NYC Bride Sues Florist Over Flower Color

NEW YORK - The wedding was lovely, except for the flowers: They were the wrong color.

So says the bride, Elana Glatt, who was so upset that she sued the florist and alleged breach of contract.

She says Posy Floral Design in Manhattan substituted pastel pink and green hydrangeas for the dark rust and green ones she had specified for 22 centerpieces.

Not only that, she alleges that the hydrangeas were wilted and brown, and arranged in dusty vases without enough water.

"The use of predominantly pastel centerpieces had a significant impact on the look of the room and was entirely inconsistent with the vision the plaintiffs had bargained for," Glatt, a lawyer, said in the lawsuit, filed on behalf of herself, her husband, David, and her mother-in-law, Tobi Glatt, who paid for the flowers.

The flowers cost $27,435.14. The lawsuit asks for more than $400,000 in restitution and damages.

Stamos Arakas, the florist, said that he and his wife, Paula, tried to match the color of the hydrangeas with a picture Glatt had given them, but explained to her that the colors might not look the same.

"My father used to tell me, 'Don't deal with the lawyers," Arakas said. "Maybe he was right, God bless his soul."

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Why Women Like Ugly Men

In a study which unlocks the secrets of attraction, psychologists have explored how evolution has affected what's hot and what's not in the modern mating and dating game.

For many, it will come as little surprise. Women don't necessarily go for physical appearance but, rather, power, wealth and status.

"It's not that looks don't matter to women; they simply matter less than other things - in particular, signals of money and security," psychologist and author Viren Swami found.

The study, contained in his book The Psychology Of Physical Attraction, also found that we're a shallow bunch when it comes to waistlines.

People involved in an accident are far more likely to be rescued if they are of a normal weight than their underweight, or overweight, peers.

And when it comes to attracting men, it's not slimness but the WHR - waist-hip ratio - that is important.

Co-author Adrian Furnham said the lower the WHR the better, with female figures such as those of Scarlett Johansson and Marilyn Monroe the most desirable.

Mr Furnham said society had changed from valuing beauty as rugged Tarzan types to perfectly polished Brad Pitts.

"We've all evolved to find other humans attractive. But the cues for recognising beauty have changed over the years.

"We still look out for things like signs of health; a symmetrical face is attractive because people associate it with healthy people who produce healthy children.

"These days, we judge people first by their body size and then by facial characteristics.''

How To Date A Millionaire

Who says money can't buy you love? Eighty singles in New York City are betting money can at least open up the possibility of meeting their mate at a new type of speed dating event based solely on wealth and beauty.

In the urban dating jungle of Manhattan, natural selection of a different kind takes place on this night.

Shawn Vardi, a 25-year old real estate investor, is one of 40 men and 40 women who signed
on for an elite speed dating event broken down to what organizers call the bare essentials.

"Men want hot girls...girls want rich guys...let's put it together."

Single women qualify by beauty alone. Bachelors must make at least $200,000 a year or have assets worth one million or more.

"I'm just going to see what happens. Sometimes you spark a vibe and go from there," says Vardi.

Those qualifications may be shallow to some. But for one 24-year old who studied law, it is the perfect matchmaking opportunity.

"In the western society, money is the basis of power and success. I have always have been attracted to men who are successful," she says.

The rest is up to fate.

Participants have three minutes on each mini-date to make a connection.

Brief encounters that can be awkward one minute, and exciting the next.

Organizers admit money cannot buy love, but it hasn't stopped these singles from buying into the idea that money and looks may improve their odds at finding happiness.

Hot but Virtuous Is an Unlikely Match for an Online Dating Service

The women who appear in Web ads for the dating site True.com almost certainly do not need to look online for a date.

The buxom and often barely dressed models, posing next to slogans like "It's nice to be naughty," are plastered across the Internet these days, and are hard to avoid on the social networking site MySpace.

In part because of its provocative ads, True.com, based in Irving, Tex., has seemingly come out of nowhere to become one of the most visited sites in the $700 million-a-year online dating industry, attracting 3.8 million people last month.

True's rise has been controversial. The company has riled competitors like Match.com and Yahoo Personals, which say that True's lowbrow advertisements clash with its high-minded lobbying and legal efforts. True, which conducts criminal background checks on its subscribers, is the primary force behind a two-year-old campaign to get state legislatures to require that social Web sites prominently disclose whether or not they perform such checks.

True also says it is preparing to sue an ex-convict from Florida in Texas state court for violating its terms of service by joining the site.

"I want to make sure that our members have a wholesome environment for courtship," said Herb Vest, True's 63-year-old founder and chief executive.

Rivals dismiss the company's piety as a play for publicity. They also assert that the company makes it especially difficult for users to cancel its $49.95-a-month service, and that it has a history of generating automated messages that appear to be flirtatious "winks" from other users.

"True is the controversial child in the Internet dating industry. They are loathed by everybody," said Joe Tracy, publisher of Online Dating Magazine, a Web site on the industry.

Mr. Vest, a Vietnam veteran with a Texas accent, brushes off the criticism. "If there was a popularity contest among the entire population of the United States, I most assuredly would come out at the very bottom of that," he said. "But you are not going to stop me by calling me names."

True joined the crowded online dating scene in 2004. To distinguish itself from the pack, it offered a range of personality and sexuality surveys. It also hired the data broker ChoicePoint to perform background checks on customers to ensure that they had no criminal record and were not married.

The company then tried to have laws passed in several states that would require other sites to conduct background checks or disclose that they do not.

Companies like Yahoo, Google and IAC/InterActiveCorp, which owns Match.com, lobbied against the proposal through NetCoalition, an industry trade group. Markham Erickson, the group's executive director, said background checks were ineffective, partly because felons can easily circumvent them by providing false information. "Their initial sound bite sounds great, but once you get past that, you realize it's totally unworkable," he said.

True has had little political success so far, but is backing bills that legislators are considering in Florida, Texas and Michigan.

Mr. Vest has used political tactics before. His first company, the financial firm H. D. Vest, helped pass legislation in nearly all 50 states that allowed certified public accountants to earn commissions on the sale of securities. Critics who said the move would influence the financial advice of accountants — and benefit H. D. Vest, which offered tax and investment guidance — were overruled.

Mr. Vest sold his company to Wells Fargo for $128 million in 2001, then gravitated to the online dating market, with the professed aim of restoring family values. "I looked at the divorce rate and said, 'That's a bunch of nonsense. I can do something about that,' " he said. He himself underwent what he called a painful divorce in 1991 and has remarried.

True.com grew too quickly in its first year and sailed into financial trouble. At the end of 2004, Mr. Vest, its primary investor, laid off 90 employees, more than half its staff.

Soon after, True became more aggressive, and sex-themed, in its advertising. While the site continued to pitch itself as a safe way to date, its ads now featured voluptuous women and slogans like "Come and get them while they're hot."

Newer True.com video ads depict models in their underwear, imploring men to visit True and chat with them over live Web cameras.

According to Nielsen Monitor-Plus, True.com spent $52.2 million over the first 11 months of last year on Web ads, more than double the amount its rivals spent online. (EHarmony, which runs TV ads, is the offline leader with $110.1 million in spending.)

Mr. Vest said the company's ad budget continues to expand. He said the company is profitable and has 16 million members, but he declined to say how many of them actually pay the company, and how many use the more limited free services or no longer visit the site.

Match.com and Yahoo declined to discuss True.com. But David Evans, who writes Online Dating Insider (onlinedatingpost.com), a blog about the industry, said the competition was upset with True because its ad blitz, which included text ads tied to dating-related search terms, is driving up advertising costs while harming the industry's reputation.

"They worked hard to overcome the stigma of providing these services," Mr. Evans said. "And True comes in, grabs the lead in page views and drives up the cost of dating keywords on the search engines for everyone else."

The ad campaign has also brought some strenuous objections. MySpace users have started four groups on the site asking it to reject True.com ads. Mr. Vest denies that his ads are exploitive or semipornographic. "We are very conscious of our reputation," he said. "Pornography brings perverts, and we do not want perverts on our site. On the other hand, you can state from me in bold letters that True is in favor of sex."

The ad carpet-bombing has worked in one way: last year, True jumped to the top of several lists of the most visited personals sites. According to comScore Media Metrix, True.com's 3.8 million visitors in February put it slightly behind Yahoo Personals and Match.com, but ahead of older rivals like eHarmony and Spark Networks, which owns JDate.com and other sites.

However, True still significantly trails those players in more important categories, like time spent on the site. That suggests that many users are either not signing up for paid memberships or are quickly dropping the service once they do.

Or at least trying to drop it. On many Web forums, online daters have shared horror stories of trying to cancel their True.com accounts. True requires members to telephone the company to cancel, but it appears to go the extra step of sometimes failing to honor those requests.

Preston Roder, a 54-year-old liquor store manager in Mundelein, Ill., said he tried to quit True.com last September after an unfruitful yearlong membership but was still hit with an array of charges over the next four months.

"True is a big company, but they could care less when you try to cancel," said Mr. Roder. "They got your money so they are through with you."

Mr. Vest said the company recently revised its policy on cancellations. "We are not as good as I want to be. We still have an ongoing project to improve," he said.

The site has also been criticized for generating random "winks" — the industry term for messages of interest from other members. Dan Consiglio, a 49-year-old engineer from Vancouver, Wash., said he received dozens of winks from women after signing up for True, and responded to many of them. He got only one response, from a woman who kindly informed him that she had not, in fact, winked at him.

Mr. Vest acknowledged that the service sends artificial winks, but he said users have the option to disable them and that they serve an important purpose. "We try getting people who otherwise might be very retiring or shy to meet each other and fall in love and have children," he said. "We are just trying to do our job as a matchmaker."

I'll Never Marry Again

London, Nov 20: Two failed marriages, and Heather Mills has vouched "never" to taste it again.

The 38-year-old ex-model has declared she will never marry again following her divorce with Sir Paul McCartney.

Mills was alleged to be having a fling with her personal trainer Ben Amigoni, but she told a US TV program that gossips concerning this are "totally made-up," as she has no "lover" at present.

"I'm a good mother, I'm a good person. I fell in love for the right reason. I fell in love unconditionally," The Daily Mail quoted her, as saying.

"I haven't got a lover. At the moment, I'm focusing on my daughter. It's totally made up!" she added.

Asked if she would ever marry again, she said: "Never."

She denied suggestions she was a gold digger, saying: "Eighty-five percent of my income goes to my charity. The word gold digger doesn't go with that. If I was a gold digger, I would have a lot of money in my bank account...I'd be worth millions and millions." (ANI)

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Build Healthy Relationships

As Online Dating Sites Novelty Wears Off, Offline Dating Becomes More Profitable And Popular

Marketdata Enterprises Inc., a leading market research firm, has released a new 232-page report entitled: The U.S. Dating Services Market. The study presents in-depth status reports and analyses of independent matchmakers, dating Web sites, chains and franchises, radio datelines, print personal ads, and singles publications. The study estimates industry revenues, trends, and competitor profiles from 1991 to 2008 Forecast.

There are 90 million singles in America, and online personals Web sites such as Match.com, Yahoo! Personals and eHarmony have brought matchmaking into the mainstream since 2001. However, we are now seeing the first wave of divorces of people that found their soulmates online and consumers are not happy with the accuracy of online profiles. State lawmakers are not happy either. There are bills proposed or pending in IL, TX, FL and VA, to require dating services to state whether they perform background checks. This has become a controversial battle. The novelty of online dating has worn off and revenue growth for the 850+ websites operating has slowed drastically to only 4.5 percent last year, versus 47 percent in 2003.

"The introduction or dating services market is growing only 3.7 percent per year in the U.S., but not all segments of the market are faring equally well. The industry is basically self-regulated. This has turned into a global business, branching beyond the United States. The U.S. is still the largest market, but it's saturated and the untapped potential appears to be Europe, as well as ethnic and hobby-based niche markets.", according to Marketdata's Research Director, John LaRosa.

Major Findings:
1) Marketdata forecasts the total dating services market to grow at an average annual rate of 3.7% from 2005 to 2008, to $1.11 billion. Growth has slowed in the all-important dating websites segment, which represents 49% of the entire market. Most other segments are seeing flat or moderate gains.
2) It's estimated that 1,300 independent matchmakers operate nationwide (grossing $50,000 to $200,000 per year each). An additional 218 physical offices run by chains or franchises (Great Expectations, Together, The Right One) also compete. Added to this, there are literally thousands of dating websites, as well as singles magazines, and roughly 375 radio station datelines.
3) The latest U.S. Census survey reported that the "average" dating service establishment had 2002 receipts of $555,000, down from $887,000 in 1997.
4) Matchmakers, usually 1-person operations, have survived and prospered, despite fees than often reach $25,000+. They cater to high income male executives. More are entering this lucrative field. About 1,300 are estimated in the U.S. The "average" established matchmaker grosses about $200,000/year, but some make as much as $5 million.
5) Off-line dating services (franchises and chains, solo matchmakers, speed dating) in many cases are outperforming the dating websites. They have a lower cost to acquire a new customer, a higher lifetime customer value, and can offer in-person verification that dating websites cannot.
6) Very few dating Web sites are profitable and the cost of entry to build a "critical mass" and database of profiles is now estimated at $10 million.
7) Profit margins for "bricks & mortar" chains can run as high as 30 percent of sales, with little or no competition, and 19-22 percent with moderate competition. No doubt, margins are at least 30 percent for the one-person matchmakers not run out of a retail office because their overhead (especially advertising) is much lower. It's not unusual for a dating franchise to spend $5,000 per month on advertising, to bring in perhaps $15,000 in sales. By contrast, a single matchmaker may spend next to nothing, instead relying on word-of-mouth and personal networking.

(Source - Marketdata Enterprises Inc. Press Release at PRWEB.Com

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Nigerian Scam Artists Target Dating Sites

Like a lot of the women on dating Web sites, Lynn divorcee Carol Cormier was looking for love.

What she found turned out to be too good to be true, and now she's on a mission to save other singles from being ensnared in a shockingly widespread online romance scam.

"The only thing I tell them is you opened up your heart and a jerk fell in," said Cormier, 57, who almost lost thousands to a Nigerian who used a phony model's photo to woo her and then tried to bilk her out of her savings.

Cormier says she's one of countless lonely hearts on sites like match.com and eharmony.com who have been taken in by a pretty face. She moderates a Yahoo.com member site for singles slammed by the scam.

The site has 4,500 members, said Barbara Sluppick, who lives in Missouri and started the online support group after she was almost taken in by the same Nigerian scheme that Cormier fell for.

"Every single one has scammers on them," she said. "It's very widespread - more than people know."

For years, people have been duped by e-mail and Internet flimflams that typically involve a man from Nigeria who claims he needs the recipient to wire him money or cash a check.

But this one is far worse, Sluppick said.

"This is dealing with a person's heart and person's emotions," she said. "The emotional devastation is even worse than the money loss. They join the dating sites thinking this is a good way to meet people."

Cathy Milhoan, an FBI spokeswoman, said the Nigerian rip-off is well-worn and has many faces.

"Every day we get complaints about the Nigerian scam in some form or another," she said.

The FBI encourages people to report any Internet scams online at www.ic3.gov, which tracks computer crime.

"A lot of time, people think they are the only one," Milhoan said. "The only way we are going to combat it and catch these guys is to report it."

The man who tried to curry Cormier's favor told her he owned a computer company, which took him to Nigeria, where he ended up in desperate need of money to leave the country. He asked her to set up a bank account for him in America.

That's when she got wise to him and called his bluff.

Cormier says she's learned to love again. She met a Kansas man on the Internet and has been dating him for six months. She talks to him every night and has met him once in person. "At least I know I can trust again."

BostonHerald.Com

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The Extraordinary Impact of Respect

I bet you wondered at one time or another -- how is it that a woman brushes a guy's advances off, responds to his words or attention negatively and with a cynical smirk, while at other times she is totally into him.

The answer is in a somewhat simple yet extremely important term -- Respect.

SHE HAS TO HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOU IN ORDER TO DESIRE YOU AND RESPOND POSITIVELY TO YOU.

You can get that respect in two main ways:

1. Through a skill (what you do). 2. Through your personality (who you are).

Let me elaborate...

Have you wondered why women are attracted so much to bartenders. Is it because they are the hottest guys in a bar?

No! It's because they deserve the most respect in that bar. They demonstrate their skill -- they work and they are there for a valid reason. 99% percent of all other guys are just hanging out and looking "pretty" and have to resort to other means to be attractive.

What about artists or comedians? They, better than anyone, demonstrate their personalities to the entire world, and that's why women want them so badly.

On the other hand, go say something provocative to a female passer by. You are guaranteed to get a negative look and a harsh word in return... if you are lucky enough to not be ignored by her.

Why? It's simply because you didn't earn any respect and you showed a lack of respect for yourself by demonstrating that you didn't know how to approach her properly.

Here are a few real life examples of how the degree of respect you get changes the dynamics in a given situation.

If you approach a woman with a cheesy pick-up line, you show that you don't have the skill or personality that would entitle you to respect. You don't have the skill of a natural conversation, and you don't have the personality of desiring to be genuine and different from others.

On the other hand, if you say something casual and neutral in the woman's presence that is relevant to the situation, even without appearing as if you are coming on to her, she might just respond very favorably... because she respects you and... she respects the fact that you respect yourself.

If she is smart and socially astute, she also realizes how rare such guys are.

When on a date, if you are too pushy and forward, you come across as desperate for sex and affection. This demonstrates your lack of skill in getting women and lack of strength in keeping your pants up. Why would you get any respect for that?

Conversely, if you behave like a wimp, being passive, agreeing with everything she says and doing everything she wants in a supplicative manner - you will not be respected either and for obvious reasons.

Remember, if she respects you, she will be with you.

Don't take me wrong. I am not suggesting you should work on earning a woman's respect for a month before getting intimate with her. You can get the requisite respect in just a few moments.

Your genuinity, your ability to communicate with pride, and with a belief that what you do is right and actually is flattering to a woman in confidence and in a way which portrays creativity will earn you a great deal of respect in just minutes. This is partially because so few guys know how to do it.

I will go even further and suggest that your smile can get you much more respect than a grumpy, sad, depressed look. Your eye contact and approach will earn respect automatically regardless of what you say and what the outcome of your communication will be.

On the other hand, if you stare without doing anything, you earn progressively more disrespect as time goes by, communicating your hesitant, apprehensive nature and lack of skill (ability to initiate a contact) and lack of personality (confidence).

So, treat yourself with respect and women will notice -- after all, you are one of the few!

How to Attract Women

Do not worry about your problems with women at all. Focus on maintaining a happy persona.

A girl that I work with is always ill-mannered, it makes her VERY unattractive. I always thought of her as an uglo, until one day where she was VERY happy and I noticed that she was kind of cute.

When I was in my best moods, I attracted the most women.

When I was looking for validation, I got rejected the hardest.

When I was the most arrogant, people started to put me down the most.

When I tried to act like the smartest, I said the dumbest things.

The times when the most good things happened to me, were the times when I was in a good mood to begin with.

The times when the worst things happened to me, were the times when I was in a poor mood.

What does this mean?

You must make your own happiness. From that, all will fall into place. If you depend on the world to do it for you, the happiness you have will be taken away.

Many of these tips and philosophies try to show you how to fake happiness and contentment. For example:

* Display Confidence *

Why not already be content with your life and where you are headed? Then, you have nothing to really worry about, and you are naturally confident.

* Smile and Make Eye Contact *

What reason do you have to NOT smile and look in the eyes of a person you find attractive? That is where you want to look isn't it?

* Don't Supplicate *

Why do you need to do ANYTHING for this person? Don't you do everything for yourself? Why deny them the same independence?

* Be Cocky and Funny *

Why would you be into self deprecating humor? Why wouldn't you be humorous? After all you are in a happy mood.

* Be Dominant *

Don't you have any idea what you want to do? Why wouldn't you step up and voice your opinion? Why step aside and let someone else control the situation? Don't you think you are worthy enough?

Of course, you can do all these things by puffing up your ego, but then (when you get rejected hard) you will realize that it is not the way to go. You must grow up: away with the ego, away with the insecurities, away with the over-analysis, away with the haughtiness, away with the arrogance, away with the rationalization.

Let not your cocky and funny attitude come from the thought of "all chicks want me." Let not your dominance come from "I am better then everyone else." Let not your confidence come from "she failed to recognize quality." Be a real man and take things as they are.

Don't try to impress people, don't try to seduce chicks, don't try to stay strong, dominant, confident, etc.

Just try to stay happy, and all else will follow.

And let no one cramp your style.

What I've Learned About The Cold Approach

When you start out at this site, you read about all kinds of techniques and attitudes and you get excited. You start to walk around with a feeling of empowerment. You know a secret, you know how to get women.

But cold approaches are still scary.

When everyone starts, cold approaches are nerve racking -- you sweat, tremble, stumble over your words. How are you supposed to get a girl acting like this?

Keep reading and find out.

First of all, you need to accept the fact that you're not gonna be great at this when you start out. You will screw up.

But the payoff is sweet. Trust me, the embarrassments and screwups from your past will be something you look back on with great pride and they make great stories. You will be able to look back and laugh at yourself, and hopefully you are able to laugh at yourself now.

Let's talk about the attitude you should have. Bottom line, your attitude should be that of indifference. That's as far as I can go and be universally correct. I'm pretty laid back, I joke around and have fun with it. But no matter what style you have, or what your relationship goals are with the girl, indifference is key.

Here's a big one: When I started out, I didn't want the girl to know I was picking up on her when I started talking to her. I think I had mislead myself into thinking that if I let her know I was trying to pick her up, I would show too much interest and loose the edge. Or I would somehow offend her by trying to pick her up.

This attitude is a bigger problem than the nervousness, and was probably the biggest thing holding me back. Girls like to get hit on. Whether they diss you or not, they go home happy because they feel appreciated and sexy.

So when you talk to girls, don't try to hide the fact that you are attracted to them. They know what's going on, women are not stupid. Show them enough respect to be honest. Besides, who are you to hide your motive. You're a man, men like women. You like her, so don't be ashamed to show it.

The 3-second rule: I never used it when I started out. I wanted to get better at this cold approach thing and I knew I had to get out and practice to do it. So there was no need to for me to trick myself into moving in.

Ask yourself why you want to talk to her. When you find your answer (be it practice, to dance, to talk, to get a number, whatever it is) there should be nothing to stop you from moving in. And remind yourself this is gonna be fun.

This procedure takes place in your mind much faster than 3 seconds. After you have been doing this for a while you won't think -- if you see a girl you wanna talk to, you will just instinctively go talk to her.

How do I open and what do I talk about once I do open her?

As far as opening her goes, I usually just go with "how ya doin?", "hey", or "hi". But if I'm in a good mood, I'll use "Heeeeeey" jokingly. Have fun with it.

As far what to talk about, that's a tough one. I wouldn't know what to tell you, because I don't really remember what I talk about. That's a good thing.

You don't wanna walk in with a plan of what to say. Just let the conversation flow naturally. This was tough for me, but after screwing up enough all of a sudden I found I could have a convo with anyone for however long I wanted. Key point though: I didn't learn how to hold a convo from reading an article. I learned how by having conversations.

A few tips: while you are talking to her, ask her about herself, ask her if she's into what your ideal women is into. Allow her to show you who she is. The attitude you should have should be "Am I interested in her?"

Ok, here's something that will really let the girl know that you are interested in her: Eye Contact. This is even more important than kino.

This is where you will be able to let her know that you are interested. You could be talking about anything -- and eye contact sets the mood. When you start talking to her generally you want to have an "I'm interested, I'm listening" look in your eyes, this will build comfort and rapport.

Later on in the convo once you've built some trust and rapport, and you have allowed her to prove she's worth your time, start to look at her with "you know what I wanna do" eyes. You aren't trying to hide your interest remember. You are confident in your sexuality, and you go after what you want.

Kino for those that don't know is a fancy way to say touching someone. Kino was awkward for me at first, but I kept at it and it has become natural. I'm not gonna try and teach you kino through an article, it can't be done. The only way to learn is to do it until it's natural. One tip I can give though is not to pay attention to what your hands are doing, just let them do their thing.

Okay, so you've approached her, you're talking to her, good eye contact, kino, she seems interesting. How do you close?

Depends on your goal and situation. If you wanna get her number, then get it. It doesn't matter how you ask at this point. By now she wants to give it to you, so you don't have to demand it. But don't be shy about asking for it either. If you can handle intense eye contact I'm pretty sure you're not gonna have trouble getting a number.

Well there you have it. After reading all that I hope you're more educated on cold approaches. But I guarantee your not gonna get good at them by reading this or any other article. But armed with this info and driven by your goal of getting better at approaching, you are well on you way.

Now get out there and have some fun with it.

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Why You Shouldn't Be Intimidated by Attractive Women

It's not a secret that one of the biggest obstacles that men have toward approaching very attractive women is the fact that they are intimidated by them.
When a man hears that these women are just like all other women and that there is no reason to be intimidated by them, he might believe that and yet that argument alone will not eliminate his fear of approaching and meeting those women.

However, understanding the actual reasons why no man should be intimidated by a very beautiful woman proves to be a very effective way of eliminating that same feeling.

So, here are three major reasons why you should not be afraid of talking to beautiful women:

1. The obvious but often overlooked truth is that attractive women are NOT that rare or uncommon. Go to any club or a bar and you will find dozens of women who are extremely attractive and would easily qualify as models or actresses. So... beautiful women are not scarce. What is scarce are beautiful women with equally beautiful personalities.

2. Remember -- what intimidates you is not a woman's beauty but her attitude. A woman's snooty ways of carrying herself, avoiding eye contact, and walking with the head high up is what makes her come across as unfriendly, unhappy, and otherwise unapproachable.

3. If you have met a few beautiful women, then you know that the likelihood that their personality matches their beauty is extremely low. In fact, many if not most of these women are uninteresting, shallow, high maintenance and otherwise unworthy of spending time with. And this is true of both sexes.

Why is this important? Well, because one of the reasons that guys are intimidated by beautiful women is because they think that these women are godly creatures and they have godly, outstanding characters. But this is usually not the case.

4. Many guys believe that these beautiful women are "out of their league." This belief has no foundation in real life. It doesn't take long to look around and notice how many beautiful women date and have relationships with guys who are physically and otherwise mediocre. So... the "out of my league" argument is just an excuse not to take action, and one that you should abandon.

So, whenever you see a beautiful woman that you want to approach, remember the above points, be realistic and assume that she is not going to be all that interesting until and unless she proves otherwise. And this will eliminate much of your fear of approaching her.

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How to Fake a Good Smile

I tend to be a reserved person, and I've noticed that many times when I approach somebody (not necessarily picking up women) I don't smile as much as I should.

When you have a serious expression on your face people tend to stay away. It tells the world you don't want to be bothered right now. Some people may even interpret it as arrogance.

We all know what an important non-verbal cue smiling is when dealing with other people. In fact it's vital for any type of social success.

However, if you're shy, nervous, or simply having a stressful, busy day, it may be difficult to crack a smile.

Of course, you could always fake it. I've tried this with varying degrees of success. It's better than nothing, but there is no substitute for the real thing.

So how do you crack a genuine smile when you really aren't feeling all that cheerful?

Simple: think of something hilarious when you make your approach.

I've tried this technique several times over the last few months. I always use it when I'm busy and stressed out over midterms or finals, and yes, IT WORKS.

Today, while dealing with a cute receptionist at my university, a Dave Chappelle joke came to mind, and I couldn't help but grin when I walked up to her desk. Flirting immediately ensued.

Had I not smiled, the dynamic of our exchange would have been completely different.

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31 Ways To Make A Girl Smile

1. Tell her she is beautiful

2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its Just for a second.

3. Hug her from behind

4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5. Wrestle with her :)

6. Don?t go hang out with your ex when she?s not with you, you might not relize how badly it Hurts her.

7. If youre talking to another girl, when you?re done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her?.let her know she?s yours and they aren?t.

8. Write her notes or call her just to say ?hi?

9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girlfriend.

10.Play with her hair.

11.Pick her up (she loves it)

12.Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesn?t like it

13.Make her laugh

14.Let her fall asleep in your arms.

15.If she?s mad at you, kiss her.

16.If you care about her, then TELL HER

17.Every guy should give their girl 3 things: a stuffed animal (she?ll hug it every time she goes to sleep), jewelry (she?ll treasure it forever), and one of his t-shirts (she?ll most likely wear it to bed) or sweatshirts sprayed with his cologne!! and flowers or something occasionally.

18.Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you?re alone.

19.Look her in the eyes and smile.

20.Hang out with her on weekends

21.Kiss her in the rain (girls love this)

22.Kiss her just for the heck of it

23.If your listening to music, let her listen too.

24.Remember her birthday and get her something, even ifnits simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. It means all the world to HER.

25.When she gives you a present on your birthday, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it, even if you don?t (it?ll make her happy.)

26.Always call her when you say you will, it may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her think you don?t care so call even if you can only talk for a minute. Girls don?t necessarily have to have hour long conversations every night but its nice for us to hear your voice even for a quick hello.

27.Give her wat she wants

28.Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.

29.Dont hug her friends or your friends that are girls cause she?ll feel left out.

30.Hang out with her whenever you are free

31.If u care about her? SHOW her!

The Interview

Chicks will invariably "interview" you if you let them.

The thing you want to remember is that you should be the one doing the interviewing (qualifying).

Your regular old "nice guys" who answer the interviewer's questions invariably won't get a second date, or get laid.

Restaurant, whatever...

Her: Where do you work?

Him: The city sewer. Where do you work?

This is where the power comes back to you because you make it clear you are "evaluating her answer." You make it clear through your demeanor that you are the one doing the evaluating here.

You are the prize. She is in question. She needs to seek your approval, because you're in charge.

As she answers give her lots of "Uh huh", "I see", "Tell me more, this is interesting", "Fascinating".

The whole time this "conversation" is going on, the real conversing needs to be done with her eyes, through body language, through touch. Like two musical themes that are superimposed over one another, uh-huh, I see, tell me more... just keeps the beat.

The Kiss Close

After you've mastered the number close, it's time to elevate your game to the next level and execute the kiss close. It's the best kino you can possibly apply when first meeting a woman, short of having sex.

Here's how it's done:

Before you can do a kiss close however, you must first do a number close. When getting her number make sure that she's the one who writes it. As she is writing it down, get into her personal space, if you aren't already in it, and act as if you're just getting close to watch her write down her number.

Position your head about a foot away from hers and direct your eyes towards the number she's writing down. When she hands you her number, you both should be face-to-face and you must look into her eyes immediately for a second and say, "Alright, well..." (then focus your eyes on her lips, take a small step forward, lean forward and slightly tilt your head as you begin to say...) "I'll see you later."

That way her attention is focused directly on what you're saying.

She's definitely going to want to know what you're saying to her when she sees you going in for a kiss. By the time you've finished telling her what you wanted to say, your lips will be almost touching hers.

I suggest going in with the intention of using your tongue in the kiss. She'll dictate what type of kiss she wants by either keeping her lips closed or opening them.

At first it might seem slightly intimidating to apply the kiss close but in time it will become second nature and you'll be asking yourself why you haven't been doing it all along. I recommend polishing up your number closing skills first because it's your foundation for the kiss close.

The kiss close works best when the conversation has lasted a minimum of five minutes, ten to fifteen minutes is the ideal situation but it also can be used after a long conversation where the pick-up was done in a relaxed atmosphere.

For those of you still stuck in the number close phase, all you have to say is, "Let me give you a call sometime" (no need to go into some big spiel) and she'll get the hint and start writing her number down.

Wait and see if she has a pen and some paper in her purse (they usually do). If she doesn't have anything, then it's alright to lend her a pen and a random business card. Don't just pull out a pen and business card from your wallet if you don't have to; you don't want her to think you're a player.

One of the keys to making the kiss close successful is saying a parting phrase while you're going in for the kiss (as in the above example). That way her attention is focused directly on what you're saying.

She's definitely going to want to know what you're saying to her when she sees you going in for a kiss. By the time you've finished telling her what you wanted to say, your lips will be almost touching hers.

I suggest going in with the intention of using your tongue in the kiss. She'll dictate what type of kiss she wants by either keeping her lips closed or opening them.

At first it might seem slightly intimidating to apply the kiss close but in time it will become second nature and you'll be asking yourself why you haven't been doing it all along. I recommend polishing up your number closing skills first because it's your foundation for the kiss close.

The kiss close works best when the conversation has lasted a minimum of five minutes, ten to fifteen minutes is the ideal situation but it also can be used after a long conversation where the pick-up was done in a relaxed atmosphere.

For those of you still stuck in the number close phase, all you have to say is, "Let me give you a call sometime" (no need to go into some big spiel) and she'll get the hint and start writing her number down.

Wait and see if she has a pen and some paper in her purse (they usually do). If she doesn't have anything, then it's alright to lend her a pen and a random business card. Don't just pull out a pen and business card from your wallet if you don't have to; you don't want her to think you're a player.

Connection Through Conversation

A lot of men have trouble conversing with people, let alone a potential partner. Remember those times when you were on dates and the conversations just went blank. You wouldn't know what to say, things were getting awkward.

The good news is when given the opportunity, women love to talk. Talking for long periods of time creates feelings of natural connection in a woman. Women will love you if they feel like they are being heard. Women will just talk and talk and talk until they are your best friend.

Being a good listener is so important in a relationship. In fact, it's critical. Listening makes women feel like you really care about how they are doing and about them as a person. It creates love.

I want to tell you about how to create connections through listening to conversation. Women will reveal all about themselves using this formula -- everything about their inner personality. The will reveal their desires, their secrets, their sacred stories, everything involved when they are with somebody they care about on a romantic level. It's called the four second rule.

What you do is begin your conversation with a woman and let her talk. It doesn't matter what she is talking about as long as she seems interested. Wait until she has finished saying everything she has to say and count in your mind for four seconds. What will happen is she will begin talking again within that count of 1 2 3 4.

If she doesn't talk within that count of four seconds, simply repeat the last thing she said and get her talking again. You can say the last half of her sentence in the form of a question or a statement of what is. For example:

Janelle: "I love the snow.... It's just so pretty...."

1 2 3 4

Jonathan: "So pretty?"

Janelle: "Yeah, I could stare at it for hours.... I just love the whiteness of the ice..."

1 2 3 4

Jonathan: "Whiteness of the ice?"

Janelle: "It reminds me of when I was a little girl. My dad used to take me to the mountains. We had....."

(and she just goes on, revealing all of the stories of her life).

Conversations can go on for hours like this. What you're doing is releasing a woman's naturally abundant tendency to talk until the cows come home. She will feel like you're the best person in the world, all for listening to her. I've had women thank me just for sitting there and listening to them.

The four second rule is an ideal solution for dates where you are stumped on what to talk about and if you want her to treat you like her best friend, which is important when you're trying to be her intimate partner.

So the next time you're out, try the four second rule. It'll sure create those feelings of friendship and comfort and let you know everything about her.

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Controlling with Questions

I am a sales manager for a large financial sales organization. As such, I regularly attend sales conferences, trainings, and workshops. At one particular seminar the topic was controlling the sale by leading with questions.

After the day's conference was over, a friend and I were in the hotel bar having a few cocktails. As we are based out of Florida and the conference was in Chicago in the winter, it was obvious that we were out-of-towners.

Anyway, we spotted a very attractive, young woman sitting alone across the bar from us. Since we were already discussing the day's seminar topic, I told my friend that I believed I could use that same technique to meet her and obtain her number. So, we bet on it.

I then walked over and said excuse me and introduced myself. She in turn said hi. I told her that she looked like she was from around here and she agreed. I said, "Great. Let me ask you, what is your favorite meal if you could have anything you wanted?" She replied somewhat questioningly, "Lobster."

I said, "Perfect. Here in Chicago, what would be your favorite place to have lobster if you could go anywhere you wanted?" She said, "I love the Lobster Diablo at the King Crab Tavern."

"Really? So, if you had won, I don't know, say a radio contest giving out free lobster dinners at the King Crab on Friday night, you would probably go, right?" She thought, then said, "Yes, I guess I would." "Even if you had to have dinner with one of the other contest winners?" "Yes, I guess that would be ok" she smiled.

"Even if that other winner was me?" She thought for a moment and I just waited with a slight smile for her to answer. "No, I wouldn't mind" she said still with a slight smile.

"Then, Friday night at the King Crab Tavern we'll meet for dinner. Is eight thirty ok?" "Yes." She smiled, "That's fine."

Then we exchanged business cards and I told her I would call her Friday in the day to make sure we coordinated everything. Then telling her I couldn't wait, I turned and walked back to my friend at the other side of the bar.

By the way, this is a true story. There are several lessons here that actually came out of several sales techniques and seminars that I have taught and attended.

First, (and as your newsletter always endorses) I approached her in a confident, but non-threatening manner. Then I merely introduced myself (by far the best "pick-up line" there is). Next, I asked a series of seemingly innocent questions, and she felt safe answering them. Then adjusted her answers by restating the question in a way that it was directed toward the "close" or achieving what I wanted from the conversation.

By having her agree to have dinner with a stranger (quote, the other winner) it was going to very difficult for her to say no to my invitation without being extremely rude. In addition, I think she appreciated the uniqueness of the approach.

(I also think she was onto me halfway through, but was enjoying the game, as is often the case.)

Most importantly, as is often stated in the DJ Newsletters, it was the combination of uniqueness and confidence that opened the door.

P.S. For those in the sales field out there. Remember, everything is sales. Take what you have learned in your work and apply it to your goals outside the office. You will be surprised.

A Stunningly Beautiful Woman

I found this technique to be a great one for picking up women.

Walk up to a woman that you find attractive. The setting is irrelevant. And say to her with a smile:

"Excuse me, but I could not help to notice you while walking here. I wanted to let you know that you are a stunningly beautiful woman."

Then wait for a response which, in 95% of all cases, is a mix of stunned disbelief mixed in with blushing and immediate like toward you.

I find that most of the time this is all you have to say, and the woman will do most of the talking and the pressure is off you. The woman will freely continue the conversation with you.

Using this technique I have been able to score more numbers and dates than any other way. Follow up the initial comments about how great she looks and how much you are attracted to her. Then tell her you would love to see her for a drink or a meal. Get her number.

I find this works for the following reasons:

* It's courageous, and women like men who take risks.

* It's honest and to the point. They know where they stand with you.

* If they are attracted to you, telling them you find them beautiful will free them from their fear of rejection of being attracted to you.

* It makes them feel good about themselves.

* It lets them know you like them. People like those who like them.

Try it on the next 20 women that you see and you will be amazed with the results.

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Christmas Song Lyrics

30 Quick Tips in Meeting and Dating Women

Over the past few years, in actively and consciously trying to meet women, I have learned a few things. Some of these came as enlightening epiphanies, some came with groans and slaps to the forehead, but they all came with experience.

- It's supposed to be fun. You can't and won't win em all. Get something out of every interaction you have with a woman. Learn something. Entertain yourself with her.

- Be willing to change, but only for yourself.

- It really is a numbers game. Play the numbers, roll with the punches. It's a roller coaster, ups and downs, baby. "When you're up, it's never as good as it seems and when you're down it seems like you'll never get up again." You will.

- "Good things come to those that wait". Not this time. Good things come to those that act. The 3-second rule works on many levels.

- In general, it is bad form to apologize. For anything. You can admit you were wrong, you can offer to make things right, but don't apologize.

- There is no such thing as overconfidence. There is such a thing as taking yourself too seriously, however.

- Do not ask permission to do or say anything. Never ask a woman if you can kiss them, hug them, hold them, etc.

- Agreeable is boring.

- Jealousy is a "let's just be friends" best friend.

- Humor covers a multitude of sins. Laughing is an aphrodisiac. Learn to be funny. Listen to comedy albums. George Carlin, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock.

- Never ask questions that are designed to find out what she thinks of you.

- Role reversal is great fun, and it works. Act like she is trying to get into your pants. Play hard to get. Fight fire with fire.

- Nobody likes a complainer. Unless he's really funny.

- A fireplace is a worthwhile investment.

- A drop of vanilla extract in your bottle of cologne. One spray on your throat, one on your chest, and a little behind your ears.

- The only thing that matters with a woman is now. What she thought of you 10 minutes ago is probably different from what she thinks of you now and what she might think of you 10 minutes from now. So don't worry about what she thinks of you.

- You must lead. Even if you don't know where you're going. Make it an adventure. Take her hand and lead.

- Touch her first, immediately, briefly. Let the kino progress naturally. Don't force it.

- Life isn't fair and dating is a part of life. Dating, dealing with women, isn't and isn't supposed to be fair. Get over it.

- There is no such thing as playing out of your league. Everyone is in the same league. There may be all-stars and scrubs, but even all-stars lose and even scrubs can become all-stars with practice.

- Women love dogs.

- Take periodic breaks from the game. Focus on your other interests. Get your life straightened out. Do something else, then come back.

- Get her to call you, do you favors, adjust her schedule for you, etc.

- The difference between being congruent and sending mixed signals:
Being congruent has to do with who you are. Sending mixed signals is about how you feel about her.

- If you plan to get serious with a woman, there are a few things you should take into account. First, she will turn into her mother. Second, she will turn into her mother.

- A woman will test you and keep on testing you. Don't get too comfortable. Stay on your toes.

- Good dancers are good in bed.

- Good kissers are good in bed.

- Don't let flirting drag on. Stop while it's still fun. Close, or leave and come back.

- Women like sex just as much as we do. They like to talk about it just as much as we do too, maybe even more. But not in the same way.

Kino Frequently Asked Questions

"What is kino?"

Kino is affectionate touching.

"Why is kino important?"

Kino is what makes the difference between being put in the "Friends Zone" or being in the "Sexual Zone". It drives girls wild! If done correctly kino can be an extremely effective tool in attraction. Some people even say kino is the MOST IMPORTANT element of attraction.

"Where am I allowed to touch them?"

Virtually anywhere! Cheek, back, leg, arm, hair, shoulders, fingers, neck, ears.... Just make sure you've kino'd a girl already, before you go for the more private parts.

"I'm afraid girls won't like it if I touch them. Can I get by without kino?"

Only if you want to put in a lot more effort when getting girls.

The great thing about kino is that it is so easy, so effortless - it's a shortcut that actually works. It bypasses all the other bull and makes you a more sexual guy. The thing with kino is that you just have to trust that it works; and trust you should. This stuff has been tried and tested, and it is highly effective.

I have to admit that I was once afraid to use kino. Then eventually I got sick of hesitating and I just went for it! I started out nervously but the more times you use kino, the easier it becomes, and the better you get at it.

GIRLS LOVE KINO! It's what distinguishes you from a "Nice Guy" with no balls, and makes you a confident sexual guy.

"Do you have any other important kino tips?"

- Don't wait for her to initiate kino. You should endeavor to make the first move! However, if she does initiate kino before you get a chance to, don't fret -- it's a very good sign that she's into you.

- If you are a little timid about kino, try what DarkDream calls "pre-kino". It's kino without touching. This means that you are "invading" her space without touching her. For example, if you are both laughing, lean close to her. If she has no problems with this (she does not react negatively), feel free to commence kino.

- When starting kino, make it very subtle, almost imperceptible. Light brushes against the hand or arm are perfect. You can do these light touches while walking, or in conversation to emphasize a point.

- If her responses are positive, get bolder. Try to keep it non-sexual until she initiates kino.

- Don't come on too hot and heavy with kino too early. This is a common newbie mistake.

- When you kino a girl, do it calmly, slowly, and smile.

- Use kino as frequently as you can. It helps you relax into the idea of it, that is, you won't feel WEIRD about it. Use it on anyone and everyone (female of course), your teacher, your relatives - anyone! Just get used to it so it becomes second nature.

Emo Song Lyrics

The Dance

A man was gathering firewood in the forest when he saw a beautiful girl in a glade. She was slender as willow, as fresh as morning dew, her hair was long and fine, and she wore a white tunic but she wore nothing on her feet. And she was dancing.

The man stood transfixed, watching the dance. She seemed at first not to see him, dancing now a little closer to him, now a little further away. Eventually she looked up at the man and their eyes met for a moment, and she seemed to come a step closer to him as she danced. She looked again, and the man thought to see a smile on her face and he stepped toward her. But she danced further away and he stopped.

For a long while he waited, but she did not look back and so he started to walk toward her, but again she danced away, and the quicker he walked, the further she seemed from him, until he was running, and as he ran, she seemed to disappear, and search as he might, he could not find her again.

Back in the village the man told his story, and every man went to the glade to see the girl, to watch her dance, and they always fell in love with her. Always she seemed to smile and invite them, and always they chased her, and always she disappeared.

One day the hunter came to the forest, he was on the trail of a deer. As he stalked the deer he suddenly saw the girl dancing. He stopped and watched her for a moment, but the deer was getting further away, so he moved on, and he did not look back.

Some time later the hunter was again in the forest, this time he was on the trail of a boar. Again the girl appeared, dancing closer this time. Again he stopped and as he looked she looked at him with the hint of a smile. But the boar was getting away, so he nodded curtly and walked on.

As the hunter - running - closed on the boar, the beautiful girl appeared in front of him, even closer than before. Their eyes met, but he ran past her, and in the corner of his eye he seemed to see her stop dancing for a moment as he left.

Time passed. The hunter came to the forest to gather wood to make his arrows. The dancer appeared, further away than before, and this time he stopped to watch her. She danced toward him, step by step drawing closer, now looking at him, now looking away, now smiling at him, now indifferent. He walked swiftly toward her, and she seemed to wait for a moment, but then she danced a few steps away. He stopped, then turned and walked away.

The hunter came back to the forest every week. And every week he watched her dance for a moment, and every week when she danced toward him, he stepped toward her, and he seemed to get ever closer, but she danced away, and he left. He chased the deer and the boar, but he did not chase the dancer.

One day the hunter came to the forest and when the dancer looked at him, because it was good to be a man alive in the forest on a beautiful day and to see a beautiful girl dancing, he smiled a broad joyous smile. The girl's eyes became wide as a doe; she froze and looked down shyly. When she looked up he was still there, the smile gentler now. He nodded to the girl and left.

Several days later the hunter came again into the forest, but this time he was not alone. A huntress was by his side. The dancer appeared, her eyes widened, bewildered and confused. Her dance took a more frantic speed. But the hunter was not looking; he was looking at the huntress. The dancer followed them all the way to the edge of the forest, and never once did the hunter look back.

The hunter came back to the forest alone the next week, and the dancer seemed sad and anxious in her movements, so he looked at her and smiled, and this time she smiled back. He started to turn toward home, but the dancers eyes became wide again so he turned to look at her. She was dancing very close to him now, a step forward, a step to the side, a step forward. The hunter smiled gently again and again turned to leave. And now it seemed that it was he that was dancing, and that she was following his dance.

They danced like this for what seemed a long while. And now they were almost touching. The hunter held out his hand toward the girl, and she took his hand, and they continued to dance, hand in hand.

Kino Foire aux questions
Birthday Song Lyrics

Make Simple Decisions Quickly and Easily

A Don Juan makes simple decisions quickly and easily.

You never stutter, ponder over, or invest a good deal of mental energy in over-analyzing most of the relatively mundane decisions which must be made in romantic situations.

When you ask a girl out, you have a plan and make a specific recommendation. No, "What do you want to do? I don't know what do you want to do?" You lead. All she has to do is agree. If she doesn't agree with a particular proposal, then you lead her towards a different proposal.

A dinner date? You open the car door for her. You park in the first open spot you see. You approach the hostess requesting, "Table for two in the non-smoking area." Or if there's no hostess, you quickly survey the scene, pick out a table and head for it. (You may ask your date, "Is this table okay with you?" Nothing wrong with being polite.) You take the menu, peruse it briefly for a few minutes, then put it down and order. Once you're both finished eating, you pick the check up and pay it.

No matter what kind of date you go on, whether it's a dinner date in a restaurant, a party at a friend's house, or a day at the park, there are dozens of simple little decisions which must be made. As the man, it's your job to orchestrate the date, to take charge, to make things as easy and enjoyable as possible for the lady.

Everything should flow smoothly. In fact, she's somewhat judging you based upon how smoothly the date does "flow." If it flows, she'll conclude that the date's going well, that there's a certain chemistry between the two of you, and she will be much more likely to want to see you again.

If the date doesn't flow, i.e. lots of awkward pauses while you fret over these minor decisions, she'll begin to doubt that you are, in fact, the kind of man she's looking for. She'll begin to doubt the "chemistry."

In addition to increasing your initial dating success by increasing flow, you need to continue to make these simple little decisions - quickly and easily - even after you start seeing someone on a regular basis. Why? Because making these kinds of little decisions quickly and easily is an EASY WAY for you to garner respect.

Remember, RESPECT is one of the most important elements of a romantic relationship. If she doesn't respect you, she will never love you... or even lust after you. Garnering respect from the ladies is crucial to your romantic success.

There are lots of little ways for you to garner respect (the subject of a future article). One of the easiest is to handle these decision points with ease. It's also one of the ways that guys very frequently screw up... and they don't even realize it.

Imagine arriving at that same restaurant with your date.

You drive round and round looking for the best spot.

There's no hostess so you and her stand there and try to decide where you should sit. After a couple minutes, she picks a table and you two head for it.

The waiter comes over and asks what you'd like to drink. You think for a second, ask what they have, then after he runs down the list, you finally pick something.

When he comes back to take your order, you're still trying to decide what you want, still studying the menu. Your date's ready to order. You ask for more time.

When the check comes, you let it sit there for an eternity while trying to decide whether you should pay it, or she should pay half, or whatever.

And so it goes... on and on like this for the entire night. You faltering on simple little decisions... inhibiting flow and chemistry... and losing more and more respect in your date's eyes.

What to do? Where to park? What to order? These are all examples of "decision points" which occur quite frequently in romantic situations... and these decision points present you with the opportunity to garner respect from your lady... or to project weakness.

Of course, we're not talking about taking a dictatorial approach to relationships. If she wants to do something else, or sit someplace else, or pay for dinner... fine. These little things shouldn't really matter to you. After all, you've got your eye on the big picture -- having fun.

Remember... indecisiveness in a man is a highly undesirable trait, and will turn a woman off faster than a moldy pair of Scooby-Doo boxer shorts.

And when she doesn't kiss you goodnight, begins screening your calls, and never goes out with you on that second date... you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

The Kiss of Death

You've met the most incredible girl. You don't really know her, but you're pretty sure she's a Goddess, sent straight from Heaven, in jeans.

You exchanged glances in Chemistry, had a few brief conversations after class, and even bumped into her at the mall. (Talk about fate.)

You KNOW you want her. There's no doubt about it. The question now becomes, "Does she want you?"

She smiles at you... but is it a friendly or a flirtatious smile? You saw her leave with another guy after class... was he her boyfriend? She flirted with you last week, even touched your shoulder... then completely ignored you the other day. Does she like you?

How can you tell? You really need to know this before you begin the "pursuit" don't you?

Perhaps the most common question posed on the Don Juan Discussion Forum concerns "reading women" and trying to figure out whether they like you or not. The poster usually describes his situation, what he did, what she did, and then asks, "Does this mean she likes me?" Or, "Does this mean she doesn't like me?"

Definitely a popular question. Definitely a question in need of an answer.

Well, here's the quick answer to that question --> Obsessing about a particular girl, and whether or not she likes you, is THE KISS OF DEATH!

If you're worrying about whether a girl likes you or not, chances are she doesn't -- or rather, SHE WON'T. She won't because your "worry" and your obsession with what she thinks of you will actually push her away.

Let me clarify.

When you let yourself fall into the "obsession" trap, you begin to analyze everything your dream girl does, every word she says, every move she makes... and try to relate them all to you.

She smiled at you -- she didn't smile at you. She emailed you -- she didn't email you. She returned your call -- she didn't return your call. Confusion, frustration, and anxiety inevitably result.

This obsession with her behaviors and their meanings will paralyze you, confuse you, and suck every ounce of confidence you have from your body. You will become a Blithering Blob of Insecurity. And women, in general, are not attracted to Blithering Blobs of Insecurity.

So are you wrong to be confused by women? NO! Absolutely NO! Women ARE confusing. Always have been and always will be. That's just the way they are.

Especially when it comes to romance, women seem totally inconsistent in their behaviors. One minute you're convinced you're the man of her dreams, and the next she seems to be unaware of your existence. One minute she's flirting, and smiling, and rubbing up against you, and the next minute she's gone, left without even saying "bye." You SHOULD be frustrated and confused!

Now, no one knows exactly why women give off such mixed signals and deliberately, it seems, attempt to confuse us. Some suspect it's those magazines they read. Others think it has to do with the secret bathroom conferences they hold. Still others propose that their illogical behaviors are due to the wacky hormones they have surging throughout their bodies. The cause is relatively unimportant. You just have to accept it, and plot a strategy to deal with it.

So, given the inconsistencies of female romantic behavior, attempting to "read" women and figure out what they're thinking, is, at best, an incredibly frustrating experience. So don't do it. Don't even attempt it.

Just say NO to "reading" women!

Okay... well... if you don't really try to "read" women to determine whether they like you or not, then what do you do? What's your strategy? After all, they may be confusing, illogical, and somewhat annoying, but you still wanna get you one.

Simple: If you're attracted to a girl, then just ASSUME she's attracted to you too. And ACT ACCORDINGLY.

Assume that she likes you and would like to get to know you better. Assume that she's physically attracted to you. Assume that YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to attract such a lady, no matter how incredible she seems.

Assume the positive... always the positive. Assuming the negative will kill any chances you might have with her. (Pessimists, my friend, are not chick magnets.)

Now there are many exciting benefits of adopting this attitude of assuming that women you like also like you... and treating them accordingly.

For one, if you refuse to obsess about all the little "signs" she's giving you, whether they be good signs or bad signs, you will feel more relaxed, calm, and confident. You won't be "up" one minute because she smiled at you, and "down" the next because she also smiled at some other guy.

Attempting to "read" her will only lead to confusion, frustration, and anxiety. And this will make you more tense when she's around, and thus, less likely to be the charming, charismatic Don Juan that you'd like to be.

And you also won't be wasting your time trying to figure out what she's thinking... trying to figure out what every little move mean... and where you stand. You'll be able to devote your "mental time" to something more useful and productive.

Secondly, if you just assume that she likes you, then you will actually increase the probability that she eventually WILL like you. This is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy, and is a well-documented phenomenon in psychological research.

Basically what this means is that if you have a "she likes me" attitude, then you'll project positive, optimistic behaviors and thoughts. She'll pick up on these and ... like you.

If, on the other hand, you have a "she doesn't like me" attitude, you'll project negative, pessimistic behaviors and thoughts. She'll, likewise, pick up on these and like you less.

And if you have a "does she like me" attitude, then you'll project tense, anxiety-ridden behaviors and thoughts that will decrease the probability of her liking you... or she may even find being around you to be an "uncomfortable" experience. (Isn't it easier to relax around people who are relaxed themselves?)

And third, the attitude of just assuming that she likes you, rather than worrying about whether she does or not, allows you to maintain control of the situation... and yourself.

If you are obsessing about the "signs" and allow the "signs" to control your behaviors, thoughts, and emotions, then you have basically given her complete control of the situation. And complete control over you.

If she's "good" to you, you're happy. If she's "bad" to you, you're sad. If she wants to encourage you, she can throw out a few positive signals. If she wants to discourage you, she can throw out a few negative signals. You're happiness is basically under her control... whether she knows it or not.

Not the position that a "Don Juan" likes to be in.

However, if you just assume that she likes you and treat her accordingly, and refuse to be controlled by all the little signs especially the bad ones), you take charge of the situation. You have decided that you like her. And you have decided that she likes you... or will like you when she gets to know you better. And you act accordingly.

You exude confidence. You're relaxed. And you project that "aura" that every budding Don Juan searches for. (The poor girl won't stand a chance up against that aura.)

Okay, so you agree that obsessing about a particular girl and whether or not she likes you is not in your best interest. It will turn you into a Blithering Blob of Insecurity, decrease the probability that she will like you, and give her complete control over your happiness.

So what do you do when those thoughts start to take over your mind? I mean, after all, she is a Goddess, right?

Here's one simple little mental trick that might help you.

Whenever the obsessive "does she like me" thoughts start to take over your mind, even if they're the "good" ones, mentally grab them with your hands, throw them down on the floor, and step on them. Then remind yourself that obsessing about her is not in your best interest, that it will suck away your confidence, and actually decrease the probability that you'll eventually get her.

At this point you want to take a deep breath... smile... laugh... and think to yourself, "I should send that Allen guy a few bucks."

The Relationship Begins Before You Meet Her

Tomorrow you are going to wake up with a wonderful idea.

You will race out of bed, turn on your computer, and begin authoring an important document. It will be a detailed description of Mrs. Don Juan, the woman you will eventually marry, but have yet to meet.

Using your imagination, you will profile her age, physical characteristics, education and career goals. You will describe her personality, demeanor, interests, likes and dislikes. You will profile her life experiences and how she has dealt with adversity.

More importantly, you will describe her personal flaws. (Remember this isn't a fantasy girl, this your future wife.) You will detail flaws in her appearance, personality and character. You will also describe how at some point in her life, she recognized those flaws and how she has made positive efforts to minimize them.

Most importantly, you will put your own ego and desires aside and describe what Mrs. Don Juan requires and desires from you. This will be the toughest part of the document to write, but it will not be complete unless you do it. You will realistically describe everything that she wants from you with as much detail as when you described everything you wanted from her.

After completing the document, you will print out a small copy and keep it with you in your wallet. That way, Mrs. Don Juan will always be with you and a part of you.

You will then come to the realization that the two of you will never meet unless you improve yourself in order meet her requirements and desires as stated in the last portion of your document. You will develop a self-improvement regimen based on two proven reality factors:

1) Women need men with Confidence, Control, and Challenge.
2) Women want men with Looks, Money, and Power.

The first place you'll head off to is the gym. While working out, you'll experience instant improvements in your posture, thus enhancing your Confidence. The better-looking body will come in time.

After the first workout, you'll go to the men's section of the local store. You'll stock up on some hair and skin products. Perhaps buy some cologne. When you come back home you'll see that rising stack of bills on your table, so you pull out the old check book and resolve to take better care of your finances and organize your time. Phase One of your relationship with Mrs. Don Juan will have begun.

Months will pass and you'll start to see some results from your hard work. Your body will be more fit, you will have adopted a more clean and neat appearance and your financial improvements will have created a sizable amount of disposable income.

You will resolve to read more books thus enhancing your overall knowledge and vocabulary. You'll resolve to spend more time around people, thus learning social skills and how to exude charisma. You will no longer hesitate in asking a woman for her home phone number.

The increase in your level of self-confidence will have eliminated your fear of risk-taking. You'll enjoy the process of constantly growing and improving. No longer will you be doing it for Mrs. Don Juan. You'll be improving yourself, for yourself.

More months will pass and you will have eliminated the personal flaws in your own character and replaced them with better, more productive habits. You won't date as often as your buddies, but the few dates you do go on will always be with interested women, because you will have long since learned to show Control and Challenge by screening the losers out.

You will be at peace with yourself and be just an overall happier person, thus more popular. You will possess Power not just from your personal accomplishments, but also from the quality relationships you will have developed with close friends and family.

You will be a complete man. You will have satisfied all of Mrs. Don Juan's requirements and desires. Only then will she appear to you in the flesh.

You'll pull the document out of your wallet and be utterly amazed. She will be almost everything that you described in your profile of her long ago. Phase Two of your relationship with her will then begin.

When the two of you are married and on your honeymoon, Mrs. Don Juan will often refer to the moment she saw you for the first time as the moment when the relationship began for her. She'll say it was "love at first sight". She won't be lying when she says that. That will just be her perspective of things.

You, however, will know that you simply passed her physical attraction test when she met you for the first time. But for you, the relationship with her will have begun long before then. It will have begun when you resolved to become everything Mrs. Don Juan wants and needs out of a husband, with no respect to your own ego.

We as guys tend to often think that relationships begin only after we've banged her. Not true.

The relationship begins before you meet her.

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How to Make Her Feel Great When You're Around

In one of the most famous psychological experiments of all time, Russian Nobel-Prize winner Ivan Pavlov proved a phenomenon we know as "classical conditioning" or "association." Perhaps you have heard of the experiment.

Pavlov rigged dogs with a device that would collect saliva. When he fed the dogs, they salivated. This is a natural, reflexive response. It is not learned, it is pretty much instinctive.

Pavlov then added an extra step. He would feed the dogs and simultaneously ring a bell. The dogs, as before, would salivate upon being fed. After doing this for a period of time, Pavlov rang the bell without feeding the dogs. THE DOGS SALIVATED ANYWAY. The dogs had been "conditioned" to associate the bell ringing with the food, which then triggered the reflexive response (salivation).

So what does this have to do with being successful with women?

EVERYTHING!

Women are Pavlov's dogs. In fact, we all are Pavlov's dogs. We associate pretty much everything.

Have you ever caught a whiff of a perfume that reminded you of your ex, because she used to wear it? You associate that particular scent with your ex. For a long time, it's "Perfume + Amy", "Perfume + Amy", "Perfume + Amy" ... and then all the sudden it's just "Perfume" and your mind automatically adds the Amy because you now associate that perfume with her.

The same with songs on the radio, certain stretches of roads from your childhood, even a particular movie. I'm sure you can think of a million examples.

So, now that we understand how conditioning and association works, what next?

Well, understanding is only half of the battle. It's good to be familiar with the weapons in your arsenal, but they don't mean a thing unless you can use them.

So, now that we understand it, we must use it to sway things in our favor, to help us with women, and eventually use it to conquer the world. Well, okay, I'll handle that last part, and you worry about the women.

There are two major ways things can be associated: positively and negatively.

Positive associations are going to be our friends. They're going to be like the little voices in her head that will keep reminding her of you even when you aren't around. Since the best associations work on an emotional or reflexive level, this is what we must target. We want to associate ourselves with certain involuntary bodily responses.

When she sees you, what do you want her body to do?

We want her heart to race, her breathing to quicken. We want her cheeks to flush, her skin to tingle, her pupils to dilate. The physiological signs of EXCITEMENT. So how do we go about that?

We need to associate ourselves with exciting things. This is the main reason we recommend the so-called "action dates." You want to get the adrenaline flowing, her heart pounding. Hiking, biking, rock climbing, ice skating, laser tag, pool, bowling, miniature golf, etc. Things that involve activity.

Since you will be with her, she will associate this excitement with you. Then, when you remove one of the elements, the other associated element will be brought up in her mind. So the next time she sees you, she will subconsciously think "excitement" and she will become excited. And the next time she is excited, particularly if it's doing the same activity you did together, she will think of you. And this will only reinforce the association more.

The thing to keep in mind here is that we want her feeling good when she is around you. At all times. Do you remember that line from "The Lion King"? Hakuna Matata. "No worries."

When she is with you, she should be able to leave her problems at the door and just have fun. You are her tour guide to a fun destination outside of her everyday responsibilities. You want her to feel happy when she is with you. She will then associate you with happiness, and once you've accomplished that, you're golden.

Now, a few words about negative association. These are the things to avoid at all costs.

Have you ever eaten something, like, say, potato salad, and gotten food poisoning? If you're like me, after that, the mere thought of potato salad makes you feel ill. And it seems like no one can persuade you to eat potato salad anymore after that. You associate the food with the illness. It's a very negative association.

So, you can see why you don't want to have a girl associate you with anything negative.

It's not always possible to control these things, but we can reduce the risks.

If your girl hates her job, and it makes her totally miserable, it is NOT a good idea to go visit her at work. She's swirling with negative emotions, and those emotions are likely going to overpower any positive effects that seeing you will have, especially if you don't know each other very well.

Don't go out with her when you're sick. If you take her out and make her sick, you might as well be potato salad, buddy. And if you're in a bad mood, stay the hell away from her. You want her to associate you with positive energy, not negative pissed-at-the-world vibes.

The biggest factor that women care about in relationships is ***HOW YOU MAKE HER FEEL.***

For better or worse, positive or negative, the way you make her feel and the feelings that she associates with you is largely going to affect the outcome -- whether you succeed or fail will depend in no small part on what she thinks of when she thinks of you.

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Get a Girlfriend

Here's the No. 1 all-time most important tip that you will ever get.

Get a girlfriend!

"What?" I hear you say. "But that's exactly why I'm getting these tips, because I can't get a girlfriend."

Really? Are you being completely honest with yourself? What about that chubby girl that used to smile at you a lot? Or that slightly nerdy girl that seemed interested in you? You know what I mean don't you?

You know that you have passed up girls that you aren't interested in because they don't meet some standard, because they are not the one you could consider falling in love with. Well, my friend, you are making a huge mistake.

If you are alone and the only girl that seems interested in you is a "2" and is 100 lbs. overweight, go out with her!

You don't have to marry her. You don't have to be long term. You don't have to even get intimate with her. But for goodness sake, take her out somewhere and have a good time together.

Why? Well, there are lots of reasons.

(i.) You will not be lonely and isolated. Even though you will feel less than content and satisfied, at some level in your subconscious you are having basic human needs for affection, attention, and company with the opposite sex met. You will, even without realizing it, be more relaxed and confident.

(ii.) You will prevent yourself from sliding down a black hole of alienation, social isolation, depression and loneliness. You will "have a life". This is good for you generally, and good for the vibe you will radiate at other women.

(iii.) She will introduce you into her social circle. You will meet potential friends, you will have a social life, you will feel even better about life, and you will meet more women in a social setting.

(iv.) You will be getting practice and experience just hanging out with and conversing with a woman/girl. You will be learning more and more about how to act around women. This will come more naturally.

(v.) You will be seen about with her. DON'T be embarrassed by this! Believe me, the 3-5's will notice and wonder what she's got that they haven't. There is nothing worse than being constantly seen about town moping about by yourself.

(vi.) Now, assuming you don't fall in love with her (don't laugh, it happens), you will be in a perfect position to start dating a 3-5 when she starts showing interest in you... and then that will lead to you being noticed by the 5-7s... and then you are pretty close to being noticed by the ones you really like, by which stage you will be ready to interact with them more naturally. Get it?

What stops you from doing this? Is it really because a less than beautiful girl repulses you? I doubt it. It is probably because you are a decent and good young man who doesn't want to lead on a girl that he isn't REALLY interested in.

You don't want to hurt her. You don't want to date her for a while and then dump her do you? You are scared of "using" her. You don't like hurting females, and that is a good thing and something you should be proud of.

So, how to get around this?

Well, the first thing is that you keep it casual and you don't promise any more than you are ready to give. Don't lead her on! Date her, enjoy each others company, but don't deceive her and don't use her.

If and when the time comes to move on, say this: "Look Julie/Debbie (whatever), I've had a good time with you over the last few weeks/months, but I just don't feel any romantic vibe happening between us and I think it's time to move on."

Don't tell her that you are not attracted to her, and don't tell her you want to be "just friends." If you tell her that you don't feel romance happening between you, then this is a language that females understand.

Get out there and get a girlfriend, any girlfriend! Do it now!

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How to Make a Great First Impression

I have come to realize that aside from having a solid foundation of confidence and charm, one has to make very sure to make an outstanding first impression. The first impression you make on a girl can have a major impact on the way she sees you from that point forward.

It seems that the first impression is like a "sample" of who you are. If your first impression (approach) is dull, predictable and boring. She will view you as such. If your approach is common, she will see you as just another guy wanting to get laid. If your approach is light-hearted, confident and funny, she will see you that way as well.

I know friends of mine who are very good-looking guys and are actually quite confident and fun to be around over all. But when they approach girls and establish that first impression, they often come across as being nervous and predictable. Something like:

"Oh, hi. Umm. I couldn't help but notice you from across the room. Do you think that I could have you number?"

They seem to think that once the girl gets to know them, and once they can get the girl on a date, that they can show these girls how confident and fun-loving they are. The sad part is, they never make it to the first date. Since the girls' initial impression of them was "dull, nervous, boring, predictable."

Obviously, we all know that first impressions are lasting ones, and are very, VERY important in the dating game. So it would make sense to actually rehearse and practice, and fabricate a great, no make that an iron-clad approach.

It's said that in business, making a killing doesn't have anything to do with the product you are selling, but how well you present (advertise) the product. You can have a great product (personality, body, etc), but if you can't advertise it properly, you're dead wherever you go.

After a first impression has been made, the imagination immediately begins to fabricate and build upon this initial impression. If it's a good first impression, a good image of you will be created in her mind.

Now, to the most important part. What constitutes the ideal approach?

Well, first off, we want a clear vision of what kind of man we want our Mrs. Perfect to see us as. Ideally, we would want her to know we were confident, smart, funny, and ambitious. Right?

And we can't rely on the first date to show her how confident and fun we are if we don't get that first date. Therefore, we have to take all these great qualities and package them into a neat "sample package," called the first impression. Which will start a chain reaction of great thoughts and feelings of attraction towards us.

I have spent an appreciable amount of time pondering this very thing. I have asked myself over and over how and what type of approach I was going to make when I see an attractive girl.

Here is what I have so far:

Let's say I'm at the gym for example. When I see a girl I am interested in I will do the following:

Step One

I will ensure that my posture is intact. Head high, shoulders slightly back and in proper alignment. I will walk with grace and confidence.

It's a fact that there are over 750,000 non-verbal signs we give off, which tell other people about who we are! Therefore, it becomes very, very important that she sees this. Don't overdo it and walk around like a machoman or anything, but make sure your movements and gestures are very calm, coordinated and sound.

Step Two

Mild eye contact. I will make some eye contact with "relaxed" eyes, not nervous, but calm, casual, brief eye contact (as I walk in her direction).

Step Three

In a calm and light-hearted voice, I will say the following: "Hi, I'm James. I haven't seen you around here before. You must be new to this gym (school, store, whatever)." When done in a calm and casual manner, this shows confidence.

Let her answer.

"I guess this means I'm going to have to invite you out for coffee. And if you don't drink coffee, too bad. You can watch me drink coffee, while I get to know you better. Deal?" This would show even more confidence and a sense of humor.

So far up to this point, she now sees you as being a funny, light-hearted, non-desperate and confident guy. Let's see, what else could we add to this.

After she says "Sure, why not," (which is very probable, since we haven't come on too strong and we have displayed some very attractive qualities) we could then proceed to ask for her phone number.

"Cool, what's you number? I've gotta run, but I'll drop you a line when I get some free time. Okay?"

This is very effective since you're not saying "I wonder if I could have your number" which seems insecure and desperate. You're putting her in a position where she would have a hard time telling you no.

It also makes you look "busy and not-so-available." It shows her that you have a life and that she IS NOT the priority. She's going to have to work her a$$ off for that! Furthermore, you're ending the convo which shows her who's in control.

Plus there's another hidden gem; you're also being unpredictable and mysterious since you haven't yet given her a time when you're going to call, or if you're going to call. This makes her wonder about you and your degree of interest in her.

So what's the sum total of this brief dialog. In a nutshell, it has portrayed you as being:

* Mysterious
* Fun and exiting
* Unpredictable
* In control
* Confident
* Charming
* Easy-going
* Calm and collected
* Assertive, initiative, and in demand

I'll lay out the approach again for easy reading. Essentially the goal is to come up with the perfect approach and make a great first impression. And to do this by saying as little as possible, but making what you say COUNT.

"Hi, I'm James. I haven't seen you around here before. You must be new to this gym (school, store, whatever)."

Let her answer.

"I guess this means I'm going to have to invite you out for coffee. And if you don't drink coffee, too bad. You can watch me drink coffee, while I get to know you better. Deal?" Smile. This would show even more confidence and a sense of humor.

Her: "Sure, why not."

You: "Cool, what's your number. I've gotta run, but I'll drop you a line when I get some free time. K?"

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How to Keep a Woman

Here is some advice on keeping a woman, courtesy of my friend Phil -- the best womanizer you or I will ever know!

He says you have to always hold something back, and always leave something up to her imagination to keep her curiosity alive. Most of us guys are pretty much the same, but women don't know that, and curiosity is one of your best weapons.

Another thing he said was that you have to make her miss you. Everyone here knows about scarcity and being unavailable, but in order for scarcity to be effective you have to be sure of one thing -- the time she does spend with you must be absolutely amazing, and without a doubt the best time she could have with anyone.

Now I'm not saying you have to take her to new places and show her new things. It does help, but it's not necessary. I can go to the mall with Phil and have the most awesome time ever. You need to be able to create an awesome, MEMORABLE experience with anyone, anywhere, especially when it really counts.

Also, she can NEVER be the first priority in your life. Always put her second to something, whether it be your family, career, friends, whatever. But leave a small piece of hope in her mind that she could become #1.

Plus, he says you have to make her put some work into hanging out with you in order for her to value you. Make her come and pick you up, make her spend some money on you, make her call and do you favors, etc. When she does things for you it will justify her own feelings for you and allow them to grow.

This is excellent advice no matter what stage of the relationship you are in.

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