast your net,” he advises.

A single New Yorker four years ago, he flew to Prague for a European online dating conference where he met — and fell for — a Czech woman. They married last April and now live in Malta with two daughters.

It’s not just New Yorkers who are searching overseas for love. Sarah Shaw, 45, describes the dating scene in LA as “a nightmare,” so a French friend made her register with Meetic, where she stumbled upon Pierre Dubois, a handsome French painter. They fell into a whirlwind “fantasy” romance and were married soon after. Pierre moved to California and they now have identical twin girls.

Sarah credits European men with being more open and less threatened by female success than American men. Plus there’s that foreign accent.

“You have to be willing to look under every rock,” she says. “In every country.”

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15 Signs You’re Meant to Be Together

Even when you’re crazy about someone, it can often be hard to know if he or she is “right” for you. How do you know you won’t feel differently in a year? 10 years? A lifetime? Deciding if you can commit to someone is a deeply personal determination, and everyone has different criteria. As in any verdict, you have to start by assessing the evidence.

With that in mind, YourTango has come up with 15 signs that you’re dating a soul mate. You don’t have to check off all of these points to be sure about someone — but if you can say yes to several, you’ve found a very special mate.

1. You tell him things you don’t tell anyone else. We don’t mean blurting something out when you’re emotionally unstable, but the desire to tell him intimate details about your life means you trust him — a major component of successful long-term love.

2. You let her see you in moments of weakness. It’s easy to be happy with someone when you’re feeling good about life. But what about when you’re not doing so well? Do you want to see her when you’ve been denied a raise, or your cat died, or you had a plain old bad day? She should be a comfort during tough times, not a burden.

3. You respect him. You don’t want to change the essence of who he is. There may be stuff that irritates you in everyday life — he insists on wearing his favorite holey T-shirt, he eats sugar cereal for dinner, he still watches Saturday morning cartoons — but you like him, plain and simple.

4. You want him to meet your parents. You feel proud of him and you want to show him off — as opposed to feeling like you have to make excuses for him.

5. You can imagine a future together. You don’t have to practice writing your first name with his last name, but do you periodically let your mind wander to picture a life together? Is it amazing?

6. You’re not afraid to disagree with him. You know that even if you fight, he’ll listen to you and won’t brush you off. He takes you seriously, even when he thinks you’re wrong.

7. You want to work out your major differences. If you do have crucial differences that will impact your future together — different opinions about religion, money, or something else — you want to work them out with him, and you believe you can come to a conclusion that will satisfy both of you.

8. You laugh together. Laughter is one of life’s simplest pleasures — you should definitely be able to crack each other up.

9. You’re incredibly, utterly, surprisingly attracted to her. Physical chemistry is an undeniably important ingredient in a healthy relationship. And if she’s not a classic beauty or your usual “type”? Even more reason to think she’s the one.

10. It’s OK to be quiet around her. You don’t feel like you have to fill the space between you with chatter or other interaction. Instead, you feel an easy comfort.

11. You feel like yourself around him. You don’t feel like you have to edit your thoughts; you’re not self-conscious or anxious.

12. You need him the right amount. You long for him — but not too much. Some neediness is good, but too much breeds discontent.

13. You don’t feel too jealous. You’re comfortable with him going out with his friends — even female friends. You let each other have your own lives and hobbies.

14. You feel like she makes you a better person. She makes you feel smart, funny, attractive, creative — like the best version of yourself. You feel like she brings out and complements the best parts of you.

15. She just gets you. Sometimes it’s that easy. You feel like she understands some essential part of you that you can’t explain or articulate. It’s a warm, comfortable feeling — and one you should have with the person you marry.

Online c'� posto per la Magic